18 February 2007

From:that frolicsome kid
To:Whom this may concern
Date:18 February 2007, 10:40
Subject: Happy New Year, Again?!  

Happy Chinese New Year!I'm so happy to see my elder brother and his girlfriend back again! Time really flies by fast! I remember hugging them goodbye during the last week of December 2006 back at the airport. Boy, I can't believe I'm seeing him again.

I love Chinese New Year because this means that my elder brother will join our family again to celebrate this auspicious festivity. It also means another time to start afresh again. I'm determined to make the best start as possible. Now, if only my motivation and spirits are not dampened that fast... =P

One thing this festivity bugs me is that my house is opened for people to visit every year! Swarms of people, i.e. relatives, acquaintances, friends and colleagues will flock over to visit. I find it pretty scary to go down to the living room and confront so many people sitting there, laughing and having a good time. And I don't know many of them. =S I remember people looking at my way everytime when I come down the stairs. I feel so self-conscious when the eyes kept staring at my way. =S

People, especially my parents' friends, who see me will be shrieking, "Oh! Look how tall you have grown!" or "Hey, is this your son? So big already!". Man, I feel so embarrassed to be complimented that way, lol!

My mom says letting people to come over to my house brings good luck. I guess I have to bear with it. After all, I'll be compensated with lots of red packets (and a chance to show off my new clothes). Hahahaha! (No, that frolicsome kid! Don't have such selfish thoughts. >=P)

Hmmm... Have you guys ever wondered how Chinese New Year came about? My Dad told us this story last night and I remembered hearing that on Disney Channel:

A long time ago in China, a grotesque and horrible monster always came to haunt the villagers on the eve of the New Year. Oddly enough, this monster is called (nián - which also means "year" in Chinese!). The people were upset that this monster kept appearing to hurt them every year. One day, when Nian came again, it confronted a red colour in one of the villager's house and it became frightened because it was afraid of red (that is why Chinese wear red during Chinese New Year ;) ). Then suddenly, a lightning striked and the monster howled with fear. The villagers then discovered the monster's weakness so they ensured that they put something red in front of their house and make loud banging noises during the eve of the Chinese New Year.

Soon, this legend then became a tradition of the Chinese. When firecrackers were invented by the Chinese, they adopt that method to chase out the old year and welcome the New Year. So if you guys heard firecrackers last night, you now know why. =P

In case you guys haven't noticed, Chinese New Year falls on a different day every year. This is because it is based on the lunar year, not the Gregorian calendar. =) (I don't know how it works though.) And this festival is also called Spring Festival.

This Chinese New Year falls on a pig year. It's like each year is represented by a different animal, which we call the zodiacs (pretty similar to the Western Astrology). Legends of how the 12 animal cycles came about can be found here.

Anyway guys, I got to go now. I will be back soon to blog more. =P If you know any Chinese friends who opens their house during the 15 days of the Chinese New Year celebrations, feel free to pay them a visit and observe the celebrations first hand. I guarantee you find it interesting. ;) So, I'll leave you all with this and...

I want to wish you guys Gong Xi Fa Chai; have a healthy and prosperous New Year to everyone! =D

[+] There's more!

15 February 2007

From:that frolicsome kid
To:Whom this may concern
Date:15 February 2007, 21:37
Subject: Life Ain't A Fairytale  

Life is not equal to fairytales.Due to school-related stuffs, I was unable to blog the last week. =( I am utterly exhausted from having to do important assignments and schooling six days a week (despite our school hours running from 7 am to about 1 pm). Yesterday, I was rushing through my Commonwealth Essay as the deadline was today (and I barely met it) and because it was done at the eleventh hour, it turned out looking like a shoddy and sloppy piece of essay. =( The topics were quite hard this year and I think that is one of the main causes why I procrastinated.

Thus, I wrote it half-heartedly as I ran out of fresh ideas. It was horribly standardized and I doubt the judges would even read past the first paragraph before tossing it into the bin. *sigh*

Two days before the deadline, I was struggling to brainstorm out ideas for my essay. It took many hours later for me to decide to switch to another topic. I was unsure of the facts itself, therefore I failed to deliver my opinions. So instead, I wrote another topic which to my utter disappointment was not done well. Nevertheless, I am glad that I managed to shove this essay away from me. *weak smile*

While I was writing, I was loathing to my best friend the obstacles I had to overcome (i.e. my procrastination). I think I typed more words in our online chats than in my essay. =\ I can't believe I wasted so many precious hours just moaning and groaning to him how arduous my work was!

After I finally concluded my visit to one of my friend's blog, I suddenly entered panic mode and cold, harsh reality sank in. I had an essay to write, and I was faced with a blank document, except for the few paragraphs. It was pretty discouraging. Yes, I know I was a NaNoWriMo participant and 1500 words is "pretty easy" to manage.

I thought so too. I was overconfident. And that overconfidence brought my downfall, once again.

I began ranting to him how much I was strayed off track and I poured my disturbed emotions over him. I feel sorry for him having to bear my incessant rants. =( I am thankful that he can still manage to drill reality into my head. Thanks man, I really need that! =)

Like how I pathetically wrote 2 paragraphs in 3 hours. And he knowing that I find thrill in doing work at the last hour. They're all true and I don't deny it. Okay, I did but we knew it's true! =P Your sarcasm sure bites, mister! And they bite hard! =O (And I needed this shock therapy once in a while or rather everytime, lol!)

Then I began to get serious about my attitude. Sure, I may finish my essay minutes before my English teacher steps into class. Unfortunately if that continues, I'm not going to lead a very successful life.

I know this might sound really shocking, but I have this conceived belief that life is like a fairytale. I'm serious! It sounds childish but I hold onto that thought! I always feel that whatever I do, it will have a happy ending. If the ending is not happy, then it's not quite the end yet. Besides, isn't that what most stories in novels and movies are like - happy endings which will move me to tears or make me go "Yes!"?

It's rather ironic that I did not even try to put in the effort myself. I do things half-heartedly if it isn't to my desire. I loathe work. I dislike doing it. I rather do things that matter most to me (i.e. nothing at all!). The funny thing is, I like work as well, in the sense that it keeps me occupied and giving me a sense of purpose. In other words, I shun and love it!

Over-optimism is what I call it. Then at certain times, I can feel over-pessimistic. =S

To put it simply, I treated life like a fairytale and I think that belief is very self-damaging. Guess the advice I was given by this best friend of mine? =)

Your life is a book in writing, not a written one. As your life goes on, so does your story... It will never be completed till the day you die. Quote from best friend

I never thought of it that way. Now that he had mentioned it, I pondered about it since I like to write (and end with a happy ending). He then took the words out of my mouth by saying that I feel as though whatever things I do will turn out well in the end. The weird thing is that many, many times the work I have done always turn out well and it further strengthens my belief. Self-damaging success? =S

Does that mean I am waiting for failure now? Maybe... There's that part of me that yearns for failure and once I have experienced it, it will be like a shock therapy and I will change for the better. So far, the failures in my life have yet to affect me? =S I don't know, I don't get it myself. I don't learn from mistakes? Or must be mistakes be so grave and profound that it will affect my mind, body and spirit?

Our conversation ended with these three important values that I will always remember for life:
  1. Set goals
  2. Prioritize
  3. And most importantly, to take things that matter seriously

I failed to do any of these three... But I really must try my best to uphold these characteristics in order to be successful. Even one of my teachers explained about these to us in class.

I admit, I have read a lot of books on how to succeed in life. They are fun to read and they always motivate me. I never applied them though...

Maybe it's high time that I should.


I am really thankful that I have such a good friend in life who tries to give me a push in times of need. Especially at this crucial year where I'll be sitting for that important GCE 'O' Levels exam in November.

*sigh* It's time to begin... Screw procrastination and laziness; may these two demons go back to hell, lol! >=)

On the other hand, maybe I was slightly disturbed by the thought that I have yet to tell the Deputy Principal about me wanting to drop Sociology... I don't know why I hesitated to confront her. Why am I so afraid of telling her about my confirmed decision?


Let's talk about my Valentine's Day. I thought it was a rather ordinary day, except very overrated and exaggerated. Ugh~ People get lovey-dovey and mushy-gushy at this one day of the year and what about the rest of the 364 days? And oh my, how commercialised has it been especially in this 21st century!

That wasn't what St. Valentine's Day was originally intended for. Our Christian Religious Knowledge teacher explained to us about its origins, and it was then only I realised how beautiful the story behind really was.

So much have changed over those years. (Fine, maybe I'm a bit biased towards this because I'm single and I have no "proper" girlfriend. But hey, I can always shower my love 365 days, not on that one day out of so many days! =P)

Despite my dull feelings towards that day, I want to wish everyone here a Happy (belated) Valentine's Day, and I want to thank you for the friendships we have formed. I thank you guys for coming here to this blog and took your time to know me; it was a pleasure to know you guys as well. Thank you, and all of you will always have this special spot in my heart. =)

Lots of love! =D

[+] There's more!

9 February 2007

From:that frolicsome kid
To:Whom this may concern
Date:9 February 2007, 16:33
Subject: Blog. Why?  

Why do I love to blog?Hi guys! Sorry if I didn't manage to blog about something interesting right after my previous post as school has pretty much "taken over" my entire life. =P Suddenly, after our long, uneventful vacation, homeworks were dished out to each of us students. Plus, there are upcoming important events (at least to me) very soon next month and I am rather unprepared to deal with them. =S

This was supposed to be written in my previous post, but I was feeling rather groggy and tired due to lack of sleep (despite lasting for 7 hours - quite a long time for many people). *sigh* In fact, I wasn't feeling too good yesterday. My orientation was blurry and I couldn't think straight. Thankfully I'm alright now and in top shape again. =D

There must be a reason for me to blog, right? Otherwise, I couldn't simply just weave my blog posts out from nothing. That would be too weird! =P

I remember while I was a kid, I used to keep several diaries. I remember keeping a diary chronicling my daily school life, which I showed to my parents and they raised their eyebrows, asking why am I showing my diary to them when it was meant to be private. Not surprisingly, that diary of mine never lasted long. =P So do all of them.

Blogging completely replaced keeping a physical diary. I discovered it after my friend had introduced to me his personal blog, and I was hooked. This meant not only can I write about my personal life and being able to share them with all of my friends, but this also means that I finally had the chance to put my basic HTML knowledge to the test. It was incredibly exciting and from then on, I became a regular blogger.

This aforementioned blog of mine still exists today somewhere in the blogosphere. Unfortunately, my blogging activities over there has dwindled in frequency because I ran out of topics to blog about. Sure, blogging about what goes on everyday in my life is fun (up to a certain point), but it's redundant and most of the time, it's the same routine anyway. No one likes to read the same things, and I don't want to put in the effort to tell the same story in different ways. I got bored of it and decided to venture into something deeper - discovering myself via blogging (and at the same time, to improve my writing skills). Speaking of writing skills, I remember mine wasn't this good. I remember vaguely last year that I was blogging about something simple and short and I honestly don't know why but somehow, my words just "click" together and I was actually using a higher form of English. I then realised that I can write! I kept blogging, and that's it - my way of self-expression via writing and blogging has changed for the better forever. =) I can't believe blogging in itself has became a big turning point in my life.

There are many instances when I wanted to spill out my thoughts into my other blog but that wasn't possible because my friends are reading it and when I ventured into Year 10, I made many friends and although I am like a monster saying this, but I couldn't trust them with my innermost thoughts. I was thinking, maybe I should but then I decided against it, believing that it's not wise to do so.

That's the very reason why this blog was conceived - as a place for me to quickly type out whatever worries, problems, frustrations and thoughts that haunt a corner of my brain which can quickly take over me. It felt good to even ramble into space. It's like putting them into a trash bag and send to the incinerator to be burned and forgotten. I must say, it's very liberating.

Another reason why I blog is also so that I can know the severity of my more "serious" problems. Do you guys know I have no idea how less severe my problems seem to be once I reread them again later? I realised that most of them are as a result of my hyperactive brain and I have this tendency to over-exaggerate even the most menial problems. Thank you to all who commented to help make my problem seem small and solvable, I truly appreciate it and it made me relaxed more, now that I can see my problem from a different angle, i.e. your perspective.

I also think more of my heart than my head, and that presents a really bad problem to me. Sometimes, when I ramble, I find that I'm not even thinking at all, just lashing out my emotions and thoughts into a blog post. (That's why some are pretty angsty. =P) It's always much, much later that I only made use of my logic centre up there to come up with solutions and to calm myself down. It's really funny at times. =P

What makes blogging so liberating for me is my anonymity. I guess a lot of people who stumble into this little haven of mine have often wondered who is that guy behind that cartoon portrait? Not disclosing his name is perfectly fine, but not even his location? The reason why I do not disclose anything besides my age is because I want to have the complete freedom to write whatever I want. Freedom of self-expression is what I really want because I am conformed by pressures of society to be someone normal - someone who doesn't share his own, personal thoughts with everyone he is acquainted with. Besides, I'm weird myself already. I don't think they are ready for more of my private and even weirder thoughts. =P

Besides, I don't really like sharing my thoughts with people. Sometimes, secrets are best kept to one self. I am also making myself vulnerable. People will take advantage of me and many a times, I find it rather difficult to fend it off. I'm not strong enough, both physically and mentally.

That itself, however, presents another problem of mine. I want to at least tell someone what I am going through now. I have no idea why I have such a funny need to do so. But yeah, I just want to share my life with someone. People have called me private, but I long to tell them all that has happened to me. It's just that I don't trust them enough and worse: I am fearful of divulging them me.

By putting my name and my location and horrors of all horrors, my picture (!), I am severely limited to what I can write as people who know me personally would expect certain things from me and not to expect weird, yet "wonderful" things about me. And wouldn't this ruin the whole point of keeping a secret blog as well (remember Google ;) )? Things I hide from loved ones disclosed here to total strangers who know nothing about you. The only way they can get to know the real you is via blog posts, of course. ;)

That is the real beauty of blogging. =) You can always do that in real life, but unfortunately, certain circumstances prevent one from doing so.

I just want to tell you guys that in this blog, I'm not a person.

I'm a soul stripped off its body and flesh, and bones...

Am I jeopardising my vulnerability? Very. I know that itself is a paradox. But then, I just want to show my true self to the world, something that I don't always do in real life. Besides, my anonymity is my protection. =P

I honestly have no idea this blog and I could evolve and mature so much within the time span of half a year! I was happy that I got to know a few people via comments and who now have became my very good buddies. Each of them offered many different good advices and opinions and I appreciate ALL of them. =)

Never in my whole life did I expect this blog to win the Bestest Blog of The Day awards the other day. I was, and still am, OVERJOYED! =D Yaaaay!!! Thank you to everyone who came here to read my blog posts, from the humble beginnings of this blog to its present day state. =) I certainly enjoy blogging about my life, and I hope you guys enjoy reading it as well. =)

P.S. The portrait below was done by my little brother using Adobe Photoshop Elements 2.0 and a graphics tablet in one of his Art classes. Doesn't it look nice (albeit grotesque in a really cool way? ;) )?

My brother's masterpiece
© that frolicsome kid's little brother, 2007 - 3007 (lol!). Click on picture to view full-size.

[+] There's more!

6 February 2007

From:that frolicsome kid
To:Whom this may concern
Date:6 February 2007, 21:48
Subject: Bestest Blog of The Day?! =D  

Lugging myself into the computer room, with half-eyes closed I checked my email inbox, expecting it to be empty. My eyes fluttered open when I saw Bobby's name there and I was like, "Erm, does he want to ask me something?" And...*drum roll*


Bestest Blog of All Time - 6-2-2007!


And I went to http://bestestblogofalltime.blogspot.com...

I cannot believe it! I. Have. Been. Chosen. As. A. Winner! This is so incredibly exciting! This date - 6th of February 2007 - will never be the same again. I shall remember it as one of the most important dates in history! =D

First of all, I want to shout out a big thank you to Mimi for writing a great review about me and this blog of mine. Thank you so much! =D I really appreciate it! =D

I would like to blog more, but unfortunately, I got to go now. =( I need to get some shut eye as I'm exhausted. And I have got to deal with some other important stuffs as well. See you guys later, and thanks for the award Bobby and Mimi! =D

By the way, for those of you who stumbled into here from Bestest Blog of All Time...


[+] There's more!

5 February 2007

From:that frolicsome kid
To:Whom this may concern
Date:5 February 2007, 17:34
Subject: Sociology? Uh-uh...  

This is a follow-up blog post from Sociology? And other thoughts...

Oh my gosh, what is wrong with me? Why am I beginning to worry about this again? This is bad, this is very bad...

Last night while I was in bed, I was hit by the sudden, sick realisation. I have not done much for Sociology, i.e. I have only covered 1 and a half big units, and there are 7 more to go. This is frustrating. I don't think I can complete all eight units in time for the exam in November. I might as well forget it and spend my energy concentrating on my 8 more important subjects, and score better marks in them.

There's just one problem though. I have to inform the deputy principal regarding my change in decision (this is the third time: first was to obtain permission to sit for this subject, second was to switch from Additional Maths to Geography, and now this...) again. Will she even approve of my decision? I have even got my parents' consent. What will they say? Most importantly, what will she say?! Will she criticise me and make me DO it, whether I like it or not?

I believe I still stand a chance though since registration has yet to be opened. Guys, I don't look forward to stand in her office telling her my change of my decision. I don't think she'll take me seriously, and she will shoot a plethora of questions hurling towards me. Questions, questions. I even tried to imagine how the meeting with her would turn out last night. I almost couldn't sleep last night.

Why did I want to drop this subject? First of all, there are still many more topics to cover. So, why did I take it in the first place? Honestly, I have no idea - I was thinking more with my heart than my head (in other words, I was too blinded by the sudden discovery of me suddenly developing an interest in this subject I went straight to sit for it in the O Levels without thinking of the effort I have to put in and its consequences). And I sort of regretted my hasty decision...


Oh boy, I'm in deep trouble. I am very afraid that she's going to request me to take up Additional Maths as replacement. I can imagine the look on my ex-teacher's face, glaring at me, daring me to tell her the reason why I made a stupid decision...

That'll be highly unlikely, but I never know. My school life is so messed up.

Did I tell you that I was afraid to tell her that I want to stop doing this subject? It's not too late right, since registration is yet to be opened. *shudder at the thought* I just am afraid to confront her and ramble nothing but mutterings. I was thinking of treating her to a cup of coffee at a local coffee shop and talk things thoroughly about my decisions.

I don't think it's necessary.

I have been badly misinformed. I should have been more patient and wait to study this subject later in Sixth Form, when more experienced teachers can deliver this subject to me properly. I lack resources as well; I cannot find past year papers online, the syllabus outline is too vague and frankly, there's a lot to remember! No, I don't think I can commit myself fully to study Sociology now.

Regrets, regrets. Oh, stupid naive me! >.<

So, should I see her? Or should I just go on and study this? (I definitely hope it isn't the latter because well...I just know I cannot go on anymore.) =(

[+] There's more!

4 February 2007

From:that frolicsome kid
To:Whom this may concern
Date:4 February 2007, 10:30
Subject: Birthday of a Best Friend  

Are we drifting apart?Why don't I feel happy about him, but instead a melancholy feeling lingers in my soul? I mean, it's his birthday today and I am happy that he has finally turned 16, the sweetest age of anyone's life.

I think it's because our relationship isn't so hot now and it isn't working out I guess, despite making up (phrase edited on 5/2, thanks katelyn and annelisa for pointing out!) and settling our rather fragile friendship way back at New Year's Day. It was a Sunday...

This is horrible, I shouldn't be feeling like this. But I honestly cannot help it as these past few days I have been haunted by thoughts about him and I have been questioning our friendship, where we stand now etc. before sleep. Something is wrong; there's no more spark between us unlike last time, three years ago.

Did I tell you guys about the outing I had with him last month? To tell you the truth, it was not exciting at all. It was incredibly dull, if it wasn't for the movie. We talked rather little, and even if we did talk, our topics were rather dry anyway since they were school-related talk and other simple chats and comments passing (I can't remember them). It was horrible, we both weren't opening up to each other. What is wrong? What went wrong? Was it me?

I hate to jump to conclusions but I think the downfall of our friendship was having nothing in common in all. I couldn't find anything in common between us anymore. We don't play the same games and we don't have the same interests. Sometimes, I cannot help but feel jealous at the fact that he has a big circle of friends (at least among the guys), united by a (stupid) game I call Warcraft and other games they play. I know I have made a rather harsh statement, but I can't help but have this feeling that the aforementioned is true. (By the way, I dislike or rather hate Warcraft. I am inexperienced (or in 1337, a n00b)

Guys, I honestly don't know what is coursing through me now. Despite being best friends for quite a number of years, I know very little about him. It's only his overt personality that I know of. Even so, I still know little about it compared to most of his friends. I don't know his hobby (besides gaming), I don't know his favourite colour and his favourite things, I don't know how he views life and how he thinks. I can't even tell from the way he say things whether he is sarcastic about it, serious about it, angry about it or is simply kidding about it. (Maybe it's due to his neutral intonation.)

Heck, I don't even know some of his secrets which most of his friends do. I tell him mine. I am very open to him, I tell him some of my secrets and I seek solace in him many a times. So why doesn't he tell me some of his, or at the very least share what's going on in his life besides the usual "Nothing much"? (I admit, I say that too many times.)

In other words, he is *heaves a heavy sigh* becoming a stranger in my life. I'm even closer to some of my good friends than him. There's another way of saying it, but I can't recall it at the moment.

This happened to me twice already, having a falling out with three of my previous best friends. One moved to another school and I haven't seen him since, another I abandoned for a "new" best friend and the other one was because he took advantage of my weaknesses and he bullied me.

Was it all because I have labeled them as my "best friend"? Am I cursed as to whenever I say it out, some unseen forces will try and split us apart? (It was an exaggeration. There's a high chance that it wasn't because of that.) Or have I befriended the wrong best friend?

Or is everything all because of me, that I'm too demanding and I take all this best friend relationship thing too seriously? Fine, I am a bit demanding and I do take these sort of friendships seriously. That's because I care for them and I also want to share moments of my life with them be it bitter or sweet. And I want intimate companionship(s), not having fake acquaintances and fans.

All I want is just someone to be nice to me, and to see and like me as who, not what, I am. Besides that, I also want a someone who can keep on a lookout for me, talk to me, give some attention to me (not everytime though, I need some space) and be his/her genuine self.

Are they too much to ask for? I think so... Maybe I should keep my...err..."expectations" lower, I guess...

We lack communication. We used to be pretty talkative when we see each other. Lately, we're not. It's all a matter of hi and bye.


I sometimes even fear meeting him. My heart beats up for no apparent reason when I see/near him. I don't know what I fear about. I can't explain it. It's just that, I feel extra strange when I am with him. This is weird considering since I act pretty normal with the rest of my friends and acquaintances.

What is wrong with me? Why do I have this paranoia?

I remember turning down on my friends' invitations to go on outings which my best friend is going. I disliked going out at that time (I didn't like staying out of my house). Maybe that was my mistake. One day (recently), I decided to give it a try and sad to say this, I didn't have fun. And last year, he invited me to his house for his birthday party. Again, sorry to say this, I didn't have fun. The only fun part I liked was the birthday cake part.

They were playing Warcraft and I felt left out. I was glad to leave them in peace... =(

This is not to say I do not remember all the happy moments we share together. Of course I do. I remember way back in Year 8 when he and I went off to the block of flats near our school before Taekwondo classes begin and we would whip out our Nintendo Game Boy Advances and begin our Pokemon battles. =) I know, it seems pretty childish at that time considering our age, but we had lots of fun fighting! It was awesome even though not many could understand how we can derive enjoyment from playing Pokemon. It was my obsession at that time. Thank goodness it's dying now! ;) But still, that was how we bonded.

I still remember vividly him telling me that he has a crush on the same person as I have. Remember Akazukin ChaCha? Yeah, that was the same person he had a crush on. And I was quite crushed, LOL! I still remember the place he told me that. We were making a turn towards another school behind us. The trees were rustling and I remember the sun shining its rays in its cheerful mood. The birds were singing in the trees with the beautiful music spoiled by zooming cars most of the time. It was a beautiful day.

I also remembered the many times we walked around the block where our school was sited and in our walks, we talked about nothing but ourselves. It was fun and enjoyable, even though I cannot remember what we have talked about. All I remember is the sun shining and they were beautiful days. Hahahaha, and we always came to Taekwondo class a few minutes late! *silly grin*

Those were the days...

And now?

I honestly do not know what caused our distance between us. I blame lack of communication and us splitting up into different classes last year. Then again, we were drifting apart already two years ago. Many times, I addressed the problem to him. Nothing has changed...

What's wrong? (I know I have said this over and over again)

Maybe it's high time that we end our special friendship, on our last year of high school. It's just not working out anymore. I don't mind remaining as friends with him though (I honestly do not want to make an enemy out of a best friend. It happened twice; I don't want it to happen again.). This is what I am really feeling now. It cannot be explained, most of my feelings cannot be put down into words but I know it instinctively.

Maybe it's just me not knowing how to be a good best friend. =(

Dear best friend, if you are still reading my blog and you happen to read this on your birthday, I'm awfully, dreadfully sorry! But these are the true, honest feelings I wanted to pour out quite some time already. Sorry to ruin your birthday =(. I hope you can understand (I know you always tell me you do understand, but do you really? I have my doubts, I hate to say that =( ).

However, please understand this: You are a nice guy (and you still are!) and you treated me so well during the pinnacle of our friendship. I thank you so much for all those times; unforgettable times of my life. Have a great sweet 16th birthday to you and take good care of yourself. Hope you have a great birthday today. =)

[+] There's more!

1 February 2007

From:that frolicsome kid
To:Whom this may concern
Date:1 February 2007, 17:44
Subject: The Sound of Ringing School Bells  

Bringggg! It's school!I just want to say that school has started! I was happy to reunite with my friends again, and we laughed and talked about a lot of things. That what first day of school was meant for anyway, to catch up on friends, not syllabi! =P

It wasn't easy waking up at 6 in the morning again. I had lots of difficulty waking up and adjusting to my "new" schedule after days of sleeping late and sleeping in! =P

Just now, we were given a pep talk on how we are supposed to work hard for our upcoming GCE O Levels and basically, our teacher told us to be more serious and she was constantly stressing on how we only have 9 intensive months left before the exams and how important this last year in high school is. It was really scary but I felt rather motivated to begin doing light revision starting from...tomorrow? (Another wishful thinking of mine! *rolls eyes* =P )

Maybe I should with languages. I managed to obtain a file on the country's O Levels results and did an analysis. I found out that most people had obtained a B (no, I didn't bother with those who scored less than a credit) in Malay. That's a disheartening news, especially when I realise my vocabulary has shrunk to an infancy level! No, I'm not exaggerating, I'm serious! I can't even communicate with my fellow countrymen; I have to constantly speak Manglish or English. Even though they don't mind, it's not doing any good for my upcoming orals.

I have got to work hard to recover my use of Malay! I must make sure my vocabulary will expand to the level expected by fifth formers (Year Eleven-ers). I would love to get an A in this subject (and I definitely want an A for English!). Make it all subjects, LOL! =P

Speaking of the results, I was slightly possessed by jealousy when I saw the fantastic and incredible marks some have gotten. Why must I always be so jealous about these sort of academic achievements, heck I have yet to sit for the exams! >.<

Before I daydream of impossible dreams, I first have got to work hard at it. It has occurred to me in a number of occasions that sometimes, I can get so obsessed with my dream/fantasy, I actually forgot to include the effort needed to do things well. And that results in me "screwing (sorry!)" up things a couple of times.

Yesterday, my mom called my piano teacher to withdraw my little brother out from piano classes mainly because he is lacking the interest to continue playing to piano. He said that piano is so out of his league (i.e. he finds it difficult). Thank goodness the conversation my mom had with her was full of laughter and cheerful talks. I was almost afraid to confront her (I definitely do not want her to bombard me with questions regarding my brother!). I am so relieved that everything is alright now, and according to what she told my mom, this trend of dropping piano is too common.

My brother was terribly overjoyed last night! He was pretending that all the piano musical notes were falling out of his brain! It was such a hilarious sight! I have never seen such a happy person before, it totally scares me! =O Nevertheless, he has been bugging us about this matter for quite some time already, so I guess I can understand that! *shrug* =D So now, he's picking up Art and I must say, he has a talent for it! His drawings were amazing for a "new student"! Maybe I can post up a few here if I can...

Alright, I got to end now. I need to relax after a long, hard, arduous day at school and an exhausting piano class. It has been a long time since I have last played Sims 2. What am I hearing now? I hear the Sims CDs calling out my name weakly. Somehow, I am hypnotized by their voice... Time to insert my CD into the drive and start playing!

On the other hand, I have My Sister's Keeper to read. The story is about a girl who wants to stop donating her organs to her sister, since she was conceived (or rather, genetically created) to let her sister live. It's really fascinating to read how she is now fighting for her own rights after all those years.

Great, I'm having a dilemma of choosing my mode of relaxation. I must be the first person in the world who does this "unique" decision-making! =P

[+] There's more!