My friend cheerily invited me to join her and some friends for salsa class. I was like, wow, seriously? I love to try out salsa and it is also a good opportunity to try out something new and get out of my comfort zone. I was looking forward to a phone call from my mom (she's overseas for now) so that I could tell her all about the exciting news. And guess what? The mom I love(d) dampened my spirits. More than dampened. She insulted me and put me down by asking very rudely, "Why on earth are you pursuing a woman's hobby?"

I felt like I was slapped in the face. I defended myself by saying it will only be for six weeks, plus a few of my guy friends are joining as well, so I won't be the only miserable guy over there. She asked whether that is a ballroom dance or not. I agreed, and I was clinging on the hope that maybe she will let me join, because last time, our family loved to listening to karaoke romantic music and watching the couple ballroom dancing.

And she picked on my weak point and attacked my femininity/masculinity. She believes my masculinity will be jeopardized if I were to learn salsa. She strongly believes that men who dances are gay, i.e. implying that I am gay, and my guy friends who are joining salsa, gays. I flared up! It isn't justifiable! I wanted to shout at her and knock on her head for being really stupid. I mean, in the 21st century, gender stereotypes are falling already. And she believes men into dancing are gay? Oh, GET A GRIP, MOM! Haven't you heard of hip hop dancing (which my little brother wants to do)? Or maybe dancing in rave parties? That's not gay at all. People are having fun, and that's the important thing.

Why don't you want me to at least try out salsa and have fun, mom? Why are you so insecure about my, erm, "manliness" when I am perfectly fine with myself? Sure, I know I'm different from most guys, and I may be a bit feminine, but I can't change myself. It's who I am, and I'm perfectly comfortable with it. I just want to try it out and spend some time with friends, that is all! I have never done that before, and this is one of those opportunities which I can easily get. But thanks to you, it's now gone, and not only that, you've delivered a deadly blow to my self-esteem. Thanks so much!

What image of me you conjured in your mind, can you please destroy it? I'm sorry, I just cannot meet your "expectations" of me anymore! You cannot interfere with my life anymore. If I am not dependent on you financially, I will, and I so will, take life into my own hands and do whatever I want with it. That is what I am doing now, and the CAS element of IB is giving me THE perfect excuse to stretch myself and get out of my "bubble". I'm sick, and tired, of being the nerdy nerdy nerd! I want a life. I NEED A LIFE!

And I can't be bothered talking to you or my dad about anything else because you don't respect the activities which will define me. And you think by learning salsa, I turn gay. Sure, I'm glad you gave me the consent to stop piano classes. I'm happy for that. Nevertheless, you shouldn't control the activities I want to join and manipulate me like a puppet. Oh yes, you can join others but not salsa because it makes men like you gay, weak and pathetic. She even mentioned she is disgusted by men dancing like gays. Er, no! Not all dance like that. You should have been glad that I am not signing up for pole dancing! -.-"

First, you slashed out at me for joining cooking class because cooking is for girls. You could not bear the thought of me joining yoga class, because "for men, it is too soft a sport". You wanted to question me about taking care of Dane, my autistic child, but when you hear the word "autistic", you kept quiet because you thought I was contributing to society. I dare not mention taking care of toddlers as well, otherwise you'd think I am training for motherhood.

I wanted to learn cooking because I want to be self-sufficient when I am in university, and maybe save you some money! I want to learn yoga because yoga is as close as getting flexible as gymnastics, and my country does not have any public gymnastics class. I want to take care of children because my friends suggested me to, and I want to interact with young people and learn to connect with them.

I do these things to benefit myself and be a balanced person with a life, not to prepare myself for a sex change. Do you get that? DO YOU GET THAT?

No wonder I don't tell my parents things. I'm glad for that. It saves me a lot of embarrassment, and wear and tear. Go figure!

[+] There's more!

My younger brother is bullied in his new school. My new school! And it is just the beginning of Term 2!

It did occur yesterday but it was rather "minor" and I thought it was a harmless prank. Today, it got worse. What happened was some bunch of immature babies decided to grab his bottle and put soap in it when they were in the toilet. How nasty can they get?! Why are they depriving of his source of water for the day in school. WHAT THE HELL WERE THEY THINKING OF?

And I was told by the maid that the other day, some people dropped a sharpener into his bottle of water. Then yesterday, he angrily told me that a "friend" of his emptied his water bottle, in front of it, and decided to fart into it.

HOW CAN PEOPLE BE SO RIDICULOUSLY CHILDISH?

No, it cannot be tolerated any longer. My brother is throwing a big tantrum here. Tomorrow first thing in the morning, I am going in to speak to the teacher or the principal and raise my concern. What I hate about my brother is that he is so afraid to speak out! =( And I worry for him because he is unwilling to take any action to stop this ludicrous nonsense! Why stay silent, and then throw tantrums at home when absolutely NOTHING can be done? What is he so afraid of? Revenge? Why must he be so afraid?

I don't understand... =( I fail at being the older brother. =(

I told my mom about this problem because I really don't know what to do. =( I am so hopeless when it comes to these things.

I am just so upset that such things could happen here in my new school. It is very unjust, especially since he transferred over a few months ago. It is just the beginning of Term 2. I dread to think what will happen if this goes on unnoticed.

My brother is a victim of bullying. This must not go on. He needs to be strong; he HAS to be strong. If our family isn't there for him when he goes elsewhere, how else is he going to survive in this harsh world we live in. The world so full of idiots who truly doesn't deserve living in such a beautiful place. Well, it once was a beautiful place.

Now, I think my brother fears going back to school because of bullying. He is now thinking of even transferring back to his old school. I think I know why he thought of that a few months back. I don't think running away from bullying is possible. They just keep happening, until and unless he speaks up and remains firm on the ground.

[+] There's more!

Let me tell you of my bitter experience while traveling in a foreign land.

It happened in Murray Street, during the first week of my holiday. I had just hopped off the free city bus heading to Borders, my favourite place in Perth. So we walked past Woolworths and I decided to stop for a drink before we continue to Borders. As I was struggling to free my bottle from my bag, a guy approached me. This guy was big (not in an intimidating way) and had shaggy blond hair. He was freckled and wearing shirt and shorts. He's in his teen, probably not older, or even younger, than me. I thought he looked shoddy.

So this guy stopped me and asked for my help. I was confused by his sudden appearance. First of all, city people do not call out to random strangers. He proceeded to explain that he needed someone to help him carry a sign around which advertised Subway burgers. I eyed him suspiciously, and told him I was busy and heading off to a bookstore (yes, stupid response! =O). I don't know how, or why, but he managed to persuade me to help him out for a little while. He told me to walk around Murray and Hay Streets and hold the sign. That was all I had to do. I asked why, and he told me he needed a little break.

Guess what? I said:

Err... okay, sure! Just for a short while, right?

Oh my goodness, can you believe how dumb I was? I was what my former English teacher says, "A blinking donkey". My little brother instantly avoided me and pretended he didn't know me. I REALLY did walk around holding up the sign! People were eyeing me. They STARED at me!!! =( At first, I felt fuzzy doing something nice for someone, until I began to flush with embarrassment. Then it hit me.

I WAS USED! USED!!!

I cannot believe my stupidity. I may be that smart alec in class, but my street smartness equates 0! I didn't walk too far a distance, thankfully, saving me many minutes of shame. My little brother pestered me to go back and give it back to the guy. I even scolded him lightly, before I heeded to his sensible advice and headed back to our promised meeting place near Woolworths.

So I walked back there and tried looking for the guy.

AND THERE HE STOOD IN FULL GLORY, CLEARLY FLIRTING WITH A SALESGIRL! =O (She was promoting some product at a small stall.)

I was boiling mad. I approached him quickly, and he pretended to not even notice me! He went to a group of giggling girls and pretended to join in a conversation.My temperature soared an all-time high. I ranted to the salesgirl. While she was sorry to see me being taken advantage off, she told me bluntly she couldn't help me.

I questioned the legality of making tourists help someone with work. The guy finally acknowledged me after some time. I repeated it again to him.

"It is illegal to make tourists do the work for you. I'm a tourist, you're not supposed to do that."

"I'm just asking you to help out. Can't you help me out for a few more minutes? You will even be paid for it!"

An interlude here: Forgive me for saying this, but...

FUCK YOU! TO HELL WITH YOU, YOU ARSEHOLE!

*ANGRY*

I then realised I was being taken advantage of by some unknown dude! And he had probably told the girls how he has managed to influence a nerdy chink to do something stupid. I was embarrassed, I felt foolish, stupid and dumb! I am worse than a retard, I tell you! =(

To avoid more trouble, I passed back the sign to him rudely and strode away. He called after me and tried stuffing the sign into my bag. "What are you doing?" I hissed. I strode faster. He was getting closer. HE WAS ACTUALLY CHASING ME!

HE WAS BEGGING ME TO HELP HIM! *shriek* That IS not helping at all! If you want help, you don't go desperate over it, especially not something like this. It is his job to walk around the city and advertise for Subway. I have absolutely nothing to do with it. Too bad I didn't realise that many minutes ago! Argh! =(

The situation took a turn for the worse. Feeling embarrassed was bad enough. It wasn't until later that night I realised what had just happened.

I. Was. Harassed.

This guy was insane! He actually chased me across the block. I fled for my life. Adrenaline kicked in. Fight or flee. I chose the latter. I can't fight. I'm too pathetic to fight. I ran with all my might. I ran one block and ended up at Hay Street. I didn't stop until I was near Borders, and certain that he was gone. There was no way that chav could have run so far. I thanked God for blessing me with naturally long legs.

I was flustered and lost my younger brother. I panicked. What if he harassed my brother? Thankfully, he came a minute later, complaining that he couldn't keep up with me. I was too shocked to laugh at the pun. He explained that he saw me took off and the guy stopped running at the junction. The guy later went back without touching my brother. I was so glad that my brother was unharmed. That was my primary concern.

Rage took over me. I was determined to lodge a complain at Subway. People like that should not exist on this planet. The very least I can do is to get him fired, so that other people will not be victimised. I forgot where Subway was, since it has been a year since I set foot on the city. I took my courage and asked a random passer-by for help. I did say previously that city people do not call out to random strangers. So the couple ignored me before I asserted that I want to know where Subway was. I went to the nearest one which was at the Carillon City food court at the same street. I thanked them and headed down to Subway.

I searched wildly for Subway, like a hungry lion looking for a prey. I spotted it and went to lodge a complain. Sadly, my complain wasn't taken seriously by the branch manager. He could not understand what I say, and handed me a serviette with the Subway hotline written on it. He told I could voice my complain there. I was told by one of the staff that they do not hire anyone to advertise burgers for them.

I was shocked beyond belief. He had been faking it all along! It was all a set-up. I never felt so humiliated in my life. The expression on my face was despair and panic, and I think I scared everyone there. I think I looked like a psycho. =|

I thanked them and walked away sadly. I kept the serviette with me, determined to phone Subway later. At that time, I simply had to shop for books. They provide solace, especially after the stupid traumatic event.

No, I didn't call Subway in the end. There was simply too little information I can provide. I can describe his appearance and the place it happened but that was about it. I doubt there was anything the Subway people can do anyway, since I didn't have his name. I tore the serviette into pieces and threw it away. Damn it, the fucking dickhead got away! He is going to harass more people now. Or maybe tell the entire world how he has managed to get a stranger do his bidding and exert his supremacy.

No justice was served. It was so unfair! =(

My younger brother had me relate the experience to my older brother and his girlfriend. They had wanted to laugh at my story, but they didn't. And I was really surprised. They gave me different advices on how to handle such situations. My elder brother told me to either ignore him or tell him to fuck off if he keeps persisting. It is the city after all, and it can be a treacherous place. His girlfriend taught me to break the advertisement in front of him, and walk away. It sounded pretty cool, and I was envisioning the likely outcome of the situation. Alas, I couldn't do anything since it had already happened.

This experience has really shattered my liking for the city. I love cities, I love to be a city dweller one day. I feel really sad to know the city isn't as safe as I think. I mean, they do portray those in movies, but I never thought it can actually happen to me.

It did, and I will never forget it. It scarred me for life, I guess (or maybe that is another exaggeration). And the very thought that evil is more evil than that is not comforting at all. It changed my future visits to Hay Street and Murray Street malls. I now avoid passing Woolworths, and I am now more careful of myself. My brother warned me that place is a hang-out spot for delinquent teenagers.

I guess the old adage of "never talk to strangers" still applies no matter how old you are.

I was so afraid of going back the next day, but I'm not going to let paranoia get the best of me. After all, I need to make repeated visits to Borders since it is such a wonderful haven for book-lovers. I'm glad Borders is some distance away from Woolworths.

When I once visited Garden City shopping mall and Carillon City, I spotted him AGAIN! I immediately went into OMG mode and immediately retraced my steps. I can't believe I can bump into him twice! Especially in places like Perth where the population is about a million. What are the odds of that happening? And the worst thing was that he wore the same outfit! =| That was freaky. I don't know whether my eyes are playing tricks on me or not. I'm just glad I wasn't seen by him, or whoever he was.

Or maybe I have developed a fear for large freckled Caucasian with blonde shaggy hair who wears black outfit. Is there even such a fear?! =O

My mind is so twisted...

I regretted not even trying to call Subway and lodge a complain. I mean, I think it's worth a try. *sigh* I have failed to stop a monster...

And I do wonder, why of all people was I picked? Is it racism? My vulnerable appearance? My brother suggested that I looked too nice and an easy target. =(

I did get something out of this experience though. I think I now understand harassment and humiliation, and I now know how to handle similar situations...

=(

[+] There's more!

I was looking forward to a nice Pokemon battle online using my Nintendo DS. Yes, Pokemon Diamond has a Wi-fi feature which enables you to communicate with other international users to trade and battle Pokemon. So here is what happened. This battler, I believe, has cheated by using hacked Pokemon. This PM I sent to the moderator explains my situation.

Hey. I thought it best to let you know about this privately before making a big fuss out of it. I'm so afraid I'm blowing things out of proportion, and that I am a sore, sore loser.

The thing is I'm not. I enjoy battles, I really do! I know a good battle from a very very bad one, and this particular user made me feel inferior. I should have requested him to not use legendaries because I have an issue against them. I didn't, taking for granted that he wouldn't use any.

Well, guess what? He used Ho-Oh, Lugia, Groudon and that blasted Arceus. I don't mind a legendary or two, but I think they are too much. Arceus's not even in my Pokedex Prima Guide for Pete's sake. So I questioned his motives. And he gets defensive, cussing me. I kept quiet and proceeded the battle, even though I had wanted to run.

Suddenly, my router went bonkers. Communication error resulted. And guess what that loser said? I'm a sore loser! I can't believe he jumped to conclusions just like that. He bragged finishing the game in two days. He told me he got the legendaries in a trade. He did say during the chat that he rather use them than his normals because they are weak. I made no comment on that. He then became a sexist by questioning my sex, just because I do not turn on voice chat.

My god, I feel like screwing him. I bet he thinks I'm a wuss, gay etc.

I left the chat. I couldn't take it anymore. My rage boiled inside me, but I just... can't lash out. I feel sooo bad. And this experience has taken the fun out of future battles.

I don't know what to do. I just felt like talking to someone about this. Anyone. My friends won't understand my predicament because they don't play Pokemon.

I blocked the dodo too, in case you're wondering.

I do know it is just a game, and I am getting uptight over it. I think I'm overreacting. But I am seeking for a judgement here. Cheaters really do not deserve to win. They are selfish and mean people and make the lives of the people involved extremely miserable.

I don't like being taken advantage of. It happened while I was in Australia too. I can't believe I have stupidly fell for it. It marred my perfect vacation. =( I guess I will elaborate on that later. I'm too bitter to do anything right now.

2008 is coming up in a few hours time. I am flashbacking to the time when my best friend accidentally stumbled onto this secret blog. I cannot believe time has flew so fast. Where has it all gone? I feel sad because I personally feel I haven't achieved much in 2007. I just hope that next year will be a better year. It's a shame 2007 had to end terribly.

Wait. It didn't quite. I went out on an outing with two of my close friends this afternoon. We had a movie marathon. I think I Am Legend and Alvin and the Chipmunks is a good movie. Seriously, take my word for it! =) However, typical of many apocalypse stories, don't expect their endings to be happy. They aren't. However, for I Am Legend, I think the ending is pretty good for that genre. Alvin and the Chipmunks is really cute! Must watch. I love their songs! And it is so much better than the annoying High School Musical movies. Terrible! =O

Erm, all the best to everyone for 2008. May you all have a good health, good prosperity and good prospects. Take care! See you next year, in 2008.

[+] There's more!

My family always manages to make Sunday a living hell for everybody. I have grown to dislike over the years to hate Sundays. I groan when it is a Sunday. Sure, everybody relaxes on Sunday and they appreciate a break after a week of strenuous activities. What is wrong with this kid for hating a beautiful Sunday?

I just hate it. Sundays frustrate me.

Just a few hours ago, we went out to have lunch together. I knew instantly it was going to be a bad day from the way my mom talked in that surly tone. This time, I made sure I did not procrastinate my morning shower. I was all ready and eager to go. She had to make the day so tiring. Sighing, I went into the car. Everyone felt flustered. There was a unspoken dialogue to hurry up. My mom was hungry, and she was being incredibly mean, nasty, selfish, whiny and fussy. Everyone felt they did not deserve to go through it for another time.

I told her of my spontaneous plan. While having lunch, I will photocopy extracts on my Geography textbooks so that I do not have to lug those "dictionaries" to Australia (I'm going there again). Then, I will sell the last of my former school textbooks to a bookshop. Later, I will then hand in the re-enrolment form for my swimming classes.

And she shot me an annoyed look. Stop it, mom! Does it trouble you that much that I will need to move around to do those intended tasks? It is not my fault they are distanced so far apart from each other. Sheesh!

Just when I thought the day was bad enough, my dad had to cuss and swear in the car when some driver was hesitant of driving. He stopped at the junction, not very sure of where he was driving. It is my fault too, because I instructed him of making a wrong turn. But seriously, must you go and curse the driver all the way? Just drive the freaking car. Yeah, we know it was his fault too. Forget it! Do not fret about it too much and yak, yak, yak! How chinky of you. Yes, I am a bit of a racist towards my own race. They can be pretty barbaric and rude. So what? =(

My mom and my dad had to keep making small arguments as well. I was turned off during lunch when my mom was complaining of her hunger. That woman certainly cannot survive famine! =( On a completely unrelated note, I felt sad that making adventurous vacations was definitely out of the question should my mom tag along. She can never cope up with minor discomforts!

My dad was being narcissistic just now. He moaned that people don't greet him whenever they walk past each other. Oh, dad! Please, not everyone gives a damn about you. Seriously. Sometimes, people unintentionally does that. Probably they were not looking your way, or they are deep in thought. They were not trying to be rude. Or some people thought you are not worth their time, or have some issues against you. Naturally, they would not even care whether you are there or not. You cannot be well-liked by everyone, so please stop expecting that from people. Yeah, I told him off. I didn't care whether I sound rude or not. He isn't being realistic!

I felt sad when my younger brother told me he was like my dad too. I thought, oh dear, not another one!

My mom seemed to be sick of me going for swimming classes. She thinks it is too much of a trouble sending me to swimming classes, even though it only takes a few minutes of driving. The class is not that far from home. And she is always, ALWAYS, ALWAYS worried about my sinuses after swimming classes. Please stop caring so much about such an insignificant problem. I'm fine with it, alright? It is just a slight discomfort that I have to put up with. I won't be sick, heck, I have never been sick from swimming. My nose will not go unhealthy, or cancerous. Stop being a Florence Nightingale. You aren't. It isn't even a serious sickness. Don't keep diagnosing me. ARGHHHH!

Don't you dare stop me from attending swimming classes just because of my sinuses! I like swimming, and I love to improve my form. Don't try to keep me away from it. You were the first person who made me swim to overcome hydrophobia. And now you don't want me to attend anymore. What the hell is wrong with you, mom? And you always do not bring me swimming when it is raining. I understand if it is a heavy downpour, but certainly a light drizzle won't kill me?

Regarding the re-enrolment form I have to hand it, my mom thinks that texting the swimming coach will do. She thinks that as their "loyal" swimmer, I am not expected to hand in the form. Simply letting him know that I will return will do. Hey, who do you think you are, mom? I know you are his friend. So what? That doesn't garner you special privileges. I hate it when you want people to treat you like a queen.

My dad did not help improve the situation. He have been complaining about everything just now. It was so noisy in the car. It was really annoying. With the combination of all the minor annoyances, of course I was peeved when I got home. I told my parents to forget about the form. They can do whatever they want. After all, they are the Royal Highnesses.

A few days ago, I fell sick for a day after contracting a sore throat. I initially did not want to tell anyone in the family about it, for fear of what may come. I finally told my mom about it anyway, and the entire household treated me as if I am dying. I am to take regular medications, plus plenty of other useless vitamin supplements. I hate putting those stuffs into my body. I certainly don't need those! I'm fine! I just needed a little bit of rest and I will be alright.

I will be off to Australia soon. I don't look forward to seeing my elder brother. I have just seen him a few weeks ago. I don't look forward to my mom throwing her tantrum. I don't look forward to doing anything there, because my elder brother, a night owl, won't rise until 2pm when all the shops and places of interests will be closing.

I think scuba-diving/snorkelling and sandboarding, and other activities, will not happen. It didn't happen last year, or last last year, or the year before that. We will be doing the same thing over and over again. Curse him!

I HATE EVERYTHING!

I can't wait to grow up. I can't wait to leave everyone behind, and move forward to my own future. I can't wait to drive, so that I do not need to trouble anyone. I can't wait to get my own house somewhere far away, so that I can be independent without anyone setting some silly boundaries. I do not really want people to care too much about it. I'm fine. I am, really.

I should not have started my IB course here. I should have followed some of my friends and study my A Levels in Malaysia. Or maybe migrate to the UK and do my A Levels. Or take a foundation course in Australia. Or just do the IB at some country 100000000000 kilometres away from home.

Gosh, I can't wait to start university and put all these unnecessary troubles behind. I don't need them.

I cannot believe The All-American Rejects are my therapy for now...

[+] There's more!

If my younger brother wants to rot and waste his life, rot! I don't give a damn, and I don't think I will give you anymore damn. You don't know yourself and you aren't willing to even lift a finger to help yourself. Go ahead, rot in the corner. See if I care!

And are you so pathetic and weak that you have to make your elder brother make decisions for you?! And why does he have to care so much about you, influencing you, when he doesn't even know where the heck your interests lie. Oh? That's right, I forgot! YOU HAVE NONE! =O

Giving up swimming to have expensive personal training sessions in a gym is stupid. You're good at swimming, and you're going to let your abilities and talents go to waste. Since when did you like gym sessions? What the hell? You even have the cheek to let your brother defend your case for you. So of course, an argument ensued between he and my mother. I hate the fact that you two constantly piss her off! I hate the fact that you keep on intervening with his life. =O And wow, you think you're so great thinking you could lift weights. HAH! Let's see how long this "interest" of yours will sustain before you quit again.

You're such a quitter. This isn't the first time. Quitters never win. You're in fact on the path to your own destruction. When you're there, don't expect anyone to help you up. You got to help yourself.

Reality is harsh, brother! So many people, despite "the odds", still succeed in life and make their dreams come true. What about you? Are you going to be such a wussy and give up whenever you face obstacles, and make things easy for yourself? Gracious! Grow up.

Oh wait, maybe growing up is too hard for you. Back to square one. Just stay in the corner and rot for all I care.

JUST WAKE UP, WILL YOU?

P.S. The blog post below is now rendered useless and irrelevant.

[+] There's more!

Hey. I had a hard time trying to focus on my Biology when my two brothers abruptly announced a decision which they are going to discuss with my mom. My younger brother intends to go back to his former school (my school). When I heard that, I cringed in disbelief. For Pete's sake, he has only been studying in his new school (my future school!) for a few months, and it is his decision to study there. So why the sudden decision to change back? Was he unhappy? From what I can see, he seems content with everything there.

I thought it was a joke. Maybe he misses his friends. Yeah, that's probably it and anytime soon, he will go back and do his homework. But it was totally serious, and they actually discussed it with my mom. I was swearing inside me, a fire boiling inside me. =O How could he? Doesn't he know our mom tried hard to enrol him in his current school? And the school fees don't come cheap too - they cost my parents about a few thousand US dollars per semester. I was really disgusted. I even intended to slap him silly to wake him up from his daydream.

Hello, brother! Wake up? Are you being lazy? You don't enjoy staying in school until 3 p.m. and getting lots of homework? You missed the good old times when back in your former school, you go back at 1 p.m., you have little homework to do and you can spend most of the day playing those stupid games in your PC? What's wrong with you? I can't stand your lackadaisical attitude. Consider dropping school and go get a decent job.

He is such a spoilt brat! Heck, he asked for it. But he's not happy with his decision, so he wants to go to "the lesser of the two evils". I don't get it. I really wanted to barge in the discussion and tell him off but I held myself back. It isn't my business and I have more important matters to attend to, i.e. Biology.

I was so mad I had to force myself to meditate. It was kind of bad but I eventually got hold of myself. It wasn't until dinner when my mom told me about it.

Apparently, she was the one who enrolled him into that school. It wasn't really his decision. She thought the education there will suit my brother since he will be given more attention from the teachers. My mom told me my brother is "slow" in class, so she thought the school's environment would benefit him. When my mother asked him again, my brother actually disagreed her decision but nonetheless, she still enrolled him.

"So what was the reason of him disliking the school?" I asked my mom. I had a look through his school books (they were interesting, insightful and pretty engaging), so the syllabus wasn't the problem. I doubt the teachers were of a problem either since he never complained to me about them, nor the school.

It was the Caucasians. (No offense to anyone)

Or from what I gathered, it probably was culture shock.

According to my mom, the Caucasians in his school just act different. More confident, more flamboyant and definitely more outgoing. My brother isn't used to such people. He's scared. But as much as I want to understand, I can't. Because I do know his fellow classmates are far worse than that. They are unruly, mischievous and ... let's just say they don't provide a conducive environment to study.

Not only that, I also cannot empathise culture shock because I haven't experienced it much. Usually when I go overseas, I assimilate myself quickly with the people. So much so after my frequent visits to Australia, a close friend pointed out that I love to say "Yeahh..." in my Australian drawl (it doesn't! What's so Australian about that anyway? =P). She thought I was emigrating to Australia soon! =O =P

Honestly, at first, I was against my brother moving school because I feel it was completely unnecessary and redundant. Oddly enough, I am against my brother moving back to his former school again for the same reasons.

My mom even said that my brother was actually crying to go back. I tried telling myself it was all crocodile tears, but I can't believe myself either because my brother doesn't cry. So it's really strange. After hearing all that, I was feeling really confused. My initial hatred towards his "stupid decision" was quickly replaced by guilt. I misunderstood the situation. What have I done? If I were to act on my anger, boy, things would get really ugly.

So I decided on the best course to take to clear up any misunderstanding. I went to talk to him. I tried talking to him about it, but he remained quiet and focused on his homework instead. This really annoyed me. I was aware that I sounded quite frustrated and annoyed with him. I guess that really put him off. But I really can't help myself. That was bad.

He requested me to ask my elder brother instead. I insisted that I want to know from the horse's mouth. I persisted until he told me coldly, "I don't need your help."

That was it. I flared up. He did not need my help?! He resorted to my elder brother for advice instead? I was hurt, I was jealous and I was really angry. He really had no right to tell me that. Strangely, my emotions were quickly numbed. I couldn't feel anything after that. I left the room. I understood.

He is now a teenager. A reserved one who tells things to people whenever he is ready. Like me.

I keep forgetting about it. And melancholy strikes me.

I can't stand the fact that my little brother has grown up to be a teen - the crucial period when he defines himself... I then realise I'm not the only one in his life anymore. He had others, and because of that, I'm upset and jealous. I was always looked as the "big brother" whenever my elder brother isn't back home. I started to long for the time when he would run to me for help. =(

I'm not used to it. And I hate myself for not understanding and respecting him. To be honest, I still sometimes treat him like a dirtbag. I thought he was a child. He no longer is. He is more aware now.

What was worse is that I feel so bad for jumping to conclusions and wanting to slap him. Slap him! What right have I got to do that?! =( Then I understood. He is confused. He needed time to ponder about his decision, and I'm willing to give it to him. I won't ask him anymore until he is willing to share.

So this is what being reserved means. Keeping things to yourself and only sharing with those whom you trust. It sometimes hurts, especially to people who care about you and wanting to know more about you, but you're not willing to disclose your feelings and thoughts. It's not wrong. It's just that... oh, I don't know. Some may misinterpret it as closure and selfishness. But I don't think it's that. I think this is part of a reserved person's nature.

Like me.

Or maybe I'm misinterpreting the entire situation and his characteristics. =S But I just hope that whatever it is, he will make a wise and smart decision. As his brother, I will try to support him fully if it is for the better.

[+] There's more!

I have a family. They aren't perfect. Two of my family members have a fiery temperament.

My goodness, how I wish I were more proud and hold grudges against you two. It would make my life so much easier. I have to be such a nice guy. =(

You know what? They are family and I always love them both. Even though they can get on my nerves like once in a while. I can compromise. My mom can. I just wish my elder brother could (maybe he does and I'm not aware of it).

I wish I could write more, but I don't want to backstab my family. Not even here. I am feeling guilty even blogging about this. Man, this sucks! =P

Surprisingly, all is forgiven; grudges are forgotten. A long time ago already, even. The end. =)

EDIT 29 October 2007, 9:07 p.m.: Well, I did blog about it but I have hidden most of the blog post among comment tags. You can still view them, if you know how. =P I am feeling paranoid that one of my family members stumble upon this, and things wouldn't be really pretty. I was tossing and turning on my bed last night thinking of the consequences. Sorry, but I'm feeling a bit paranoid. =S

[+] There's more!

Everything is my mom, my mom, my mom! Arghhh! I can renew I.C. by myself and the man said you don't need the necessary documents which I think you store in the bank.

Why must you be away to perform religious duties at the time of my I.C. expiring? Do you want me to get fined for renewing at a later date which is only a few days. I'm sitting for 2 exams this Thursday and you won't be back until then. What if I am refused entry because my I.C. expired? You say it's okay, it's okay, just wait for me to come back, then we will renew it together. Man, I shall blame you if that happens for unnecessarily putting my future into jeopardy. Besides, I'm 17 and I am capable of doing this myself! =(

I hate to feel so dependent on people to carry out tasks! Oh, and the first process of renewing my I.C. sucks. There is no information given on where you can get registration forms and they aren't provided freely on the table. You have to request for it yourself personally. I dislike having to ask people for it. That is still alright. I didn't expect filling in a form, and so I didn't have a pen. Guess what the Immigration Department is lacking? Pens! =O

Since I did not have a pen and I do not know the necessary information (e.g. date of issue of birth certificate and passport, dad's citizenship certificate, my swear-in citizenship letter (?)), I had to go home to call my mom (forget about the expensive trunk calls!) up for the information and filling in the form.

Before that, I had to endure an hour plus for my transport, and I went hysteric at the Immigration Department. I was groaning and walking around looking for my car in vain. I was so angry because he had to come late (it wasn't his fault as there was a long line of people waiting) and I do not have a mobile phone! I'm so frustrated by the fact that I can't even place a simple phone call. Asking people around me to lend me their phones is out. In these days of paranoia, I could borrow and steal. That's the mentality. *sigh*

I was literally begging the air to magically give me a mobile phone. I even thought of resorting boarding the bus and go to the nearest commercial hub and get myself a cheap US$70 mobile phone! The public phone is out of question. None receives cash; only phone cards. Eeyaghh!

I went ballistic and I was at tethers of crying because I had no transport to go home! =( I'm stuck at some place and there isn't anything I can do. I feel helpless, and I hate feeling helpless. I nearly admitted myself into a mental institution when the car finally came. Unfortunately, I was a bit rude with the driver and I shouldn't have acted that way because it wasn't anyone's fault technically.

My mom had the guts to tell me to postpone renewing my I.C. Thanks so much. =( Why do you had to make me I.C. a month after my 12th birthday? You could have done that at most 2 weeks from then. Probably this will never happen. And you never guided me through the process. So here I am, stuck and not knowing what to do. And I wasted so much time renewing my I.C. for nothing.

MAN, THIS SUCKS! =( I have to wait for a few more days.

I'm running out of patience. This cannot wait.

[+] There's more!

It's bad enough that I have dry lips and have to rely on using a lip balm. Why must that accident have to happen? I shouldn't have brought that lip balm stick to school, let alone put it in the same pocket as my handkerchief. I shouldn't have gone down to eat! =O It's so embarrassing!

Must one of the two girls have to go all the way to my other blog and ask such a personal question? She left a message, "Do I use a lip balm?". Yeah, obviously, since you have already seen it with your eyes. As much as I wished it wasn't an illusion, it wasn't. It projects an impression that I, a guy, is metrosexual. I don't worry about my appearance excessively! I wished I have no dry lips. On that day, I must bring that stick to school and put it in the pocket. Woe is me!

I'm very embarrassed. How am I supposed to answer it? Tell the whole world that I depend on it? I'll be laughed at! Even at this moment, I can feel the malicious gossip about me spreading from one person to another, as if acting rather feminine isn't bad enough. Maybe I should just delete her message, but that would make things worse by indirectly denying it. I could say I have dry lips, but I sound really ridiculous and people will laugh at me and call me names. =(

It's stupid! Ahhhhh! Why me? =O I feel really self-conscious now.

I was in a mood to study after I came back from lunch but after seeing that message, I lost my motivation. I started worrying and despite genetics being an interesting topic, I kept thinking about her message. I wished she asked me privately instead of online.

I really don't know what to do now... =( Stupid lips!

[+] There's more!

I did not live very happily these past few days. Sure, there are definitely the happy times, but they were overshadowed by rage, fury and disappointment. A few days ago when the school prefects organised a sports event for the student body, an ungrateful wretch made a poignant attack on our efforts. He alleged that the prefects had cheated in an event as he figured the referees who were us played favouritism and declared us the victor. As one of the referees, it was clear that we did not do that and we aren't that desperate to sink so low to help our team. =( How dare he directed such accusations to us! I began to think he had issues against us prefects. To add insult to injury, he threatened that his team will ensure that the prefects will not score a shot in the upcoming basketball game. It's easy for me to shrug it off were it a joke. It was clear that he meant that intently. I shot him a deadly glare when he looked back to his team mates, cursing silently that he will be sorry with what he had just said.

I hate to say this, but at that instant, I developed a strong hatred feeling towards him and his stupid society. His team was actually a "society" (something like a fraternity/sorority?) formed by a couple of students. *rolls eyes* It's pretty ironic how I disliked the society so much as a whole when he slated the prefects. I shouldn't have felt that way. That was pretty low of me.

Many minutes later, the basketball match between the prefects and his society began. It was clear that the other team was trying to play rough to intimidate the prefects. It didn't look friendly to me. Suddenly, in the middle of game play, one of the prefects hit into the person mentioned above and they both succumbed to injury! The egoistic guy had a big cut on his eyebrow and blood was gushing out. Immediately, my guilty conscience was eating my insides. Had my hatred somehow caused the injury? I suddenly felt scared as I did not intend on this to happen. It was so scary it happened not too long after he spilled out his nasty words. =|

I was then subbed in to the game, and the game resumed. I can feel the negative vibes emerging from the other team. I then remembered his words that they are out to get us. Anger began to cloud my thoughts and I wasn't concentrating on the game. I haphazardly chased after the ball with the thought that I will not let the other team get it. That was pretty much impossible because it was obvious that my team mates and I are not seasoned players! I tried my best anyway with my anger fueling my determination. It was not the way it should be. As a result, I wasn't playing my best (since when was I good anyway?).

We lost anyway but we managed to walk away with 2 - 10+ points. Hah! At least we proved that cocky guy wrong. We got 2 shots! We're not as worthless as he thinks. The thing is, I have no idea why I was "quite sensitive" to his comments. It's not like I, or we, have done anything wrong, right? Sometimes, I do tend to wonder whether it is wise to do the right thing while the community has a different negative viewpoint.

Up until today, I still am somewhat affected by his lashes. I know it is insignificant now and I have nothing to do with it, but hearing it first-hand is an entirely different thing. Subconsciously, I probably am taking him rather seriously. I know I am so much better than him in so many ways, yet why must I succumb now and listen to him? I just don't get it! It's affecting my work performance (I have to finish my computer coursework for O Levels this weekend). I am bothered! =(

When my best friend came to console me and warned me that there are more evil people out there who will make biting remarks to me to purposely hurt me, I began to worry. I thought to myself that if I can't handle his comments, what more of other people who may hurl meaner and nastier insults to me?

Yesterday before a dinner for prefects, I was complaining to my maid that I can't find my long-sleeve shirt. I hate myself for being rude to her; I could have just asked her nicely where it is. The worse thing is that I found it on my brother's wardrobe by myself. It was so embarrassing! I was glad she said no more after that. I thank her for it. I should have gone to prepare for dinner earlier.

While I was at dinner, I was trying to get close to a certain prefect I am eying on recently. The way I tried to cross over the boundary of friendship into the unknown is a bit too rushy. So, I covertly followed around her and "annoy" her as much as possible without making it too obvious. After some time, when she is engrossed into the part, I have the feeling that I have been annoying. So I went to another close friend of mine and try to get her attention. I then stopped doing it when I have the feeling I have been a bit too annoying. It happened while I was IM-ing this person just now. I can't believe I can be so annoying at times. I should learn to keep my mouth shut at times!

There is still an issue which bothers me a little. The primary concern now is the computer coursework. I have barely completed 50% of the project, and I have to try and finish everything up by this weekend! I really doubt my abilities now. And yes, last minute rush again. When will I ever learn!

By the way, do anyone of you know something about Microsoft Access functions? I have a problem with it, and I need help on it! =( I have to apologize for blogging less frequently now. I got my hands tied up on my education and especially that computer coursework! =(

[+] There's more!

My little brother drives me really mad at times. Today was especially bad!

We were playing the monkey game with our neighbours. I noticed my brother was acting like some big show-off and being a tough game the entire time, when playing a game of basketball and the monkey game. It all happened very quickly: He tossed the ball hard and just right into my very face and it hit my glasses. My glasses suddenly became deformed and was loosened, and one of the lenses came off too. The whole contraption dropped to the floor.

I was enraged because I wasn't in a very good mood at that time (I'll explain later) and his attitude of playing basketball and that "accident" made me snapped. I was scolding him for being so rough with the ball and I blamed him for wrecking my glasses (thank goodness mine is durable, but I was very concerned about it at that time). Guess what that jerk said?

"Who asked you to wear glasses? Eh!"

It's not my fault if I'm so short-sighted. I hate it when my glasses are disturbed like that. I fear my lens would shatter and the pieces piercing my eyeball. And I fear breaking my glasses because without them, I'm very blur. For your information, my spherical lens prescription for my right eye is -5.00, while my left eye is -5.25. That's very bad. =(

I flamed up! I went up to him, pushed him and called foul names to him (you don't want to know what I called him). I couldn't control myself. I was in a horrible mood already and furthermore, he added insult to injury. I yelled at him, I made him come look for my glasses. And he stormed off! That big baboon!

All this happened in front of my neighbours. It was so embarrassing and the commotion made the situation horribly awkward. I quickly walked back to my house uttering that I'll come back tomorrow and play and immediately stormed up to let my mother know of the unpleasant news.

My brother with his sucky attitude made a cacophony of noises, banged doors and shouted profanities.

Ughhh! I wished I could blog more but I need to revise the essentials for tomorrow's Chemistry practical exam. Keep watch of this blog post.

I'm so mad with him and his cocky attitude, but I'm quite ashamed of myself too for reacting in such a negative way and getting "international attention". =\


Addendum: 26 May, 2007, 23:25

What happened before this (and this ruined my mood) was that my neighbour was being a pest and he was constantly calling my house telephone just to remind me to go to his house and play basketball. I'm pretty much annoyed because I honestly didn't feel like going there due to personal reasons. There are two things that I cannot tolerate: telephone rings and incessant ringing doorbells! Telephone rings usually mean trouble to me. I developed an averse reaction to it. This happened when I was in Year 9 when the whole class had to complete a Computer Studies coursework for the public examinations and a quite a number of my classmates had constantly bugged me about how to do their projects. I mean, hello, why ask me? Why don't you ask our teacher? What makes you think I have all the time in the world to spoonfeed you and complete your project on your behalf. It IS annoying! The worse thing is that this happens everyday, particularly when the deadline was looming near.

That is why I have no intention of having a mobile phone. It's stupid, it's pointless and there exists the formerly MSN Messenger where I could be reached. Did I mention I hate the ringing telephone sound. Kring kring! Kring kring! And some other modern telephone rings that you have, e.g. Nokia ringtone, the standard Ring Ring to your musical ringtone from some music. I totally despise them, especially when they are addressed to me.

Somehow, this affected my tolerance with ringing doorbells too. I associate it with trouble.

So when the doorbell gave its loud shrill constantly, I blew up because I couldn't stand the noise. Naturally, I blamed my brother as he is the only one who is capable of doing it (he has a weird style of ringing doorbells continuously). My mother was pretty stressed about my anger and she told me that my neighbours were the culprit, not my brother. I was very embarrassed and being angry did not help either. =(

My mother gave me a lecture of the importance of exercise and the need to entertain my neighbours who took the pain and trouble of constantly reminding me to go to his house. This went on to no man should be an island (however the phrase goes =S ). It's not that I don't like playing basketball with my neighbours. I just cannot stand their cocky attitude, especially the eldest brother of that family who is a few years my junior. Just because he's the best basketball player of his level, it doesn't mean that he is granted the right to play rough and/or unfairly, or to find the faults of the players whenever he knows he is losing (the extreme kiasuism). I'm alright with his younger sibling, I just can't stand his attitude.

I wanted to tell my mother that but I decided against it as it might prolong the lecture and she might say, "Different people have different attitudes - just bear with it!". Okay, maybe I'm selfish. My mom is right that we sometimes have to please people because they have taken the trouble to invite us everytime. On the other hand, during a Christian religious knowledge lesson, we were told the story of a neighbour who constantly walks to school with his neighbour every morning without fail, until the affected party was sick and tired of walking with him. That's exactly how I feel. I need the space and time away from basketball. I just want to be left alone!

In the end, I shrugged and I hesitated to join my neighbour. I couldn't just show up there wearing a black face and ruin their game, just because I "have a bad mood, I'm showing you my black face so that you will know not to piss me off"! =\ Sadly, I still do that at times (or many times). Nah! I sat in the sofa and wait for time to pass while I sit down there and contemplate my feelings before setting off for another game. I grumbled and I mumbled and I threw some undecipherable baby words.

Somehow during my mother's lecture, she told me that my dad suffers from a minor high blood pressure while she found out that there's something wrong about her breast. It worried me because my parents are the healthiest people I ever know, especially my mother. I was shocked to learn of this fact. Their old age didn't help either. =( Furthermore, my mom had trouble with her office as she realised she has lost a couple of clients in the past years and she's struggling to resolve things. I'm so sorry that I had to trouble her yesterday...

That worsened my mood.

When I was able to drag myself to my neighbour's house, I was already in a fragile state. I perked up when I came to learn that the elder son was not at home for a few days' time and I am so happy because this means I can have loads of fun with my neighbour's kids! =D So I joined in the game. And I noticed that my brother was trying to act cool and all, and he was being a horrible, selfish and conceited team member as he completely disregarded his team member who is the little girl neighbour in kindergarten.

Then, the above had happened.

I was so mad I barged into my parents' room and raised my complain! My mother quickly went down and called my little brother out of the room. Then we were lectured, again! I got twice in one day. That day just couldn't get any better...

Apparently, my brother's actions were accidental. I refused to believe it because he did not apologized to me at all the whole time. I assumed he premeditated his actions. Again I was shocked to realise my possible mistake and I got even angrier and tried to tell my mom in vain that it is not my fault, and that he did it in purpose. His actions following the accident were very provocative; surely it was more than an accident?

Then my mom came to the conclusion that we are spoiled brats!

Of course, I was enraged. I'm not spoilt! And I refuse to believe it. It's very rare that I complain about every single, itty bitty thing that does not please me. I believe that was more than an itty bitty thing. And she said that we turned a small matter into a huge matter. Correction: it's him!

Who was the one who banged the door when I scolded my brother for being careless and having a sharp tongue? Not me... HIM!

Argh!!!!

Fine. I never owned up that I called my brother a bastard for his actions. I'm so sorry to say that. I know I was chickening out for not admitting that mistake too. IT probably might have hurt his feelings and sent him haywire. Because I sounded that I mean it. At that time, I meant what I said. I know I am such a bad brother. But yeah. I was very annoyed that my spectacles was destroyed in the process. He can toss the ball at any part of my body without igniting me except my head, my face, my spectacles, my neck and especially my vital private parts.

I was very paranoid that my lenses could shatter right in front of my own eyes (despite the very low chance of it occuring) and and glasses frame becoming distorted. I rely heavily on my glasses and I treat it with lots of care. He knows it (this isn't the first time he disturbed my glasses), so why wasn't he careful with it?

As my mom continued lecturing, I suddenly became very disappointed with my brother's sucky attitude. So I broke down and cried because he isn't the same person I know anymore. He is this cold, heartless creature who is influenced by a few of his idiotic acquaintances to become an egoistic, macho-istic and and chauvinistic person. Is this the same brother I know a few years back?

My mom suggested that we have received no canings from her, and that probably explains our wild behaviour. I was shocked and scared that she might really cane us. Her words are enough to puncture my heart. I shudder to wonder what sort of gigantic damage a beating could do.

Despite the incredibility of some of her lecture, somehow they were all true. Maybe I am spoilt and being a whiny, stupid kid who complains at his mother about something my little brother did. Maybe I am just a selfish person who wants nothing but to spend time with himself alone. It's not that. I think I am misunderstood. Despite the extrovert qualities I might display, I don't open up to people unless I'm very close to him/her and sadly, my parents are not included. =(

I have my own perceptions about things and I don't intend to share them with people I know. I keep them to me, myself and I (and with this blog and you guys), thank you. I know this is very selfish of me, but sometimes I can't help it. I'm just like that.

Do I sound spoilt? Am I selfish? Was what I did right? Please, I really need your honest, judgemental answers so that I can correct whatever mistakes I have made and better myself...

After some time had passed and I calmed down a little from my crying (I still can't believe at this age, I'm so prone to crying =(), I went up to my mother and apologized for ruining her day. She looked really tired and stressed out and I sincerely was very sorry for making it worse for her. I also apologized to my neighbour for creating such a scene - that was very immature of me.

I didn't talk to my brother after that. I thought I might never again (maybe until his birthday). Until this morning when I realized I forgot to bring my calculator with me for my Chemistry practicals. I sighed. I had to ask my brother despite the situation - I can't possibly borrow from anyone else.

Put it simply, I had no choice and I wasn't going to keep my pride intact while sacrificing my marks. No way. It's too stupid. So, I inhaled deeply and courageously asked for a calculator.

He did gave me his. And he apologized as he heavily vandalized the screen of his calculator. I told him it didn't really matter. What matters the most is I can still read the screen and operate the calculator properly. Our small chat ended there. We somehow took it as a mutual understanding to put yesterday in the past and to move on in life.

......

*sigh* Brothers. Family members. Despite the fight, we somehow got back in track although it's a slow recovery.

It really surprises me how easily we (family members) can forgive and forget. =) *blinks away tears* I guess this is the power of love.

[+] There's more!

Basketball players are selfish, arrogant bastards!

I hated basketball and I always will. No, not because I hate the game. It is the players which make the game seems so barbaric and senseless, with cries of fouls thrown everywhere and hurls of taunts and insults thrown everywhere.

Something happened just now which enrages me. My ball hit a kid's head slightly and I apologized to him for being careless with it. The game proceeded as usual but it looked like my neighbour was fussy about who will have the ball first. He wanted to follow NBA's official rules by shooting for the ball (it's like as if we all want to be NBA players). I think it's unnecessary since after many tries, both the players were unable to shoot the ball into the hoop from the three-point line, so he and my teammate made the decision by playing "O-U-T" and since it failed to be the deciding factor also, they played a game among themselves to see who shoots the ball into the hoop.

Can't they have some bloody sense and settle it by playing "Rock-Paper-Scissors"? This game isn't some official and grand international basketball competition. I see no need to be so fussy, plus it's taking up precious time. I lack the patience too to just wait for these VIPs (or "MVPs" for that matter). *rolls eyes*

After a long time of waiting, the game finally begun. Everything flowed "smoothly" *cough* and as the game proceeds, it stopped temporarily with a goal shot by the other team. Fair enough. It so happened that one of the kids was taking his break by sitting down very near to the basketball hoop stand.

As the ball went into the hoop, my brother ran and caught it directly under the hoop and guess what? One of my blinking idiotic teammate rushed to my brother and push the ball away from my brother's hands. The ball flew up and it made a hard impact on the kid's head!

The kid immediately crouched and covered his head, wincing in pain. At first, I thought he was trying to be funny and gain sympathy from me but as I looked at him still crouching, I realised he wasn't playing around and he was really in pain. Meanwhile, my teammate blamed my brother for catching the ball under the hoop. Naturally, my brother defended himself, since it wasn't his fault! I was staring at the two of them, staring in disbelief how smug some people can really be by putting the blame on someone else as a means of lame defense! =O

My brother and I gathered around him and asked him how he was feeling or not. I cannot believe I refuse to get the message that he's really in pain, yet I kept on asking him whether he is fine or not when my conscience uttered a long "Duh!". I even crouched down and saw him in tears, crying from the pain. I pitied the little boy to have double accidents within an hour; on his head too! =(

As I was trying to attend to him, the rest of the four players have the cheek to continue the game, as if nothing had really happened. Of all the nerve! I called for a time out and my neighbour approached me and asked me for the reason. Isn't it obvious? They continued playing anyway, despite the fact that they know he was in pain.

I tried calling for his brother but I got an unpleasant surprise when he said "Leave him alone.". What an egoistic brother! On the other hand, I told myself maybe it happened most of the time and he will end up feeling okay. The matter is that his head was injured and heaven knows what might happened after the (un-)intentional accident.

It was only after some time later did my neighbour come to the rescue and finally utter wise words. I know nothing about first aid, so he instructed me to massage his head with my palm. I did and he winced in pain of course. That kid later told me to remove my hand as it was painful. So I released my hand while my neighbour told me that maybe I can massage the injured part later when he comes to his senses.

The kid then told my brother and I to let him relax there while we resume the game. I joined in first and suddenly there was a cry of foul (I think) because I joined in the game! I was shocked again! Wasn't I already in the game? My neighbour spoke foolish words, "3 against 2 isn't fair!"

What? Wasn't my brother in this game. I asked him and he shook his head, saying "No" as he stood next to the kid. Sheesh, I can't believe the fear of losing run deep in his vein, just because I am tall! Hello, I have a disadvantage here too: I am not skilled in basketball. In your language: I suck at b-ball! They cancel each other out!

I lost my top at that time. I turned my head and walked away, announcing bitterly that I am going home since I was not needed anymore! Talk about teamwork and sportsmanship! I just realised what true friends they are (yeah right, I knew that a long time ago)! The stupid rascals did not even bother about my leaving.

I don't too.

I was so ready to burst into flames there and then. I tried to suppress it temporarily. As I walked back to my house, I swore and criticised their arrogance and selfishness. Deep inside me, I was hoping they could hear what I said, even though that would only stir up trouble.

And the kid? Forget it! His brother can "nurse" him back.

I was insulted as a bookworm too by them long before this happened since a new friend asked me what sports I "like" as I don't play basketball often. I let that insult slip. I have heard worse insults.

But this...is unforgivable. How can you not get mad at their bratty attitudes?

Such people smear the good name and fun of basketball. They made it into a sport meant for barbarians to play. Tell me, was it wrong of me to "over-react" over someone's injury? Was it wrong of them to not care about an injured player?

I say it again, they are selfish creeps with totally big egos that's just asking to be burst! I am tempted to insult a race and the entire basketball community but nah.

ARRRGGHHHHHH!!!! =(

Forget about neighbourliness! I don't look forward to have another basketball match with them anymore.

[+] There's more!

My brother committed a grave mistake. In his fury, he condemned a religion and its God in a tagboard at my other board. Fortunately, there were few responses to his tag, but it devastated me. How could my brother committed such idiotic and major sin of putting the damn on other people's religion? I know he did not purposely do it, but still....

I am so confused and lost in my own angry thoughts. I need sleep... I really hope this matter could be resolved tomorrow.

[+] There's more!

For the second time, my work played second fiddle. It was replaced by someone else's work which, in my (biased) opinion, lacks the interest and creativity. I feel that this is unfair on my part. Here I am in the magazine committee contributing virtually nothing to the creation of a mini-magazine (not the prefects' magazine below) and my work goes unappreciated. How? By dragging it to the Recycle Bin icon and replaced with a "professional-looking" cover page.

I know my skills in Adobe Photoshop is not as good as the Prefect Head's skills, but I myself knew that mine wasn't on the border of terror either. We were staying back many days to rush through this magazine as it was to be sent to the printer the next day. With a blur leader heading the committee, I'm not surprised that the sudden urgency of finishing this magazine as the due date approaches suddenly surfaced. The committee members (with one absent) together with the Prefect Head (a.k.a. Boss) put their hands together and made the best effort in finishing the magazine on time.

I requested the Boss that I will do on the cover, and she nodded her head. My colleague and I then brainstormed for ideas (taking nearly an hour) before we got it. I was pleased that the outcome of the brainstorm was an ingenious and nifty-looking front cover, very sure that it would intrigue anyone holding the little magazine on his hand.

I thought the Boss would like it as I felt it was a unique idea. I know you guys are wondering why show it to her instead of the committee leader? He was blur and he did not know what was going on and apparently the Boss adopted the position of the committee leader during that dire situation. In other words, it was understood that the committee leader was "simply there to signify his presence" while all the real managing was done by the Boss. The thing I don't understand was why the leader wasn't lectured by her to get things running! (If I were in his position last year, boy, I would be fried instantly.)

So I explained the conception of the image to her. She nodded her head and moved on to the editor-cum-designer who she taught to use Adobe Illustrator (I don't know whether it was the appropriate program, but it did the trick) and gave in her general input and ideas on the overall magazine design.

She helped to do parts of the magazine while the editor and I were busy twiddling with our respective tasks. The other one went home while the lax leader was frolicking about. Anyway, after some time, after getting some input from the Boss and the other committee members, I finished designing the cover (I thought it looked interesting).

To my utter disbelief, she HATED it! Her stupid critic eye scanned fervently for mistakes in my art, i.e. it looked too "informal" for a magazine, inappropriate photos, bad layout etc. I was slightly peeved off by her critical remarks but I kept my cool as I knew I won't be doing any good. She then apologised and told me that she can't help but be a perfectionist when it comes to art and hence, the need to be critical, further hinting how much better she could do.

Goodness gracious! It's the last moment, sister! There's no more time to be a 'Little Miss Perfectionist'. Wasn't mine at least decent enough to pass off as a front cover for the mini magazine? At it was nearly time for me to go home, I told her that I could redo it and send the file via e-mail or Windows Live Messenger or something. She reminded me that the file would too big and there wouldn't be ample time to send over and her later editing it. I forgot to asked her that I could send the JPEG file but I don't think she'll like it. I even offered to do it myself at home and pass her the file tomorrow. She didn't want that.

I did not relent and asked her whether I can be of anymore assistance to her. I honestly disliked not contributing at least something to the magazine and my front cover wasn't a good enough guarantee as she might create a totally new cover and dispose of mine. She told me that I gave all the helped needed and requested me to go. After few more minutes of persuading for work (I think I was a fool to do that, I don't think anyone asks for that!), she told me to help unplug her pen drive from my workstation.

I took her reactions as her hint and begrudgingly, I left the dark computer laboratory, leaving her alone in her solitude and let the creative juice possess her entire body and create beautiful computer art that even Leonardo da Vinci bows down his head in shame! I'm so sorry, but I offered to redo my work if needed. She stingingly told me not to worry about anything and that she can do it herself. HERSELF! I'm not surprised if she stayed up until 2 a.m. just to finish doing my cover and the whole magazine. I thought she asked for it.

Coming from a pseudo-perfectionist, perfectionists like her drive people insane! I don't get why she could not accept the committee members' imperfect work and maybe help modify their work if she "cannot stand it". I mean, I sacrificed my time just to help create the magazine even though we were in the midst of tests. I sincerely contributed my full attention and interest to create that "crap" and this is what I get in return? Shoving all my work away to make way for the best work just because it's too imperfect? I even got the opinions from my fellow colleagues and they said it was alright (don't know whether it was a white lie or not).

The Boss is also my friend as well, and I know she did not mean to imply this, but she insulted my work in a way. I don't like people insulting my work when I take the trouble to ensure that it is of a good quality and dedicating my time into doing the tasks thoroughly. I don't mind constructive criticisms though, at least I know which areas need to be addressed and improved.

Her actions make it seem the whole magazine thing was a one-man show; she did mostly everything (besides the editor's work). And I feel that my colleagues, including the leader, do not deserve the credits at all, especially me since I did virtually nothing! My work appeared no where in the magazine.

In other words, my work goes unappreciated. I feel that my existence at that day was not needed. I could have stayed at home and do something relaxing or study Chemistry and increase my chances of getting better grades. Unfortunately, I have to do this redundant job!

I wish I could say this is my first time experiencing it, but this is not. In fact last year, the same thing happened. It's like deja vu all over again! Last year, the scenario was this: I procrastinated my presentation during an inter-school visit and in the end did an okay-ish presentation which is decent enough to be presented. Sadly, I was bombarded for doing it at the last minute and from the moment onwards, I hated my other Boss. The "replacement" presentation, on the other hand, was worse than mine! Ohhh! During the inter-school visit, I was anxious and scared to see the replacement, and when everything was over, I felt like punching the Boss's face! He wasted my effort and energy put into my better presentation.

This is so frustrating! I hate these sort of things to happen. Looking at the mini magazine I have on the table now, I am tempted to steal a lighter and burn into ashes, and pound and grind the ashes into bitsy dust which are then sent to the incinerator.

*sigh* Leaders... So hard to please. To make matters worse, some enslave their subjects and subject them under his tyrannical control, and some simply do all the work for their subjects whose existence may very well be eradicated.

P.S. Sorry for the sarcasms in this blog post.

Anyway, to go off topic, I won't be around this weekend as I have to cross the border for an excursion. I'll be back blogging on Monday or Tuesday. *grin*

[+] There's more!

Yesterday, I was unlucky enough to meet two very angry people. Luckily, I was able to keep my cool despite their anger influencing my unstable emotions. It wasn't a pretty sight, and I tried to cool them down.

The first fuming person who I encountered was my team mate in an inter-school competition finals. It was about some computer studies quiz which was pretty tough even for the participants, and the audience there. So this girl here, my team mate, answered questions (in MCQ form) directed at her wrongly. In fact, she didn't managed to answer all of them correctly and she was unable to buzz in quick enough for the speed round. In short, she felt she has let her school down horribly and disappointed with her performance. Her anguish very quickly turned into anger and I think she started to blame herself as our school got last position in the finale, but third nationwide.

I don't blame her for messing up badly on the real day. I really sympathized for her as the questions directed at her were pretty tough, even my brain couldn't process an answer. It was bad, hard really. There was one question which every computer student should know, but she couldn't answer that. It was ironic that she was enrolled into the finals by a computer teacher at my school although she didn't take up Computer Studies. She even questioned that herself. But I think that the computer teacher knows that she has the potential and ability to remember all the computer facts (just because she was competent with HTML, CSS, some Flash and Adobe Photoshop).

So after the result was announced, we went off the stage formally. A staff there ushered us to an exit which no one took except for us. Her face "scrunched up" into many frowns and I was starting to worry that she was about to blow! She hit the door that leads to another room with her fist, pretty strongly in fact. Thank goodness she didn't hurt herself. I can only do nothing but keep quiet and try not to worry too much about her as it was normal for people to let out their frustrations that way. Knowing her tempers, I was surprised that it sort of escalated to that level. Later on, I tried to console her by telling her not to worry too much about it, that everything that we were stressing so much about is over etc. It didn't quite work as she had totally fogged up her thoughts with anger. At least she still can control her temper and talk quite normally, except that she was more frank, direct and a bit rude.

I tried consoling her from time to time after the competition, and I think it sort of worked. She slowly cooled herself down and slowly recovered, although I knew deep inside, she was still worked up. Luckily, our teachers didn't say much. At least they didn't expected so much!

Seeing her getting worked up at how much she messed up the quiz, I can't help but remember what happened many years ago when I was in Primary 5. I could almost relate my experience to hers. It was during an inter-school Maths competition finals. Sadly, I was able to answer one question on the real day and even that question was answered with the help secretly offered by my team mate (he wasn't supposed to as it was an individual round, and no team discussion is allowed). I just stared and blinked for the whole of the competition. It was really embarrassing. I feel so useless on that day. It made the courses on mental arithmetic that I took redundant, and it sort of knocked on my confidence for Mathematics. My school won anyway, no thanks to me.

The next year, I was once again invited or rather "forced" to join the competition but I backed off this time. I knew I wasn't capable for such mathematical-intensive competitions. Indirectly, I told the teacher-in-charge that I express no intention to join on that year. That angered him, and he told me that he would give me several days to think through it. When the days were up, I got pretty scared and somehow I went to toilet and that was the time he came to my class to look for me. I wasn't there, and I remember one of my friends telling me that he was really really mad and even cursed me (or something less harsher, I really don't know). I have never felt so intimidated in my life. He never forced me to join again, as he can't do anything anymore. That really make me start to dislike Maths even more and I felt quite incompetent when it comes to doing calculations. I tried avoiding meeting him as I walk past him. It was scary I tell you. Lucky for me I moved to my present school the next year, and I can't tell you how very relieved I am of not seeing him again.

So yes, I can relate myself to her situation. Teachers who expect things highly from us make situations worse, but fortunately for her, it wasn't really the case. She's okay now, and I'm glad that she is!


The second person who got enraged yesterday was my very own little brother. According to him, he got mad because his online game kept 'lagging' (he kept putting the blame on the Internet connection, but I blame the game's server/spyware/adware) and he got disconnected several times. Finally, his patience running thin, he acted up and hit on his keyboard and system unit very hard. I didn't know what had came to him until he came to my room frowning and in a state of depression and tried in vain the game again with my mother's laptop. I guessed that it didn't work as he stormed out again to watch TV. I scolded him for getting angry over little things. I should have kept my mouth shut.

He wasn't feeling entertained of course. When it was time to go out and cycle, he went out and cycled very very slowly in a bad mood. It was a very endearing seeing my brother who is normally cheerful and happy to be very angry over a game. He's a violent kind of person actually, but he sometimes ensure that his temper is kept in check. I dare not or rather was too lazy to console him, but I was worried about him at the same time. I ended up chatting with him online even though he was a few inches away using the laptop. I felt more comfortable chatting with him than confronting him and asking what's wrong. Eventually, he found other things to entertain himself and he then forgot what got him so worked up!

It's really interesting but scary (of course!) to see how people let out their anger. Some hit on something, some like to shout out, some like to cuss and swear constantly (mantra to cure anger), some rather suppress it and hope the anger would go away (like me), some show anger on their face and stay silent throughout their anger (like me), some like to scapegoat (like me), some spill out their anger on their friends and close ones (like me) and some even want to chronicle their anger on their diary/blog (like me!). I know one who tried to smile when she is angry!

How many times did that 'like me' phrase appear? *chuckle*

Anger isn't a very nice feeling to experience, and it's not fun to encounter angry people. I wish I know how to cool people down from their flared anger. I couldn't really do that, and more often than not it only made them more angry! I can get angry pretty easily too, even over the most menial things, I admit. But now, I try to control my anger and make sure they don't affect the people around me but I fail sometimes.

Being angry means that anger can cloud your sane consciousness and you might do really stupid or foolish things that you will end up regretting later. It happened to me a few times.

But then it's only human to be angry, isn't it? Patience is the key to manage one's anger. I salute to those who can do so! I can't! Hehe...

[+] There's more!

I'm kind of peeved that the web browsers in my PC kept on crashing for no reason, and thus the blog post that I have written is lost forever. And I have to retype everything again. Luckily, I didn't say much over there. Let's hope my mom's laptop I'm using now can last.

I'm sorry for not blogging for about a week or so. I wasn't home from Wednesday to Saturday as I went out of country to Sabah for a school holiday excursion trip. It was really fun. And for these past few days, I wasn't really in a mood to blog nor even bother to complete my 50 000 worded novel. That's bad. I feel so unmotivated to come back and find out that I'm already a few thousand words behind the recommended milestone I should achieve, and now it's getting worse. I'm already 10 000 words behind! It's frustrating really, and November is about to reach its 3rd week.

In this blog post, I want to vent out some of the frustrations I had yesterday from chatting with a certain girl. I shall give you some background knowledge on her. Two years ago, I had had quite a crush on this girl and set up a rendezvous with her at the library. In the presence of my best friend (I brought him along to give me moral support), I told her I like her, and she fled the scene. And I was heartbroken of course, as I took it as a sign that she didn't fancy me. So gradually, my feelings towards her slowly dwindle down even though we still remain as friends.

This year, she moved to another school and I remained in my school happily living my life. It was only a few months ago that she IM-ed me, finally telling me that she did indeed like me, but it was really too late for me, us to do anything because I totally have no more feelings for her. I appreciate the fact that she found the courage to tell me after all these years but I wonder what her intention was. She told me all this after she poured over her dilemma to me, saying that some guy 2 years younger than her fancied her, even loved her (talk about instant romance development). So she asked me for advice and I couldn't really give any proper ones because I have never ever experienced having a girlfriend yet. I do have a couple of crushes, but somehow, nothing work (I'm doomed to be a bachelor LOL!).

So I told her to dump him asap, seeing that she doesn't even like that guy and doesn't even know him that well(she knew him through her friend's friend). I really don't know why but she obligingly stuck by to him for a couple of months as she dare not break up with him although I have told her countless times to do so. She kept updating me with the news of how she was still with him and to be honest, I really am bored with hearing it and told her the same thing: break up with him.

She finally did recently, but the poor lovesick boy pestered her by miss calling her. It's sad, really. I wonder if he got the message that the girl doesn't like him. It takes two hands to clap, you know. Yesterday, she went on to tell me how busy she is now after her exams; she took part in many many academic competitions because she wanted her "sports house to win". I admit that it sound really impressive, although deep inside me I was jealous of her. You see, we used to be academic rivals. She took the top spot of the class while I am just behind her.

She got herself into such a busy mess, right? So why, oh why, does she have to rely on me to give her the points for her debate and her speech? I don't get it, she IS indeed smarter than me, so why does she rely on me instead of herself? I know I sound like a selfish guy and not being a very good altruist, but hey, I think she doesn't want to move that big brain of hers up there. Ha, you know what's worse? She decided to call me this Sunday (or some day) and expect answers from me. Whoah, that's getting a little bit too much ma'am!

I don't know why this time, she didn't want to pester other people besides me. I have noticed that she had started to take advantage of me last year (although not as much as others) by copying my homework, asking for help and do her academical whims and whams. Is it because she still thinks I am in love with her? No way, no more!

Okay, this sucks. I don't even know what I'm rambling about. I just don't want to help her at all, since it's her problem not mine! I might help her a little bit if only she already has come up with points and wants my suggestions for more.

In the end, we came to that "agreement" and I closed the chat window. I was busy chatting with some other friends online when suddenly, her window popped up, saying "HEY DARLING, PLEASE HELP ME!" I should be flattered, but I'm more grossed out and I feel even more compelled to not help her. So I was about to tell her off when she said that it was her friend who typed. I was pretty much enraged, but I kept those to myself. First of all, why does she tell her friend who I don't know that she used to like a guy who liked her? Her friend even called me by my name. And her friend went on to ask me what my fancy MSN handle means when I sort of ignored her because I don't get what she was talking about. Arrogantly, she quickly concluded that I don't even know what it means. Hello? I know what it means okay, I just don't get what you're typing! I felt such like an idiot, and was about to ignore both of them when she said bye. So bye, *@#$%!

What am I supposed to do when she calls me? Ignore her? Help her? Say "I havent't thought of anything yet?" (planning to use this excuse)? Arghhh, I'm so frustrated! Since when has her debate became my debate. I feel like a fool. And then on that day itself, her pleading voice might swoon me all over again.

Maybe it's the holiday bug that bit me.

Or not.

I don't feel like getting involve with her life anymore. I know that's pretty mean and drastic and she didn't do anything to "hurt" me. I don't know. Somehow, deep inside me, I just dislike her...

I hope she wouldn't keep to her word and so don't call me. Or even worse, come to my house and ask for help. I would not answer the door but my mom would be there and she will make me entertain and help my guests.

This is stupid...Help?

[+] There's more!

To you, an IGNORANT Additional Maths student:

Stop dissing Geography! Seriously, I don't get you! Yes, you! I can't stand it if you continue your incessant nonsensical rambles about me. "Hey, why you drop A-Maths?" and "Hey! You betrayed us!" I don't mind these questions that I won't answer anyway. It's only human curiousity. But what I can't stand is that they have continued even until now! It's annoying and to tell you the truth, my eardrums bleed after hearing them for countless number of times.

No, I'm not talking about those. I'm talking about this!

"Without A Maths, you have NO FUTURE!"
"Without A Maths, you shall fail in life!"

Seriously mister, why do you keep flinging these remarks to me? Do you think I have not considered MY decision of dropping Add Maths? You think I just, "Oh! Today I shall drop Add Maths and go to Geography!" NO! I have spent a few days thinking and even rethinking my decisions that could probably alter my entire life. And in the end, I have decided to pursue Geography. Sure, I did not struggle as much with Additional Maths unlike others (I still find it hard though), but I feel that Geography is more of my type.

And stop dissing Geography will you (plus another creep who joined in the conversation just now)?

I have always liked Geography ever since I started learning it. How can I help it? It's not my fault that I liked it. It's one of the most interesting subjects that I've ever studied (and that probably contributes to the reason why I took up Geography: I can't stand the thought of not spending my 2 years studying it). Yet, you keep rambling about how I have "failed" to meet up "your expectations"!

Another reason why I dropped Add Maths is because I will not be persuing careers that are maths-intensive. I know I cannot deny the fact that Maths is inevitable; you need some basic Maths wherever you go. Yes. But I wonder how you got normal Maths WITH Additional Maths messed up. You made it sound like I have sinned so badly!

And I cannot believe that you are making me want to regret my decision. What's wrong with you? Why are you being so sadistic to see me going doubtful about my decisions and go on regretting it?

DO YOU EVEN OWN ME, SO MUCH SO THAT YOU HAVE TO DECIDE FOR ME, NOT FOR YOURSELF?

Why are you so ignorant? Why do you say A Maths is the centre of the universe? Why do you say that people will frown upon those sinful and "stupid" idiotic people who dropped Add Maths, and thus make it difficult to even get a job? And you think I will end up penniless and broke and lonely just because I have dropped A Maths? NOOOOO!

I can't stand the way how some Asians have this "stereotypical" thinking mindset when it comes to education. And the way how they can be so majorly pessimistic! I hate it! It's really ironic that how some people seem to have high intelligence and act very civilised, yet underneath all is an ignorant soul with a very narrow mind which dates back to 2006 BC! They think science and maths rules over everything. Yes, I agree. But not totally.

Asians frown upon those who astrayed from Sciences and Maths. They think these people are useless and too pathetic to take up the more "enriching" Sciences and Maths. You got to change your mindset I tell you and be more open!

Note: The above is a fact. I'm not kidding. I've seen it myself. Aunties and uncles bragging about how their sons and daughters have become surgeons, scientists, doctors, lawyers and countless other prestigious jobs. I can't believe how some can sometimes treated their children like their assets!

Geography ain't easy, I tell you (although it's easier than the you-know-what subject). I can't stand you trying to tell me "Oh! Geography is an easy subject. You know, like anyone can pass it!". I know you can and you have the potential but stop saying that to me, please! It's completely pointless and it takes a lot of effort to remember facts. But I'm glad I ended enjoying doing so more than doing Add Maths.

But most importantly, I ENJOY what I am doing now. So to hell with your remarks please! Spend your time doing something more "productive", like locking up in your room and doing some Phd. Maths questions.

Oh no! My future is doomed? Yes? NO! I have spent some considerable time doing my research on careers that don't require so much Maths, and there are indeed a lot out there! I can name you some, like artists, musicians, writers, lawyers, teachers, historians, archaeologists, TV broadcasters, actors, environmentalists, geologists, GPs etc. etc. etc. This list is non-exhaustive! I suggest you do your own research before saying things out of the blue!

So yea, you say I can take Add Maths as my ninth subject? Yes I can! But I have other plans so that's a no go to me! Besides, I don't want to give myself the extra pressure. And a fool said:

"It's better to do more subjects. The more you do, the better it is! That's what employers want!"

What a load of bullshit! I've never even heard of such statements before! I need statistics, brother! And also quotes from respectable employers too! Get your facts straight before saying something so unrealistic! It all comes to waste if you can juggle 20 subjects, yet you are a loser (i.e. lazy, don't know what/how to do) when it comes to doing your job. You dig? Besides, employers are more interested in your university degree, not what you did some 7 years ago. GCE O Levels is the gateway to further education and possibly a job, but doing more does NOT give you an added advantage (unless one is doing so if he or she is really interested)!

I don't like it when you guys are SOOO ignorant of Geography too. And you even classified it as useless! How dare you! Geography isn't useless, it teaches you about the world and its physical features and how humans interact with it. If it's that useless, the Ministry of Education would have scrapped it off the syllabus eons ago. Sheesh, how wussy can you get?

Bottom line is: Respect my decisions. I've made it, I've done it and I'm committed to it. You have no right to influence my already firm thoughts. You may comment once, twice, thrice even, but not everytime! Besides, who am I to you? Why do you care SO MUCH about how my future will be? So unless you're Raven Baxter, I advise you to keep your mouth shut if you still have nothing nice to say about my choice. You don't see me dissing Add Maths, huh?

If you meant it playfully, I wouldn't have make such a big fuss about it but you have turned it into some kind of serious discussion. Sheesh. Male chauvinism. Pfft.

Oh yea, and the "talk" went somewhat from A Maths - Geography into how brainiacs are conceived. My goodness, how lame can you get? You suddenly say M's father is [I can't remember his prestigious job] and his mother is a physiotherapist, and that's why they conceived such children of high intelligence. And then you used again the example of N, saying that his father is a chemistry supplier (I don't know how they put it) and his mother is an A-Level Physics teacher. That's one one's a scientific prodigy, while the other can take on 9 subjects and remains sane and intelligent.

And you went on to ask me who my parents work as?

My god, you thought that this decision I make, which you feel stupid, makes me stupid? And you proceeded to ask who my parents are? And you dare to compare me with these people?

Who am I, huh, A PRODUCT IS IT????????

For your information, my parents are both hardworking businessmen, and my mom's also a manageress and so is my dad, a manager. So what conclusion are you trying to reach? Intelligent parents make intelligent babies, and stupid parents make....... (dear readers, please continue)?! Insulting, really...

An incohesive conclusion I'm afraid. And you made these gene inheritance thingy sound so ... mechanical and artificial. All these are decided by God I'm afraid. You can't just conceive designer babies! (The 21st century brought a change to that though =\)

I dare not say my parents' jobs, for you may ridicule them ruthlessly, which I do not allow!!!!!! And I'm not a genious okay (I wish I was, but I would be misused and abused), I'm just like everyone else! But there are certain things in me which makes me different, in a way.

Sometimes, I don't know what comes to these people's minds, turning them all weird suddenly. I don't hate them personally though, it's just that these things they do and say can really get on my nerves.

I wish I could say more to them to defend myself. Unfortunately, humans don't take that lightly and they interpret it as a cue to start a tongue-forking argument (sorry, I can't think up of the correct..."phrase"). I know I do =\. Anyway, I wouldn't want that to happen and it's only making matters worse.

On the brighter side, few days are what separates me from exams and freedom. I can't wait!


P.S. I hope none of you Add Maths students and teachers take this post seriously. I'm not directing it to anyone in particular, except for the people I mentioned above. So don't worry, I have nothing against you people or the subject! Key word: ignorant.

[+] There's more!