28 April 2007

From:that frolicsome kid
To:Whom this may concern
Date:28 April 2007, 23:19
Subject: Coming out of My Comfort Zone  

Help! How am I supposed to progress?I'm sick and tired of school. Lately, many of my friends noticed that I have been moody these past few days. I think fatigue and boredom caused it. In other words, the reluctance to pick up my books and study made me worry about how am I supposed to pass my exams with flying colours. It's nearing the middle of the year, and you know what that means. Mid-Year Examinations are just around the corner and it's that period of the year where many dread and wish they never existed.

In Science class, Mr. Z. told us about an experiment where they got this rat or mouse, and they put this rat or mouse on one side of a cage. On the other side of the cage, they put a little piece of food. And this rat or mouse would walk over to the food and eat. Then, they put the rat or mouse back on its original position, and this time, they put electricity all through the floor where the rat or mouse would have to walk to get the piece of food. They did this for a while, and the rat or mouse stopped going to get the food at a certain amount of voltage. Then, they repeated the experiment, but they replaced the food with something that gave the rat or mouse intense pleasure, but I am guessing it is some kind of rat or mouse nip. ...the rat or mouse would put up with a lot more voltage for the pleasure. Even more than for the food. [...]

The Perks of Being a Wallflower, by Stephen Chbosky.

Never in my life have I quoted something direct from a book I have read. Well, let's make this a first. =) It's time to put my reading comprehension to the test; inferring meanings from a passage! =P

What got me thinking was that the mouse was willing to suffer some pain in order to get the food and chomp down his reward. When the obstacle (the increased voltage) got tougher to the extent that it wasn't worth suffering to achieve the same goal, the mouse did not bother getting it after it realised how much more painful it was to step on the high voltage. The food was replaced with something that pleasures the mouse once ingested and look what happened to the mouse! It simply did not care how painful the high-voltage floor was because it knew that it would receive pleasure at the end of the painstaking journey which far compensates the pain.

One thing stands clear in this short passage - the mouse had goals. No, not complicated goals like becoming a SuperMouse or something impossible. It's a simple one, and it was willing to get out of its comfort zone, challenged itself to overcome the obstacles along the way and reaped its well-deserved rewards at the end of it. Simply put: cry first, rejoice later.

Are my goals set above my expectations? Are the obstacles I encounter while studying way out of my league? Or maybe my goals simply do not exist at all. I think that is my main problem. I tried, with limited success, the past few days trying to get my head into studying but my concentration just has to waver after a short few minutes of "intense studying", which shouldn't be called intense. I seem to be so distracted everytime when I study. I think of going online, I think of the immense amounts of homework the teachers suddenly decided to dump onto us, I think of the Macromedia Flash project competition I should try and complete and I think about the competitions I got myself involved in.

Oddly enough, the goals meme I did for myself the other day did not seem to help. In fact, I forgot about it. =( Shouldn't I be more focused on my studies since I have had already predefined my goals?

I am not serious enough. I am not willing to compromise the comforts I am enjoying now for the sake of my studies. I did not prioritise my studies. What's wrong with me? Why have I suddenly take my education lightly? It's not supposed to happen. I am supposed to study and obtain the best possible marks in exam.

No, my parents are in no way pressuring me to get good marks for *cough* them *cough*, in case you are wondering. I consider myself lucky for having such good parents. I'm doing this for my own sake. I won't do this for anyone, except for myself.

Lately, I have begun questioning my study techniques. I know it is such a bad time to question it, but I cannot help but wonder if they are going to help me in the long run.

I "study" by typing out notes for most of my subjects. I try to type out nearly all the chapters. I begin by reading through the textbook and learn the facts which I should know but wasn't covered or little emphasised in class. Once I can make heads and tails of what I have read, I open up my notebook and textbook plus supplements and I begin condensing or "summarising" the information in them into point forms. I try as much as possible not to leave out any information, no matter how minor they seem to be.

An extract of my notesAn extract of my notes
These are the notes I created from the chapter of the Urinary System.

Yes, I don't do my notes the way how my study guidebooks recommend. Instead of closing my book and trying to recall by writing down what I have learned, I open my books and copy the important points, trying to put them into my own words as much as possible. I don't pick out some important points and summarise them in as little words as possible. I take the whole big junk of information and just type them out. This makes the last-minute revisions difficult as I have to spend quite a long time trying to leaf through everything and ensuring that in that as short span of time, information can actually seep through my impermeable brain.

No, I don't read my notes until the day before or a couple of days if the subject content is really broad. And I wonder, is it worth spending my time making notes like that, and not reading them consistently?

It is my fault that I make my notes at the last minute (again!). I procrastinated because it's a very time-consuming process, and I loathe time-consuming jobs. So, I just leave everything to the last minute, and then worry about getting it done on time (forget about revising - making notes is a revision in itself, I think).

My situation currently is exactly like the mouse: Big obstacles, same goals but maybe the rewards are greater. Or it makes no difference at all. I totally have no idea. I am very hesitant to improvise my study methods, because I feel that it's a good way of revising. Well, I am speaking from a rather biased point of view, since I never really try out other methods.

Maybe I could join my legions of friends and just read from the textbook but I myself know how much I hate doing it, plus textbooks are infamous for containing large blocks of redundant paragraphs! Hey, 400 pages is no joke. I nearly fainted when katelyn sent me extracts from her piloted Chemistry textbook (thanks again!). Upon further inquiry, I discovered her textbook is twice as thick as mine.

That puts me off. I dislike reading thick books, rather surprising for an avid reader like me. That's why I avoid reading Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings. =\ Their thickness just makes me want to wander to the Children Book's section!

The amount of content I have to study for the upcoming Mid-Year Examinations begins from last year until wherever we have covered so far this year. That is like three-quarters of the textbooks! =( The subjects I fear most are Biology, Geography, Computer Studies, Chemistry, Physics... Oh, make them all! =O

I haven't been getting my minimum 8 hours of sleep too nowadays and as a result, I have been getting very cranky. I snapped at my parents and my brother. I wore a gloomy face from the time I woke up to about the second period in school. It was that bad. Today was especially bad. I sulked and snapped at both my parents. I cringed at the noises at home. I'm at a very fragile state now, I could blow up anytime soon.

And what did I study for today (or rather, written notes on)? Enthalpy change. So much for progress for the day. *heaves a heavy sigh*

I don't know what to do with myself. I need to pick myself up by committing myself to my studies. So far, I've seen myself dedicating none of my drop of sweat on my studies. I can't believe there are so many distractions around me, particularly the Internet!

You know guys, for every minute of studying, there will be half an hour of relaxing. I feel so "wasted". *ugh* It's that bad! I catch myself taking opportunities to watch TV, eat as long as I can, use the PC as long as possible - just to escape studying. I know they are temporary measures, that is why I keep taking them. =(

In Geography, we have a vicious cycle of poverty. In me, there is the vicious cycle of procrastinating. In both cases, the victims are the losers, because of "uncontrollable factors".

Have I ever posted such blog posts before? I think I did. Either that, or I have thought of these ever since a long time ago.

I want good results. I want to excel in school. I don't want my tardiness and procrastination habits to drag me down. I believe I have got the potential.

I have set the mood to study. Sadly, I lack the attitude.

I wish I could turn back the clock and begin a fresh start and outlook towards revision. I wish God could grant me 30 hours in a day and bless me with the ability to not sleep, so that I can fully make use of my day. If that happens, would I still stick to my old ways, thinking that, "Oh! It's still a long time before exams loom!"?

I need to be pinpointed my mistakes. I don't know where I have gone wrong. I never feel so wrecked in my life. =(

[+] There's more!

20 April 2007

From:that frolicsome kid
To:Whom this may concern
Date:20 April 2007, 19:06
Subject: Mad AT Basketball  

Basketball players are selfish, arrogant bastards!

I hated basketball and I always will. No, not because I hate the game. It is the players which make the game seems so barbaric and senseless, with cries of fouls thrown everywhere and hurls of taunts and insults thrown everywhere.

Something happened just now which enrages me. My ball hit a kid's head slightly and I apologized to him for being careless with it. The game proceeded as usual but it looked like my neighbour was fussy about who will have the ball first. He wanted to follow NBA's official rules by shooting for the ball (it's like as if we all want to be NBA players). I think it's unnecessary since after many tries, both the players were unable to shoot the ball into the hoop from the three-point line, so he and my teammate made the decision by playing "O-U-T" and since it failed to be the deciding factor also, they played a game among themselves to see who shoots the ball into the hoop.

Can't they have some bloody sense and settle it by playing "Rock-Paper-Scissors"? This game isn't some official and grand international basketball competition. I see no need to be so fussy, plus it's taking up precious time. I lack the patience too to just wait for these VIPs (or "MVPs" for that matter). *rolls eyes*

After a long time of waiting, the game finally begun. Everything flowed "smoothly" *cough* and as the game proceeds, it stopped temporarily with a goal shot by the other team. Fair enough. It so happened that one of the kids was taking his break by sitting down very near to the basketball hoop stand.

As the ball went into the hoop, my brother ran and caught it directly under the hoop and guess what? One of my blinking idiotic teammate rushed to my brother and push the ball away from my brother's hands. The ball flew up and it made a hard impact on the kid's head!

The kid immediately crouched and covered his head, wincing in pain. At first, I thought he was trying to be funny and gain sympathy from me but as I looked at him still crouching, I realised he wasn't playing around and he was really in pain. Meanwhile, my teammate blamed my brother for catching the ball under the hoop. Naturally, my brother defended himself, since it wasn't his fault! I was staring at the two of them, staring in disbelief how smug some people can really be by putting the blame on someone else as a means of lame defense! =O

My brother and I gathered around him and asked him how he was feeling or not. I cannot believe I refuse to get the message that he's really in pain, yet I kept on asking him whether he is fine or not when my conscience uttered a long "Duh!". I even crouched down and saw him in tears, crying from the pain. I pitied the little boy to have double accidents within an hour; on his head too! =(

As I was trying to attend to him, the rest of the four players have the cheek to continue the game, as if nothing had really happened. Of all the nerve! I called for a time out and my neighbour approached me and asked me for the reason. Isn't it obvious? They continued playing anyway, despite the fact that they know he was in pain.

I tried calling for his brother but I got an unpleasant surprise when he said "Leave him alone.". What an egoistic brother! On the other hand, I told myself maybe it happened most of the time and he will end up feeling okay. The matter is that his head was injured and heaven knows what might happened after the (un-)intentional accident.

It was only after some time later did my neighbour come to the rescue and finally utter wise words. I know nothing about first aid, so he instructed me to massage his head with my palm. I did and he winced in pain of course. That kid later told me to remove my hand as it was painful. So I released my hand while my neighbour told me that maybe I can massage the injured part later when he comes to his senses.

The kid then told my brother and I to let him relax there while we resume the game. I joined in first and suddenly there was a cry of foul (I think) because I joined in the game! I was shocked again! Wasn't I already in the game? My neighbour spoke foolish words, "3 against 2 isn't fair!"

What? Wasn't my brother in this game. I asked him and he shook his head, saying "No" as he stood next to the kid. Sheesh, I can't believe the fear of losing run deep in his vein, just because I am tall! Hello, I have a disadvantage here too: I am not skilled in basketball. In your language: I suck at b-ball! They cancel each other out!

I lost my top at that time. I turned my head and walked away, announcing bitterly that I am going home since I was not needed anymore! Talk about teamwork and sportsmanship! I just realised what true friends they are (yeah right, I knew that a long time ago)! The stupid rascals did not even bother about my leaving.

I don't too.

I was so ready to burst into flames there and then. I tried to suppress it temporarily. As I walked back to my house, I swore and criticised their arrogance and selfishness. Deep inside me, I was hoping they could hear what I said, even though that would only stir up trouble.

And the kid? Forget it! His brother can "nurse" him back.

I was insulted as a bookworm too by them long before this happened since a new friend asked me what sports I "like" as I don't play basketball often. I let that insult slip. I have heard worse insults.

But this...is unforgivable. How can you not get mad at their bratty attitudes?

Such people smear the good name and fun of basketball. They made it into a sport meant for barbarians to play. Tell me, was it wrong of me to "over-react" over someone's injury? Was it wrong of them to not care about an injured player?

I say it again, they are selfish creeps with totally big egos that's just asking to be burst! I am tempted to insult a race and the entire basketball community but nah.


Forget about neighbourliness! I don't look forward to have another basketball match with them anymore.

[+] There's more!

14 April 2007

From:that frolicsome kid
To:Whom this may concern
Date:14 April 2007, 22:12
Subject: Argghh! No scholarship?  

Wait! Please, I want to submit the scholarship form!For those who happen to read the previous version of this blog post, I shouldn't have blogged about it so vaguely. I was so worried and overcame with fear by the problem I was facing, and I couldn't put my messy and disorientated thoughts into words. It always happens when I get worried. It took me a while to snap myself back to reality. =(

I would like to retell the last moments of completing the application form for the ASEAN scholarship before mailing it to the Ministry of Education in Singapore. I nearly jeopardised my own future by procrastinating "filling up" the application form, (I cannot believe I procrastinated) and I was rushing to complete everything by today. By hook or by crook I did! Despite a "happy ending", I'm not proud of myself. I hated myself for procrastinating such crucial tasks that makes my future. I nearly break my future. I'm so mad with myself.

I should have written down the CCAs and competitions that I participated in during 2004 - 2006 and handed it to my form teacher who will write a testimony for me (which is required to be attached to the scholarship form) on Thursday. No, I have to surrender to laziness and reluctance in doing it on the same school day as I thought, "Nothing could ever go wrong on Friday - I can pass it to her tomorrow and presto! A testimony on Saturday! Then I can mail it!". =D It sounded like a good plan to me.

So after trying hard to jumpstart my brain and prompt for memories, I finally finished the whole list and I planned to pass it to her at the end of her lesson. The bell rang and off she went in a rush to the staff room and to her car. I tried finding her but I lost her until I realised she must be heading to her car! =O So off I went while I alerted my fellow prefect to stop her car! She wasn't able to, unfortunately.

I quickly ran down and ran with all my might, trying to chase her car when I realised I wasn't a cheetah. I couldn't do anything except to watch helplessly at the disappearing white car. I was panicking by then. My plan "failed" and I hate it when things don't go to my plan! I resorted to asking my form teacher's phone number from a friend.

To cut a long story short, I finally contacted her at around 5 p.m. and she asked me where is my CCAs list. So I explained from A to Z. *phew* Thank goodness she roughly knew what was happening, so she asked me to pass her the list the next morning. At that time, I was worried. What if I wasn't able to finish everything up on time? I didn't want to worry myself on what will happen the next day, so I forgot about it until the next morning.

I passed the list to her and she wrote quite a nice testimonial of my involvement in CCAs. I then got permission from her to use the computer laboratory and type out everything since she was a slow typist herself (she admitted it to my class =P ). I spent roughly 45 minutes to finish everything and let the relevant authorities to sign my CCAs testimonial. Once all was done, I went back to my class, exhausted but gleeful that I could finish it on time (or so I thought)!

Another drama unraveled when I was on my way back home. My mom told me that the courier services are closed on Saturday afternoons. Worries began to haunt my thoughts. How? I was exasperated and acted like a loony out of desperation. I asked my mom whether she could make phone calls to the courier services and enquire for their business hours.

I showered peacefully for 10 minutes assuming that one of the companies are still operating. After stepping out of shower, I was told that UPS will close at 2 p.m. sharp and I had little than 15 minutes to complete everything and to allow ample driving time. I flustered (and how I wished I didn't - adrenaline was already pumping throughout my body!) and quickly retrieved the application form and the CCAs testimonials and quickly enter the more important CCAs into the 'Co-Curricular Activites' field. I did not realised I took part in so many competitions and activites - I was mostly involved with Malay, Computer and English competitions as well as UNSW ICAS competitions. I had no idea how I am going to fit all that in to 10 rows. I had to omit some as there wasn't much choice. There was no time to print out extra rows. I had to even merge some recurrent activities together into one field and wrote a few years under the Year field. =S

I seriously hope I had not done anything wrong. I hope they will overlook the mistakes I made in some records of the 'Level of Participation' field plus the activities weren't "really sorted" in chronological order since I took part in quite a number of activities in successive years. =S

Besides that, I failed to comply an instruction as there wasn't enough time to do that. I will not say which instruction in case the relevant parties stumble into this blog! =O I really hope I will still be considered for the scholarship despite the flaws I made. I should not have done everything at the last minute. I have not even checked whether I filled up all fields or not! *gives an aghast look*

Oh my goodness. I seriously am in big trouble. I honestly do not intend to waste anyone's time (i.e. the teachers) for writing my testimonials due to my procrastination. =( My habit got a little bit too far this time. I nearly cried just now as I was quite certain this scholarship will not be secured since it was nearly 2 p.m. when my mom left to mail the form via UPS which closes at that time.

My mom told me that she had to argue with a UPS employee as there was no flight to Singapore until Tuesday. So that means my application form will fail to reach the Singaporean Ministry of Education on time, and I'll be so doomed! Instant rejection, I can already imagine! =(

Thankfully, my mom was given DHL's telephone number and thank God, the last delivery to the airport was at 3.30 p.m. =D. She quickly filled everything up and the delivery was done by DHL, even though this means my mom has to fork out US$16.00 to pay the delivery charges. I'm rather embarrassed to say this, but money wasn't the issue at the moment, as long as it reaches Singapore safe and sound by Monday, 16th of April 2007!

Shipping Tracking

So far so good, but I pray hard that it will reach there on time. It's been a while since I last prayed... =\

Never again will I ever take deadlines for granted, thinking that "Oh, it can be postponed!". Maybe my school teachers will allow that, but I don't think serious business like this do entertain that. That is why deadlines were established in the first place! I am ashamed of my actions. It brought me considerable trouble, not only to me, but to my mom and teachers.

What more, procrastination nearly ruined my future! =O

What's the story behind the procrastination that sparked this drama I hate to experience again?

My reason sounds rather embarrassing and very illogical. =( I was simply perplexed with the whole CCAs testimonial process. I wasn't quite sure who to turn to, who to ask. In fact, I hate asking these sort of questions. I find it really awkward. To tell you the truth, I strive to not let anyone know that I'm applying for this scholarship, but of course that's kind of impossible.

There are reasons for keeping that as a secret. One is due to my pseudo-kiasuism nature (I do not want people, especially my rivals, to apply for this too once they know I'm applying and make the competition stiff *sigh*) and another reason is because I dislike people questioning why or to know about this. I don't know, I feel really uncomfortable if people know that. I prefer doing things quietly and letting them know when the time is right, whenever it is. At least I can retreat silently if I fail to get it.

They're mostly personal, and maybe a deep-rooted yet non-existent reasons cultivated in my character which drives me to keep my mouth shut and say "Mom's the word". I tried to force myself to tell the relevant parties about it but I just don't know whom to approach. It wasn't until I read Mona Lisa's blog where she stated that she is going to apply for the scholarship as well (Yay?). So I e-mailed her and she replied that I have to get the teachers to write it for me. I'm quite surprised why my school does not keep records like these for the students. Maybe they do, but it's out of the student's limits...

After MUCH hesitation (my heartbeat rate increases when I try to approach my form teacher to ask about this matter, so I never asked =( ), I finally asked my form teacher (well, the deadline was looming closer!) where to obtain it and she said that she has to write it. Everything pretty much went downhill from there.

I know my fears are irrational. Even I myself don't understand what and why I'm worried. If it weren't for them, I would have handed up the application form eons ago!

All in all, I'm glad that everything somehow turned up alright but I know that is no cause for celebration. My application form has to pass the "panel of judges". If it can't, well, that's it. Sayonara to education in Singapore. I guess I can understand why since at the end of the day, it was all my fault for messing things up. *choke* I don't want it to happen, even though I will know it was my procrastination and fear which leads me to my failure. I really did not have to courage to speak out my desires. Maybe due to potential embarrassment, maybe due to fear, maybe I disliked troubling people... =(

I wonder in amazement how I still "did not really learn the lesson" after countless cases of troubles procrastination has led me to. Am I waiting for my procrastination to bring catastrophe into my life and add the prefix in- to my sanity?

Despite all these, I want to be given a chance to go to Singapore to be educated and receive valuable experiences. I hope... I pray... Amen.

[+] There's more!

7 April 2007

From:that frolicsome kid
To:Whom this may concern
Date:7 April 2007, 22:24
Subject: School is Becoming a Drag  

Classes are SO boring!I do not understand why this feeling must arise at my last high school years. Why must the previous teachers last year resign from the school and abandon us lost, naive students alone at the mercy of incompetent teachers? I do not look forward to self-study sessions but since these circumstances leave me no choice, I guess I have to begin doing so.

I enjoyed doing Chemistry and Malay. Note the past tense. I am very discontent with the way I was taught these two subjects. I begin with Chemistry. Last year, I found the study of Chemistry highly intriguing; the way how n=G/Mr formula works, periodic table, redox reactions, acids and bases, elements and compounds. It was quite fun working these out.

Come this year. When I first knew my Chemistry teacher has been swapped, I could have smacked my hand against my forehead. I learned from comments made by various students that he isn't a very good Chemistry teacher. I shook negative thoughts aside and dismissed them as rumours. I reasoned that the students simply did not pay attention in class, so they are scapegoating the teacher.

Forward a few months, and here I am today, struggling badly to comprehend the complexities of my Chemistry textbook. Bombastic terms like endothermic, exothermic, inert electrode etc. attacked me. It was not too bad at the beginning since the syllabus was rather tame. From electrolysis onwards, everything ran downhill. I cannot understand the logic behind it. The explanation offered by the teacher was too vague.

As my insatiable curiosity at these new knowledge is eating me away, I fired questions that is relevant to the topics and I wasn't looking for an advanced answer. A simple and brief explanation would suffice since knowledge of the topics at a higher-level knowledge isn't required. I feel sad when he wasn't able to answer or he misunderstood my question and rambled random answers. His explanation of "It's very complicated; you don't need to know at this level" is a shoddy excuse, in my honest opinion. It just goes on to prove that he himself do not know the subject matter very well.

There wasn't much I can do. I only sat there and stared in horror at my teacher who quickly resumed his teaching. Putting my trust with that teacher is not a wise move. When that happens, I get angry and rebellious (which I'm normally not) with the teacher. I do not want to say this, but deep down, I feel he is not fit to be a teacher, if even a question like mine baffles him.

To make matters worse, his class is like a zoo gone loose. He cannot control the discipline of the students at all! People talking loudly without being considerate towards other students is a common sight. Many of my friends have begun picking up a novel and read underneath their desks while the lessons are being conducted. I wished I could join them but I forced myself not to and tried in vain to make sense of his disjointed and fragmented explanations. I noticed that some of the questions I asked were important points which need to be addressed to the whole class. He will have "forgotten" if I hadn't raise them. =(

The Chemistry topics I'm at loss now is the calculation of the enthalpy change of endo- and exothermic reactions. The textbook did not elaborate much on this but there are quite a number of questions which prompts this topic. Nothing clicked in my head; I could only stare and stare at the question, half the time wondering what the question meant and how to attempt it.

I have to go online and search for answers. Unfortunately, answers did not came to me. =( I wished going to see him would be a great idea but knowing the blur him, I'm not too sure whether that will be a wise idea. I place my big doubt on his credibility of the subject matter, sorry to say that.

It's a shame to see my Chemistry knowledge to remain stagnant at a Year 10's level. I want to work on it and I am trying to. Reading the textbook does help a lot, but certain topics are still a blur to me.

I used to be doing quite well for Malay. Ever since a primary school Malay teacher began teaching us last year, I wasn't able to see myself demonstrating a higher level of Malay. Through gut feelings, I can in fact see my language level steeply dropping to a level similar to that of a Year 1 student. Maybe I'm exaggerating, but the drastic drop in my Malay fluency cries for urgent remedy and attention.

I'm bored of her lessons. The content that was taught to us was too low for our level standard. Maybe it's good for Year 7, but definitely not for Years 10 and 11. Why did she try to set the bar so low? I definitely wasn't mentally challenged and stimulated. I looked forward to vocabulary drills (fine, maybe I don't, but something similar and less harsher). I was really disappointed when all we did were recaps after recaps of what we did in junior high, and even elementary level! =O It felt like I was pushed down to Year 7!

When the work is not challenging enough and is good only for remedial lessons, I get frustrated and bored easily. I did not even bother reading up Malay novels, which I haven't done so properly for at least a year. I regretted stopping the reading. =( I have to suffer the consequences now. Shoddy essays written with vocabulary matching those of Year 5 or 6 with the essays not properly developed and expounded. This can be shown in my marks which are lower than most students, who usually "performed lower than me" (I know it's not the correct phrase, forgive me for using a bad substitution).

She is becoming worse this year. She wants us to do mind maps! *shriek* Mind maps?! No, definitely not for me. I write points in an organised form, not a forest of facts swarming around in the paper. I was really upset but I did not want to voice out my opinions. I was hoping that would be the last time of doing mind maps, but no! We were even asked to do mind maps of essays to be put on display at our classroom's notice board and the school's notice board. We did one again prior to doing our essay just this morning.

Oh my goodness! =O

Why mind maps? Can't they be made optional prior to writing out an essay? Heck, why do a 150 worded mind maps when a coherent essay can be written for 300+ words. For the sake of O Levels, mind maps are not required. I don't use mind maps at all! At the very least, I note down in point form the points I need to use beforehand, otherwise I write spontaneously. Not do a stupid mind map!

That sent me over the edge. Lessons which bore the hell out of me + doing pointless exercises which in no way do they contribute to refine our Malay = I give up (paying attention in class)! Of course, I slackened. I hate it! I dislike the teaching methods.

I find her "annoying" at times too, especially when she tries to apply "psychology methods" on us. I don't really get what she is trying to achieve here. Is she trying to scare us into doing our work by putting our assignment marks at stake? Maybe it works well on primary kids, but this scare tactic fails to scare many of my classmates. *sigh*

On the other hand, I'm glad that I accepted the Physics teacher as he is. He's not too bad compared to the two aforementioned teachers, even though the lessons may get slightly boring at times. His explanations were quite good though and I think that's enough already.

School suddenly seems unbearable with my dislike of two subjects. I wish I do not blame the teachers for this but I feel that the fault lies with them. Maybe it's my attitude which spurs me to give up my dependency on them (because of bad teaching) and do everything myself independently. Is it wrong to blame the teachers for everything? I don't think it is in my case... =S Maybe I should give them another chance and just accept their way of teaching to save my sanity and my grades...

The impending O Levels is looming closer. Why must this happen at this crucial time? =(

[+] There's more!

5 April 2007

From:that frolicsome kid
To:Whom this may concern
Date:5 April 2007, 22:23
Subject: Taking a Short Break  

5 April 2007 - I hate taking breaks like this again. Unfortunately, there are many things to do in school as well as extra-curricular activities that I have participated and do. There are many things I want to blog about, such as jealousy, tutoring friends and sudden hatred bred towards some subjects. Time is not on my side and I'm sleep deprived (okay, so maybe 6 or 7 hours of sleep is sufficient for you, but not for me). Since there is no school tomorrow, I want to take that opportunity to catch up on my schoolwork and research purposes. Hopefully, I will see you guys soon!

21 February 2007 - Hey everyone! I hope you don't mind me taking a short break from the blogosphere because I need to settle my academic life and tackle my priorities. I definitely will be back as soon as they are done (probably a few days to a week). =)

I catch you guys later! =D

[+] There's more!

1 April 2007

From:that frolicsome kid
To:Whom this may concern
Date:1 April 2007, 21:59
Subject: Mistakes  

My brother committed a grave mistake. In his fury, he condemned a religion and its God in a tagboard at my other board. Fortunately, there were few responses to his tag, but it devastated me. How could my brother committed such idiotic and major sin of putting the damn on other people's religion? I know he did not purposely do it, but still....

I am so confused and lost in my own angry thoughts. I need sleep... I really hope this matter could be resolved tomorrow.

[+] There's more!