30 May 2007

From:that frolicsome kid
To:Whom this may concern
Date:30 May 2007, 12:31
Subject: Re: ASEAN Scholarship  


We refer to your application for the above scholarship and regret to inform you that you have not been successful.

It hit me in the head. My mood instantly shattered, and I could hear in the distance the sound of a door slamming tight shut. The alternative path of my future has suddenly disappeared. I guess I'll be educated locally. I was sort of expecting it, but there was the glimmer of hope inside me when I saw the letter which was addressed to me. At least I did grab hold of the opportunity but I guess I'm not good enough. I can understand why: I did everything last minute, and too undeserving of the scholarship (and I broke a rule).

Wow, this is a major bummer! =( It's like a slap in the face.

From another point of view, this is a wake up call. I guess this is a lesson learned. Hopefully I will learn from it. I thank you guys for the support you gave to me and I am sorry for breaking this bad news to you. =(

On the other hand, wish me luck for the running race later. I am doubting my own abilities; it has been so long since I last exercised consistently.

[+] There's more!

From:that frolicsome kid
To:Whom this may concern
Date:Same date as above, 12:30
Subject: Links to My Favourite Blogs  

I was tagged by mrs. lifecruiser. This is pretty good to earn yourself some potential friends. Follow the instructions below carefully.

“~Start Copying Here~” and copy all the things listed without removing the links (Of course, the train would be no use without those links).

Move all the sites labeled “Enjoyable finds” to the list labeled “Oldies”.

Add 5 sites that you want to include in the train under Enjoyable Finds and make their “Visit My Site” link like this: http://redirect.alexa.com/redirect? along with this add the url of the blog you are choosing.

Example: http://redirect.alexa.com/redirect?soliloguy.blogspot.com (This is my blog that I’m using as the example)

Then invite them to join the train.

Visit all the listed sites using the “Visit My Site” link. (I hope the blogs I have chosen will participate. I would appreciate it bunches if you do and please let me know if you have :-).

Make sure to go to Alexa and see your blog rankings :-).

Enjoyable finds:

Annelisa's ~ visit my site!
katelyn's ~ visit my site!
madd's ~ visit my site!
Maryam's ~ visit my site!
Mimi's ~ visit my site!
The Technobabe's ~ visit my site!
Terra Shield's ~ visit my site!
TopChamp's ~ visit my site!
The Urban Monk ~ visit my site!
whenn's ~ visit my site!


TorAa Mirror ~ visit my site!
RennyBA’s Terella ~ visit my site!
Coffe 2 go ~ visit my site!
maremagnum ~ visit my site!
Tricia’s Musings ~ visit my site!
aka R’acquel ~ visit my site!
Fruit Of The Spirit ~ visit my site!
Hootin’ Anni ~ visit my site!
Irish Church Lady ~ visit my site!
lazaza83 ~ visit my site!
Soul Glo ~ visit my site!
Sword Girl ~ visit my site!
Frolicsome Kid ~ visit my site!
Dackel Princess ~ visit my site!
Lifecruiser ~ visit my site!
Writer’s Cramps II ~ visit my site!
Quilly’s Quips ~ visit my site!
… a work in progress ~ visit my site!
Ever After… My Way ~ visit my site!
Insanity Prevails~"Visit my site"
My Romantic Home~"Visit my site"
fairiebees~"Visit my site"
Exceedingly Mundane~"Visit my site"
Smokey Mountain Breakdown~ "Visit my site"
Kaliblue - Visit My Site
Just me shann - Visit My Site
Tigger Bob’s- Visit My Site
Star8278- Visit My Site
Asara Dragon- Visit My Site
A Little Piece Of Me - Visit My Site
The Rocky Mountain Retreat - Visit My Site
Scrappin…with life in this New Year of 2007 - Visit My Site
Rhonda’s Blog - Visit My Site
Skittles’ Place - Visit My Site
Cruftbucket- Visit My Site
Goldercoaster - Visit My Site
ComedyPlus - Visit My Site
eJabs- Visit My Site
UntwistedVortex - Visit My Site
The Chronicles of My Life - Visit My Site
I am Who I am - Visit My Site
WebStyle - Visit My Site
Endangered Spaces - Visit My Site
CoolAdzine for Marketers - Visit My Site
Rinsem’sRink - Visit My Site
Sean’s Ramblings - Visit My Site
MacBros Place - Visit My Site
Can’t Coach That - Visit My Site
Critical Assumption - Visit My Site
Foreign Perspectives - Visit My Site
Carl Pei - Visit My Site
Swapw - Visit My Site
Life of a School Bus Driver - Visit My Site
Tamiki - Visit My Site
Bobs’ Reformat This - Visit My Site
Shawn Knight - Visit My Site
Kelly Cho - Visit My Site
JohnChow dot com - Visit My Site
DoshDosh.com- Visit My Site
Jane May Blogs - Visit My Site
Ms. Danielle - Visit My Site
Stock Trading 101 - Visit My Site
Ed Lau - Visit My Site
Derrich.com- Visit My Site
Nate Whitehill - Visit My Site
Gary Lee - Visit My Site
MakeMoney Online with a 13-year Old - Visit My Site

~End Copying~

If your website appears above, then consider yourself tagged. =) Have fun!

[+] There's more!

26 May 2007

From:that frolicsome kid
To:Whom this may concern
Date:26 May 2007, 22:16
Subject: To a bank I have gone  

Cash Deposit Machine isn't easy to operate!After I have sat for my Chemistry practical exams, I decided to make a visit to a bank and make my very first deposit using the Cash Deposit Machine in the bank. Normally, there wouldn't be so much commotion just to deposit a small sum of money but I'm excited and anxious. Cash Deposit Machine is foreign to me and I had not the slightest idea on how I can operate it.

I remember when I was first introduced to the machine, I saw preprinted instructions on the machine so I thought, "How bad could it be?". Today, after amassing a decent sum of money, I requested for my driver to make a detour to the bank on my way home. Inside the car, I was being paranoid. I tried to memorise my PIN for quite a long time, repeatedly opening my wallet and taking a peek at my PIN number the bank included in a letter which was sent to me quite some time ago. I clung on false hope that I can remember the silly numbers when I am about to deposit the money.

I then got out from the car and came face to face with the electronic teller. Ignoring the staff stationed there who can help me (I absolutely refuse to ask for help; I can do it myself! *chuckle*), I went up to the machine. Thank goodness there was no line or no one queuing behind me, or else I will be even more nervous! Squinting my eyes, I tried to locate both the instructions and the slot where I am supposed to insert my ATM card. I found the bright yellowish-green light and happily, I tried to insert my card.

At first, I thought the slot was jammed but after trying to push in the card a few times, the machine suddenly revved up and my ATM card was being sucked in. I became panicky and I recalled a lecture from my Computer Studies class that such machines can confiscate my ATM card! =O When I realised nothing happened for some time, I was praying hard that I won't land myself in trouble with the bank officers for whatever crime I have committed. LOL!

The screen finally changed while prompted me to insert my money into another slot. I tried to seek for it and finally found it with the yellowish-green light flashing. I took out my $10 note and inserted it in in a not so straight manner. The machine purred and thinking that my money is inserted, I tried to insert another plastic note into the machine. When the machine didn't accept it, I became panicky again (yes, I'm that paranoid! =P). I thought to myself the possible reasons why my money can't be inserted. Probably only a note is allowed to be inserted per transaction, but that's pretty ridiculous.

When I was about to realise human tellers are better than machine ones, the machine accepted my deposit and on the screen, one of the phrase showed: "$10*1". I was overjoyed that my machine accepted my money! I then tried to decide which button to press when the arrow saying "Add more money?" was pointing in between two silver buttons. I pushed one of them and the yellowish-green light flashed again.

The rest of the transaction was smooth again. Deposit the note through a slot, wait, click on button, repeat. It's so simple! I wondered why I was having so much difficulty in the first place! =) Once I ran out of money, I hesitantly reread the instructions, double checked the amount of money I deposited and I clicked on OK since I was done. A couple of silent roars and movement of machinery parts, my ATM card slowly emerge from the slot. It was so cool watching it coming out in slow motion! The receipt was then printed out, and I snatched it and quickly ran back to the car which was to drive me home safely. =)

If a question about the pseudo-code of the Cash Deposit Machine ever comes out, I think I know what to write. ;) I experienced the experience already. Hopefully, my next transaction would be easier and boring. =P

Who says all teenagers are comfortable with technology? I certainly belong to the slightly technophobic group who hesitates a lot when exposed to a brand new technology before exploiting its wonder! =P

[+] There's more!

25 May 2007

From:that frolicsome kid
To:Whom this may concern
Date:25 May 2007, 22:02
Subject: Brotherly FIGHT  

My spectacles was attacked by a ballMy little brother drives me really mad at times. Today was especially bad!

We were playing the monkey game with our neighbours. I noticed my brother was acting like some big show-off and being a tough game the entire time, when playing a game of basketball and the monkey game. It all happened very quickly: He tossed the ball hard and just right into my very face and it hit my glasses. My glasses suddenly became deformed and was loosened, and one of the lenses came off too. The whole contraption dropped to the floor.

I was enraged because I wasn't in a very good mood at that time (I'll explain later) and his attitude of playing basketball and that "accident" made me snapped. I was scolding him for being so rough with the ball and I blamed him for wrecking my glasses (thank goodness mine is durable, but I was very concerned about it at that time). Guess what that jerk said?

"Who asked you to wear glasses? Eh!"

It's not my fault if I'm so short-sighted. I hate it when my glasses are disturbed like that. I fear my lens would shatter and the pieces piercing my eyeball. And I fear breaking my glasses because without them, I'm very blur. For your information, my spherical lens prescription for my right eye is -5.00, while my left eye is -5.25. That's very bad. =(

I flamed up! I went up to him, pushed him and called foul names to him (you don't want to know what I called him). I couldn't control myself. I was in a horrible mood already and furthermore, he added insult to injury. I yelled at him, I made him come look for my glasses. And he stormed off! That big baboon!

All this happened in front of my neighbours. It was so embarrassing and the commotion made the situation horribly awkward. I quickly walked back to my house uttering that I'll come back tomorrow and play and immediately stormed up to let my mother know of the unpleasant news.

My brother with his sucky attitude made a cacophony of noises, banged doors and shouted profanities.

Ughhh! I wished I could blog more but I need to revise the essentials for tomorrow's Chemistry practical exam. Keep watch of this blog post.

I'm so mad with him and his cocky attitude, but I'm quite ashamed of myself too for reacting in such a negative way and getting "international attention". =\

Addendum: 26 May, 2007, 23:25

What happened before this (and this ruined my mood) was that my neighbour was being a pest and he was constantly calling my house telephone just to remind me to go to his house and play basketball. I'm pretty much annoyed because I honestly didn't feel like going there due to personal reasons. There are two things that I cannot tolerate: telephone rings and incessant ringing doorbells! Telephone rings usually mean trouble to me. I developed an averse reaction to it. This happened when I was in Year 9 when the whole class had to complete a Computer Studies coursework for the public examinations and a quite a number of my classmates had constantly bugged me about how to do their projects. I mean, hello, why ask me? Why don't you ask our teacher? What makes you think I have all the time in the world to spoonfeed you and complete your project on your behalf. It IS annoying! The worse thing is that this happens everyday, particularly when the deadline was looming near.

That is why I have no intention of having a mobile phone. It's stupid, it's pointless and there exists the formerly MSN Messenger where I could be reached. Did I mention I hate the ringing telephone sound. Kring kring! Kring kring! And some other modern telephone rings that you have, e.g. Nokia ringtone, the standard Ring Ring to your musical ringtone from some music. I totally despise them, especially when they are addressed to me.

Somehow, this affected my tolerance with ringing doorbells too. I associate it with trouble.

So when the doorbell gave its loud shrill constantly, I blew up because I couldn't stand the noise. Naturally, I blamed my brother as he is the only one who is capable of doing it (he has a weird style of ringing doorbells continuously). My mother was pretty stressed about my anger and she told me that my neighbours were the culprit, not my brother. I was very embarrassed and being angry did not help either. =(

My mother gave me a lecture of the importance of exercise and the need to entertain my neighbours who took the pain and trouble of constantly reminding me to go to his house. This went on to no man should be an island (however the phrase goes =S ). It's not that I don't like playing basketball with my neighbours. I just cannot stand their cocky attitude, especially the eldest brother of that family who is a few years my junior. Just because he's the best basketball player of his level, it doesn't mean that he is granted the right to play rough and/or unfairly, or to find the faults of the players whenever he knows he is losing (the extreme kiasuism). I'm alright with his younger sibling, I just can't stand his attitude.

I wanted to tell my mother that but I decided against it as it might prolong the lecture and she might say, "Different people have different attitudes - just bear with it!". Okay, maybe I'm selfish. My mom is right that we sometimes have to please people because they have taken the trouble to invite us everytime. On the other hand, during a Christian religious knowledge lesson, we were told the story of a neighbour who constantly walks to school with his neighbour every morning without fail, until the affected party was sick and tired of walking with him. That's exactly how I feel. I need the space and time away from basketball. I just want to be left alone!

In the end, I shrugged and I hesitated to join my neighbour. I couldn't just show up there wearing a black face and ruin their game, just because I "have a bad mood, I'm showing you my black face so that you will know not to piss me off"! =\ Sadly, I still do that at times (or many times). Nah! I sat in the sofa and wait for time to pass while I sit down there and contemplate my feelings before setting off for another game. I grumbled and I mumbled and I threw some undecipherable baby words.

Somehow during my mother's lecture, she told me that my dad suffers from a minor high blood pressure while she found out that there's something wrong about her breast. It worried me because my parents are the healthiest people I ever know, especially my mother. I was shocked to learn of this fact. Their old age didn't help either. =( Furthermore, my mom had trouble with her office as she realised she has lost a couple of clients in the past years and she's struggling to resolve things. I'm so sorry that I had to trouble her yesterday...

That worsened my mood.

When I was able to drag myself to my neighbour's house, I was already in a fragile state. I perked up when I came to learn that the elder son was not at home for a few days' time and I am so happy because this means I can have loads of fun with my neighbour's kids! =D So I joined in the game. And I noticed that my brother was trying to act cool and all, and he was being a horrible, selfish and conceited team member as he completely disregarded his team member who is the little girl neighbour in kindergarten.

Then, the above had happened.

I was so mad I barged into my parents' room and raised my complain! My mother quickly went down and called my little brother out of the room. Then we were lectured, again! I got twice in one day. That day just couldn't get any better...

Apparently, my brother's actions were accidental. I refused to believe it because he did not apologized to me at all the whole time. I assumed he premeditated his actions. Again I was shocked to realise my possible mistake and I got even angrier and tried to tell my mom in vain that it is not my fault, and that he did it in purpose. His actions following the accident were very provocative; surely it was more than an accident?

Then my mom came to the conclusion that we are spoiled brats!

Of course, I was enraged. I'm not spoilt! And I refuse to believe it. It's very rare that I complain about every single, itty bitty thing that does not please me. I believe that was more than an itty bitty thing. And she said that we turned a small matter into a huge matter. Correction: it's him!

Who was the one who banged the door when I scolded my brother for being careless and having a sharp tongue? Not me... HIM!


Fine. I never owned up that I called my brother a bastard for his actions. I'm so sorry to say that. I know I was chickening out for not admitting that mistake too. IT probably might have hurt his feelings and sent him haywire. Because I sounded that I mean it. At that time, I meant what I said. I know I am such a bad brother. But yeah. I was very annoyed that my spectacles was destroyed in the process. He can toss the ball at any part of my body without igniting me except my head, my face, my spectacles, my neck and especially my vital private parts.

I was very paranoid that my lenses could shatter right in front of my own eyes (despite the very low chance of it occuring) and and glasses frame becoming distorted. I rely heavily on my glasses and I treat it with lots of care. He knows it (this isn't the first time he disturbed my glasses), so why wasn't he careful with it?

As my mom continued lecturing, I suddenly became very disappointed with my brother's sucky attitude. So I broke down and cried because he isn't the same person I know anymore. He is this cold, heartless creature who is influenced by a few of his idiotic acquaintances to become an egoistic, macho-istic and and chauvinistic person. Is this the same brother I know a few years back?

My mom suggested that we have received no canings from her, and that probably explains our wild behaviour. I was shocked and scared that she might really cane us. Her words are enough to puncture my heart. I shudder to wonder what sort of gigantic damage a beating could do.

Despite the incredibility of some of her lecture, somehow they were all true. Maybe I am spoilt and being a whiny, stupid kid who complains at his mother about something my little brother did. Maybe I am just a selfish person who wants nothing but to spend time with himself alone. It's not that. I think I am misunderstood. Despite the extrovert qualities I might display, I don't open up to people unless I'm very close to him/her and sadly, my parents are not included. =(

I have my own perceptions about things and I don't intend to share them with people I know. I keep them to me, myself and I (and with this blog and you guys), thank you. I know this is very selfish of me, but sometimes I can't help it. I'm just like that.

Do I sound spoilt? Am I selfish? Was what I did right? Please, I really need your honest, judgemental answers so that I can correct whatever mistakes I have made and better myself...

After some time had passed and I calmed down a little from my crying (I still can't believe at this age, I'm so prone to crying =(), I went up to my mother and apologized for ruining her day. She looked really tired and stressed out and I sincerely was very sorry for making it worse for her. I also apologized to my neighbour for creating such a scene - that was very immature of me.

I didn't talk to my brother after that. I thought I might never again (maybe until his birthday). Until this morning when I realized I forgot to bring my calculator with me for my Chemistry practicals. I sighed. I had to ask my brother despite the situation - I can't possibly borrow from anyone else.

Put it simply, I had no choice and I wasn't going to keep my pride intact while sacrificing my marks. No way. It's too stupid. So, I inhaled deeply and courageously asked for a calculator.

He did gave me his. And he apologized as he heavily vandalized the screen of his calculator. I told him it didn't really matter. What matters the most is I can still read the screen and operate the calculator properly. Our small chat ended there. We somehow took it as a mutual understanding to put yesterday in the past and to move on in life.


*sigh* Brothers. Family members. Despite the fight, we somehow got back in track although it's a slow recovery.

It really surprises me how easily we (family members) can forgive and forget. =) *blinks away tears* I guess this is the power of love.

[+] There's more!

24 May 2007

From:that frolicsome kid
To:Whom this may concern
Date:24 May 2007, 11:42
Subject: Leisure - A Curse Behind the Boon?  

Leisure activites - must it benefit?I spent my whole afternoon and today fiddling with Adobe Photoshop once again trying to manipulate pictures to create vector artworks (see the boy with his head on the sidebar as an example). I initially wanted to toy around with my Sims but I have a sudden urge to produce another vector art. So I did and I created a decent-looking vectorized Beast Boy from Teen Titans. I was pretty satisfied with the outcome and I'm glad I am since I spent the whole afternoon and night yesterday working on him. =D I tried creating an animal vector today but unfortunately, it ended up looking like a golden idol instead of a live mammal with fur! It looked too odd; I gave up halfway and I resorted to reading books instead.

While vectorizing the pictures, I spent many a happy minute zooming in the details of the picture while exploiting the Pen tool to match the shapes and colours of the original. I enjoy myself immensely. Sometimes, my thoughts wander and I ask myself why I am dedicating so much of my time to such an unproductive job? I thought I was being a spoilsport to think like that. Today is a day off from school! So why am I idling my mind to do such a monotonous job, as from other point of views?

I have this odd notion that I have to make sure every inch of my grey matter has to be occupied and stimulated by my hobbies and whatever things I do, else it wouldn't be termed one and I would simply be "wasting my time". Sure, it's good to give my brain a break once in a while after exerting its brainpower and taxing it, but I don't know how much is too little, or too much. The only thing I can feel is that pangs of regret will bubble up from inside me, and to be frank, I don't know what I regret about.

Back to my vectorizing. It's a wonder how I can spend hours upon hours to try and smooth out the art. The funny thing is that the same results can be achieved by other people in a shorter time and usually with a far better outcome. When I think of that, suddenly I don't feel quite good about it. =S It's like as if it's not on par with the majority.

Now wait a minute! Here I am again comparing myself with others. Why do I have to give myself the unneeded stress? I don't recall I being exceptionally good in art! =P Hahahaha! Come to think of it, vectorizing is my "best" art although it's not very impressive. =P Sometimes, I do wonder why I seek the fun of doing it even though it's not mentally stimulating...

On the other hand, my hobbies can actually be quite addictive! Like reading. Nearing the end of my exams, I picked out a book from my shelf of unread books and I started reading. That was when I rediscovered the joys of reading. I just love to immerse myself into the story - into the author's world and let him or her take me on a wonderful journey where my emotions are toyed with. I feel very satisfied if the whole story itself is pretty good as I know it is time well spent. It feels awful to have read a very thick book only to find that the whole book isn't very interesting or a complete flop. I guess that is why I tend to avoid reading books over 300 pages thick. I doubt its quality. =\

Once the story is wrapped up, I can fly into either a bliss of elation or sadness, depending on the mood of the story. In the end though, I always ask myself, "Is it worth my time to spend reading a novel? In what way does it help me?" Sometimes, I do get the moral behind the story but sadly, I've never tried to apply them in my life. I also tend not to remember the knowledge the author has included in the story. Within a few hours time, I would have completely forgotten what I had just read and continue living normally as if the book has played no significance in my life.

I gain nothing much from novels and yet, I still read them. They are highly entertaining, that's for sure. But, what good can I derive out of them? Am I doing something unproductive, or did I spend my time wisely? Even during the holidays when I have nothing better to do but to read and pass time, I asked myself that question.

Internet is starting to take a toll over my life as it completely displace the rest of my hobbies and I find myself doomed to surf the Internet aimlessly. It's like I'm loitering virtually, as a bad, obsessive hobby. It's weird. There isn't anything much I want to specifically see and yet, I'm losing many hours to my compulsive random online surfing.

Many times, my conscience tell me to stop and get back with reality. I can even feel myself physically tired and want to tear away from the screen. Eerily, there's this part of me which encourages me to continue. And continue I did. Is it wrong to do this during the holidays?

What's worse is, even my school work is quite affected by it. The recent exams I had had is a strong evidence of my sacrificing my study time for the sake of going online! And what more, I do not remember what I was surfing at all! I felt so passive, useless and lazy. What was I doing? Why did I do it? Why do I still continue doing it? All these questions are attacking my brain.

Am I suffering from Internet "addiction"? What was once a hobby became something worse?

I certainly hope not. If I really am, I guess I have take measures to stop it once and for all, seeing that it's not healthy in the long run.


After typing all these out, I realised one thing. I treat everything I do too seriously. It seems like in whatever I do, I try to get the benefit out from entertainment. I don't know why it is a must for me to do beneficial things. So what is really beneficial for me? For me, it is gaining knowledge. My education. Ensuring that the activities I do somehow exercises my brain so that it will not fall into disuse. Yet, the biggest irony is that I'm not paying as much attention to my studies and my physical health anymore. I haven't been catering my brain by feeding it with knowledge. I have slackened, and...well, frankly, I don't care! =O

Are all these feelings a result of too much play, or too much work? It seems like my equilibrium of work and play has been distorted, and the lever is slumping down to one of the extremes rather steeply.

With that said, philosophy is a subject I don't really enjoy indulging and involving myself in! Philosophy, in this case, is "the rational investigation of the truths and principles of being, knowledge, or conduct". Not my own philosophy of living; I do that kind of thinking all the time. =P I seriously dislike delving into this discipline and asking ridiculous questions to get answers that border the level of Socrates (or some other philosopher in history. =S ). That's probably why I have a certain peeve towards people who give you answers that in a way, don't really answer the question and forces the listeners to think instead. I noticed this mainly occuring among the guys and well, it annoys me to a certain extent. I just want a straight answer, not a U-turn answer which ricochets off in a blurred way and doesn't really help.

Thus, logic thinking is a no-no to me. Lol! =D How ironic, don't you think? ;) This, I guess, stimulates my brain a lot and can be "useful" but it's too bad it clashes with my very nature.

Oh great, now I have sucked myself into a vortex of questions. Hoo boy...

Are hobbies and leisure activities good and healthy to pursue (not counting my surfing the Internet as a "obsession" (Is mine that extreme?)?)?

[+] There's more!

20 May 2007

From:that frolicsome kid
To:Whom this may concern
Date:20 May 2007, 15:25
Subject: Just want to get over it!  

Almost done with exams!Okay, a few more days before (or rather, a week more if you count the Sciences practical exams) till exams finally break off and I am left on my free will to do anything I want to do! I can't wait!

I have no idea why Saturday's papers are hard/done horribly (it happened last Saturday too). Yesterday I sat for an English comprehension and Geography Paper 2 and that involves a lot of writing! I love the English comprehension as it piqued my interest once again on the famed ghost ship, Mary Celeste by providing another account from a different perspective what actually happened. We did a comprehension of this before in class, but this one is a different one. I was really spooked out when I read the mysterious chilling accounts when the sailors from Dei Gratia hopped aboard to find absolutely nothing and everything in perfect order. The crew on board were gone and there were no traces of them abandoning the ship. So I spent some time yesterday surfing the Internet and trying to get more information about this mysterious disappearance and creep myself out! =P

There is something about true stories like this which always catches my interest when I fear reading them. I will die of curiosity if I don't read them, and once I read them, I will get really spooked out! =O It's funny, huh?

It's a shame that my summary was overwritten by 15 words. I lack the time. Same thing goes to Geography. Boy, the structured questions, a.k.a. "essays", were tough too. I didn't study thoroughly enough for the paper. I feel quite disappointed with myself since the paper was doable despite it being difficult. =(

What's left is the Geography MCQ paper and another paper on Mathematics. There isn't much to study anymore, so I'm going to spend some time to chill, relax and enjoy (although it's a bit too early to do that). I had had enough. Just finish this and kapish! Whatever... =D

I don't remember me being this eager for the end of exams. Sigh~ I'm just not concentrating anymore. I hope that I won't cram from 9pm - 12am for the mocks as well as the real O Levels; it's just isn't worth it, I discovered. =(

On the brighter note, I am taking precautions from falling into the trap by starting off again with my GCE O Level computer coursework since I was brimming with a fresh idea which can be included in the analysis phase of the project. So I went online this morning and yesterday evening trying to understand as much material as possible before I can put them into words. It's so difficult deciphering what I have read but it's totally worth it. I hope my teacher won't reject my idea just because it's far "too advanced" and advises me to exclude it instead. It would really drive me mad!

I am trying to get back in the habit of reading since it's done in an off and on manner these days, and I have a lot of books in my shelf that are yet to be read. =P

I can't wait for June (holidays), but I am afraid too. I think June's the time (or the end of May) when the Singaporean Ministry of Education will send me a response to tell me whether I am successful in my application for the ASEAN Scholarship or not. =S If I am successful, I'll be sitting for a "qualifying" test in early June. Ugh, the future is so uncertain!

[+] There's more!

12 May 2007

From:that frolicsome kid
To:Whom this may concern
Date:12 May 2007, 16:35
Subject: Streaks of Relief  

Happy!I guess there really is the occasional silver lining behind those dark clouds. I came back from school a couple of hours ago after tackling two of the most mentally stimulating challenging mind-numbing exam papers - and it is not the big one yet.

I'm glad and relieved that I managed to write a pretty good Malay essay - I think it's the best one I have written this year despite the limited vocabulary (but still much larger than most of my peers') I've demonstrated in the paper. (Read this blog post to understand why I say that.)

On the other hand, Paper 2 Maths was a total horror! =O I think I've lost at least 10 marks as there wasn't ample time to think through all. Yes, the few questions which befuddled me totally distracted me and as a result, I lost precious time. *shudder* The paper was insanely difficult albeit most are doable. I think this paper was specially tailored for Saddam Hussein's execution - it was a real murder! =O

Normally, I will get distressed over how badly I've done but not today. I was so relieved that I have managed to sit on my rear and sweated out to finish the paper. Difficult or not, I'm glad that one of the toughest papers I sit for is over for the time being. =) So I went out of the exam hall not knowing why I was there or what my name is momentously before I snapped back from a numerical world of Mathematics to reality! Yep, it's that tough!

Since my exams finished before school lets out, I had to wait for my brother so I stayed back for a while, talking to friends and catching up with acquaintances. I originally intended to do Chemistry past papers but I was so tired and exhausted I decided to do it later at home (yes, I'm going to do it later! =P). Quite a number of happy things happened which made me relaxed, like:

  • The wave of relief hitting me after writing the essay rather "coherently". Nothing pleases me more than writing passionately. =)

  • I finished sitting for the most mind-numbing Maths paper ever! =P

  • Catching up with Mona Lisa about the speech competition she had had yesterday. Turns out she nearly turned out a loser because the inadequate judges made silly calculation errors which is totally unforgivable. I'm so glad that my English teacher who was there got pissed off and demanded to see the marks - she is an eloquent speaker! In the end, she was told rather reluctantly that she was a winner and was qualified for the finale! =D

    I'm so going to show her moral support this time by coming as a supporter on the real day. I couldn't go support her yesterday because I had to stay home and study for my upcoming exams. To tell you the truth, I wasted more than half of my day and I was upset with myself. =( I could have gone there and supported her. I couldn't forgive myself. And I was afraid that she would be disappointed with my absence. Thankfully, she's not. =) (Yes, I was somewhat avoiding her just now, until I assured myself that nothing can go wrong.) My mutual friend was right the first time that she would be understanding about it! =D

  • Talking with Mona Lisa again and hanging out with a few of my girl friends and acquaintances. She cracked a silly stereotypical joke though. And it resonated with so much truth. =D

  • The fact that everyone thought the Maths paper was a killer.

  • And I accidentally *touched* a close girl friend (no, not romantically associated). You see, I was in the midst of telling Mona Lisa about her speech competition until suddenly, someone covered my eyes with their hands. I thought it was one of my guy friends at first, so instinctively, I tried to reach out my hand and try to touch him and guess his identity. That was intentional but what was unintentional is that I touched her sides of her hips. It was so scary!

    It...felt...so...smooth... The skirt material I mean. No, the skirt wasn't thin enough to actually feel the "contours". But, well... Just use your imagination! The doubts I felt at that time! =O

    She suddenly reacted with a "What?"-like grunt/groan and I was so shocked to see that it was a close girl buddy, not what I initially thought. I apologised profusely to her and she forgave me. But what was embarrassing was that it happened in front of a lot of people! =O Sheeesh! =O Everyone around me laughed... And I laughed too. =)

  • My brother's sketch of a teacher in my school. Man, he really has refined so much of his artistic skills! It was incredibly life-like! =O He also drew a portrait of himself and I chuckled. Not because it looked funny or his portrait looked grotesque, but it doesn't look like him one bit! =P But it certainly does give me a probable peek of his future appearance. =) I'm so proud of my brother. =D

  • Annelisa's virtual Walk in the forest. She did a really good job of videoing her daily morning walk and giving us the views of a British forest. It was a beautiful walk! =)

  • Today's a Saturday. A weekend. Yahoo! =D

Who would've known destressing agents are all around us?! The most wonderful thing is that, they mostly come in the form of humans. I guess laughter and joy shared is really laughter and joy doubled! =D Have a great weekend!

P.S. Hey, I just realised that happy blog posts are dotted with emoticons while I use them sparingly in more serious/pensive/sad blog posts. It's so weird, huh? ;)

P.P.S. Great, my neighbour called me to play basketball again. =( I made up my mind. No. Thank goodness I can use exams as an excuse to not play for a fortnight. No questions asked. =)

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11 May 2007

From:that frolicsome kid
To:Whom this may concern
Date:11 May 2007, 12:54
Subject: Abstract Art & Birthday Events  

I discover a funny thing. When it comes to art, I don't give a care about perfectionism and I just let it flow, allowing my emotions to dictate my hands to create abstract art, capturing the very moment of my emotions. A wonderful thank you to Annelisa who tagged me. Take a look at her drawings, they're pretty nice!

Although I have no artistic license, I came up with this at JacksonPollock.org. I think it looks mystifying. =D

Abstract Art 1
My description:

Tunnel of colours with swollen nodes.

Squiggles criss-crossing one another to form a super information highway, with nodes signifying computer terminals and the lines network wires.

Chain of flowers sprouting from stems and from inside the flowers sprout new plants.

Abstract Art 2
My description:

Kid bending down, fascinated by an intriguing purple-looking unidentified object in a colourful forests of colours, with two tributaries flowing through it with high velocity.

I want to share a couple of pointers here. When your cursor touches the screen, immediately a splodge of blank ink will splatter from beneath the cursor. Let your hands move free since you can't really control it. You'll find that, ironically, you have much more control over your drawing. =P

Once you are done, don't forget to move your cursor away from the drawing board, Print Screen it and edit it with your favourite graphics design software, like Paint or Adobe Photoshop. Then showcase your artwork to the whole world via your blog! Of course, this leads to me tagging:

  1. katelyn

  2. madd

  3. R'acquel

  4. Terra Shield

  5. whenn

Hyak hyak hyak! *evil laughter* It'll be great if EVERYONE, besides the tagged ones, can try this out. It's really fun!

Next, another tag by whenn. It's the birthday tag! I don't wish to reveal my birthday as I think it will jeopardise my identity. Nevertheless, you can try and find out. ;)

Instructions to follow:
"Basically you have to type in the day and month of your birthday in Wikipedia and then list 3 events that happened on that day, 2 other birthdays on that day and 1 death. And then you have to tag 5 other bloggers. =)"

3 events:
1928 - The Republic of China is recognized by the United States.
1998 - Google is established.
2002 - Timor-Leste (East Timor) joins the United Nations.

2 birthdays:
1984 - Avril Lavigne, Canadian singer-songwriter
1992 - Jake Burbage, American actor

1 death:
1986 - Cliff Burton, American musician (Metallica)

I'll be tagging:
  1. Annelisa

  2. katelyn

  3. Maryam

  4. R'acquel

  5. Technobabe


Sorry if I have been inactive in the blogosphere; studies have taken up a lot of my time. =( Just to let you know, I am highly considering going cold turkey for at least a week. I think the Internet has really led me astray and I feel a pressing need to unplug my modem now! =(

Or it would be easier to limit my Internet usage. Half an hour a day! =O Hahahaha...

By the way, I haven't forgotten the tags by Irish Church Lady and Sanni. I will get round to doing the memes definitely. ;)

[+] There's more!

10 May 2007

From:that frolicsome kid
To:Whom this may concern
Date:10 May 2007, 22:25
Subject: Perfectionism  

This picture...perfect! Lines are of equal distance away from each other.A Disney Channel Original Movie called Pixel Perfect aired last Sunday, and as the title suggests, it deals with, well, perfectionism! A boon and a flaw of mine. I guess it also plays the biggest factor behind my notorious bad habit, procrastination.

Pixel PerfectWhen I watched this movie, I can empathise with the main characters very well, particularly Samantha who was envious of Loretta's perfectionism. The irony is that Loretta herself isn't real, she's the ingenious hologram conceived by Roscoe. Overall, the movie itself was pretty good - it talks about the journey to humanity of a hologram, it talks about introduction of holographic rock stars, it talks about relationships and the boundary between reality and fantasy. However, the very issue I want to give my ten-cents on is perfectionism almost achieved by Loretta.

Actually, Samantha was pretty jealous of Loretta and her perfection. I can fully relate myself to Samantha who was envious of that pixel girl. Sorry to say this, but I dislike people who seem to be perfect: perfect in every aspect; Jack of all trades, master of all. Especially when the person has strived perfection in the fields I am trying to excel in. I will really get in the dumps with my self-esteem and self-confidence crushed and contemplate how he/she has done it without breaking a sweat.

That was exactly how Samantha felt in the movie about Loretta. Her band was looking for a lead singer as she herself was perceived as a "substandard one". Little did she know Roscoe has unintentionally created an uber-holographic singer who would steal all the limelight from her besides overshadowing her and suppressing her role heavily. Don't you feel uneasy when suddenly, a new person comes into the office and does exceptionally well in jobs you are good in? And you thought you were good. Your successes are overlooked by the manager in favour of that new guy. What more, she is talented and a master of your favourite hobbies and having the temperament of Mother Theresa!

Boy, as much as I love and admire her (if she exists), I would dislike her as much. I never told this to anyone, but sadly, I can be a finicky green-eyed monster. I won't let anyone get in my way of achieving perfectionism, an intangible thing once fulfilled is like nirvana! I just to show everyone my talents and abilities. It's a bummer that there is always someone out there who is better than me. No, I won't be so evil as to go all the way to eradicate that person, but I would certainly feel uncomfortable and very let down.

On the other hand, if I were perfect, I'll breeze though everything and my life will be smooth. On the downside, I am pretty much putting myself in harm's way. I will be scorned at, disgraced, looked down on etc. People will be jealous of me too and that doesn't make my life any easier either.

Alright, maybe I should just accept my flaws and probably work to improve on it. It's only human to err. Even then, I will eventually reach a limit when I can no longer be better. It will be the best of my capabilities and I guess there's only so much one can do.

Speaking of self-improvement, jealousy or admiration of other's achievements do contribute to my motivation of improving myself and tempting me to set mammoth and impossible goals and tasks. Sometimes though, I cannot help but do that, especially when I jolly well know that it is within my capabilities. What makes matters worse is that I am a Jack of all trades but not really a master of anything. All I want is to be extremely good, bordering the best, in something.

*sigh* That is very greedy and selfish of me to have so many talents and abilities. =( It's a shame that it is so much easier said and done. Sometimes, I just wish that I can have them all with just a snap of my fingers, but of course, this is no Aladdin story. =P

The path to perfection is a blessing and a very big curse as well. It shows that I care a lot about my work but it also shows how distracted I am whenever mistakes pop up. It also gives the impression that I show too much redundant meticulousness and wasting my time over something "insignificant".

Perfectionism also explains my reluctance of taking the first step of doing anything. Annelisa sums it up as avoidance. Yes, perfectionism tempts me to get everything right the first time. The problem is my plans conceived are not always good. That sets me back further.

Fear of erring. Fear of failure. Fear of outcome. Most significantly, fear of the unexpected. =S

It shatters my dream of achieving anything. Perfectionism. *shakes head* I'm not used to making "mistakes". I fear encountering them. I try to shy away from them. But ironically, without them, how will I ever learn things?

Samantha tried to mimic Loretta to impress everybody. In the end, she had a horrible fall and she went into a relapse. She was later rescued by Loretta. Sure, Loretta was flattered but she herself longs to have a sense of touch and human emotions. In the end, it goes to show that nobody is indeed perfect.

Hmm... I seriously shouldn't let perfectionism get too much in the way of my life. I wish it could stop right now! I really should start appreciating whatever abilities and talents (if any) I have right now. Now, when comparison meets perfectionism, then the REAL trouble begins.

You are looking at the victim.

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