19 November 2006

From:that frolicsome kid
To:Whom this may concern
Date:19 November 2006, 21:51
Subject: Anger  

Aaarrrgggghhhh!!!Yesterday, I was unlucky enough to meet two very angry people. Luckily, I was able to keep my cool despite their anger influencing my unstable emotions. It wasn't a pretty sight, and I tried to cool them down.

The first fuming person who I encountered was my team mate in an inter-school competition finals. It was about some computer studies quiz which was pretty tough even for the participants, and the audience there. So this girl here, my team mate, answered questions (in MCQ form) directed at her wrongly. In fact, she didn't managed to answer all of them correctly and she was unable to buzz in quick enough for the speed round. In short, she felt she has let her school down horribly and disappointed with her performance. Her anguish very quickly turned into anger and I think she started to blame herself as our school got last position in the finale, but third nationwide.

I don't blame her for messing up badly on the real day. I really sympathized for her as the questions directed at her were pretty tough, even my brain couldn't process an answer. It was bad, hard really. There was one question which every computer student should know, but she couldn't answer that. It was ironic that she was enrolled into the finals by a computer teacher at my school although she didn't take up Computer Studies. She even questioned that herself. But I think that the computer teacher knows that she has the potential and ability to remember all the computer facts (just because she was competent with HTML, CSS, some Flash and Adobe Photoshop).

So after the result was announced, we went off the stage formally. A staff there ushered us to an exit which no one took except for us. Her face "scrunched up" into many frowns and I was starting to worry that she was about to blow! She hit the door that leads to another room with her fist, pretty strongly in fact. Thank goodness she didn't hurt herself. I can only do nothing but keep quiet and try not to worry too much about her as it was normal for people to let out their frustrations that way. Knowing her tempers, I was surprised that it sort of escalated to that level. Later on, I tried to console her by telling her not to worry too much about it, that everything that we were stressing so much about is over etc. It didn't quite work as she had totally fogged up her thoughts with anger. At least she still can control her temper and talk quite normally, except that she was more frank, direct and a bit rude.

I tried consoling her from time to time after the competition, and I think it sort of worked. She slowly cooled herself down and slowly recovered, although I knew deep inside, she was still worked up. Luckily, our teachers didn't say much. At least they didn't expected so much!

Seeing her getting worked up at how much she messed up the quiz, I can't help but remember what happened many years ago when I was in Primary 5. I could almost relate my experience to hers. It was during an inter-school Maths competition finals. Sadly, I was able to answer one question on the real day and even that question was answered with the help secretly offered by my team mate (he wasn't supposed to as it was an individual round, and no team discussion is allowed). I just stared and blinked for the whole of the competition. It was really embarrassing. I feel so useless on that day. It made the courses on mental arithmetic that I took redundant, and it sort of knocked on my confidence for Mathematics. My school won anyway, no thanks to me.

The next year, I was once again invited or rather "forced" to join the competition but I backed off this time. I knew I wasn't capable for such mathematical-intensive competitions. Indirectly, I told the teacher-in-charge that I express no intention to join on that year. That angered him, and he told me that he would give me several days to think through it. When the days were up, I got pretty scared and somehow I went to toilet and that was the time he came to my class to look for me. I wasn't there, and I remember one of my friends telling me that he was really really mad and even cursed me (or something less harsher, I really don't know). I have never felt so intimidated in my life. He never forced me to join again, as he can't do anything anymore. That really make me start to dislike Maths even more and I felt quite incompetent when it comes to doing calculations. I tried avoiding meeting him as I walk past him. It was scary I tell you. Lucky for me I moved to my present school the next year, and I can't tell you how very relieved I am of not seeing him again.

So yes, I can relate myself to her situation. Teachers who expect things highly from us make situations worse, but fortunately for her, it wasn't really the case. She's okay now, and I'm glad that she is!

The second person who got enraged yesterday was my very own little brother. According to him, he got mad because his online game kept 'lagging' (he kept putting the blame on the Internet connection, but I blame the game's server/spyware/adware) and he got disconnected several times. Finally, his patience running thin, he acted up and hit on his keyboard and system unit very hard. I didn't know what had came to him until he came to my room frowning and in a state of depression and tried in vain the game again with my mother's laptop. I guessed that it didn't work as he stormed out again to watch TV. I scolded him for getting angry over little things. I should have kept my mouth shut.

He wasn't feeling entertained of course. When it was time to go out and cycle, he went out and cycled very very slowly in a bad mood. It was a very endearing seeing my brother who is normally cheerful and happy to be very angry over a game. He's a violent kind of person actually, but he sometimes ensure that his temper is kept in check. I dare not or rather was too lazy to console him, but I was worried about him at the same time. I ended up chatting with him online even though he was a few inches away using the laptop. I felt more comfortable chatting with him than confronting him and asking what's wrong. Eventually, he found other things to entertain himself and he then forgot what got him so worked up!

It's really interesting but scary (of course!) to see how people let out their anger. Some hit on something, some like to shout out, some like to cuss and swear constantly (mantra to cure anger), some rather suppress it and hope the anger would go away (like me), some show anger on their face and stay silent throughout their anger (like me), some like to scapegoat (like me), some spill out their anger on their friends and close ones (like me) and some even want to chronicle their anger on their diary/blog (like me!). I know one who tried to smile when she is angry!

How many times did that 'like me' phrase appear? *chuckle*

Anger isn't a very nice feeling to experience, and it's not fun to encounter angry people. I wish I know how to cool people down from their flared anger. I couldn't really do that, and more often than not it only made them more angry! I can get angry pretty easily too, even over the most menial things, I admit. But now, I try to control my anger and make sure they don't affect the people around me but I fail sometimes.

Being angry means that anger can cloud your sane consciousness and you might do really stupid or foolish things that you will end up regretting later. It happened to me a few times.

But then it's only human to be angry, isn't it? Patience is the key to manage one's anger. I salute to those who can do so! I can't! Hehe...

Comments (13):

Good post on anger.
Most times when I'm angry I just don't say anything but occasionally I speak up and complain, ha,ha..

I think the best way to handle angry people is to either leave them alone or listen to them rant until they are done..

Love your thoughts and post. A great way to get your feelings out. Keep writing. You'll get your novel finished. I have faith in you.

Hey Happy and Blue 2! Yep, I agree. Angry people are best left alone or us acting as a sponge to absorb all their angry rants. It's a challenge for me to not get angry myself when I hear their rants!

Hi mimi! Thanks =).

Very often I think that it's other things that actually is behind their anger. The thing we get to see is just the trigger.

Some people have a lot of agression on the inside that they haven't let out and it has to boil sometime...

Angry people is blocked and very difficult to reach. I agree with H&B2, let them rant at that moment. Maybe talk to them about it at another occasion.

It's a pity though, because the anger is mostly striking themselves.

Hahaha! I know that when I'm angry, I cut off myself from everyone and tell them through my sour face that I'm angry, really angry, and they should approach me with caution should it be necessary!

Anger isn't fun though. Makes people so not themselves.

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