15 February 2007


From:that frolicsome kid
To:Whom this may concern
Date:15 February 2007, 21:37
Subject: Life Ain't A Fairytale  

Life is not equal to fairytales.Due to school-related stuffs, I was unable to blog the last week. =( I am utterly exhausted from having to do important assignments and schooling six days a week (despite our school hours running from 7 am to about 1 pm). Yesterday, I was rushing through my Commonwealth Essay as the deadline was today (and I barely met it) and because it was done at the eleventh hour, it turned out looking like a shoddy and sloppy piece of essay. =( The topics were quite hard this year and I think that is one of the main causes why I procrastinated.

Thus, I wrote it half-heartedly as I ran out of fresh ideas. It was horribly standardized and I doubt the judges would even read past the first paragraph before tossing it into the bin. *sigh*

Two days before the deadline, I was struggling to brainstorm out ideas for my essay. It took many hours later for me to decide to switch to another topic. I was unsure of the facts itself, therefore I failed to deliver my opinions. So instead, I wrote another topic which to my utter disappointment was not done well. Nevertheless, I am glad that I managed to shove this essay away from me. *weak smile*

While I was writing, I was loathing to my best friend the obstacles I had to overcome (i.e. my procrastination). I think I typed more words in our online chats than in my essay. =\ I can't believe I wasted so many precious hours just moaning and groaning to him how arduous my work was!

After I finally concluded my visit to one of my friend's blog, I suddenly entered panic mode and cold, harsh reality sank in. I had an essay to write, and I was faced with a blank document, except for the few paragraphs. It was pretty discouraging. Yes, I know I was a NaNoWriMo participant and 1500 words is "pretty easy" to manage.

I thought so too. I was overconfident. And that overconfidence brought my downfall, once again.

I began ranting to him how much I was strayed off track and I poured my disturbed emotions over him. I feel sorry for him having to bear my incessant rants. =( I am thankful that he can still manage to drill reality into my head. Thanks man, I really need that! =)

Like how I pathetically wrote 2 paragraphs in 3 hours. And he knowing that I find thrill in doing work at the last hour. They're all true and I don't deny it. Okay, I did but we knew it's true! =P Your sarcasm sure bites, mister! And they bite hard! =O (And I needed this shock therapy once in a while or rather everytime, lol!)

Then I began to get serious about my attitude. Sure, I may finish my essay minutes before my English teacher steps into class. Unfortunately if that continues, I'm not going to lead a very successful life.

I know this might sound really shocking, but I have this conceived belief that life is like a fairytale. I'm serious! It sounds childish but I hold onto that thought! I always feel that whatever I do, it will have a happy ending. If the ending is not happy, then it's not quite the end yet. Besides, isn't that what most stories in novels and movies are like - happy endings which will move me to tears or make me go "Yes!"?

It's rather ironic that I did not even try to put in the effort myself. I do things half-heartedly if it isn't to my desire. I loathe work. I dislike doing it. I rather do things that matter most to me (i.e. nothing at all!). The funny thing is, I like work as well, in the sense that it keeps me occupied and giving me a sense of purpose. In other words, I shun and love it!

Over-optimism is what I call it. Then at certain times, I can feel over-pessimistic. =S

To put it simply, I treated life like a fairytale and I think that belief is very self-damaging. Guess the advice I was given by this best friend of mine? =)

Your life is a book in writing, not a written one. As your life goes on, so does your story... It will never be completed till the day you die. Quote from best friend




I never thought of it that way. Now that he had mentioned it, I pondered about it since I like to write (and end with a happy ending). He then took the words out of my mouth by saying that I feel as though whatever things I do will turn out well in the end. The weird thing is that many, many times the work I have done always turn out well and it further strengthens my belief. Self-damaging success? =S

Does that mean I am waiting for failure now? Maybe... There's that part of me that yearns for failure and once I have experienced it, it will be like a shock therapy and I will change for the better. So far, the failures in my life have yet to affect me? =S I don't know, I don't get it myself. I don't learn from mistakes? Or must be mistakes be so grave and profound that it will affect my mind, body and spirit?

Our conversation ended with these three important values that I will always remember for life:
  1. Set goals
  2. Prioritize
  3. And most importantly, to take things that matter seriously


I failed to do any of these three... But I really must try my best to uphold these characteristics in order to be successful. Even one of my teachers explained about these to us in class.

I admit, I have read a lot of books on how to succeed in life. They are fun to read and they always motivate me. I never applied them though...

Maybe it's high time that I should.

......

I am really thankful that I have such a good friend in life who tries to give me a push in times of need. Especially at this crucial year where I'll be sitting for that important GCE 'O' Levels exam in November.

*sigh* It's time to begin... Screw procrastination and laziness; may these two demons go back to hell, lol! >=)

On the other hand, maybe I was slightly disturbed by the thought that I have yet to tell the Deputy Principal about me wanting to drop Sociology... I don't know why I hesitated to confront her. Why am I so afraid of telling her about my confirmed decision?


------------


Let's talk about my Valentine's Day. I thought it was a rather ordinary day, except very overrated and exaggerated. Ugh~ People get lovey-dovey and mushy-gushy at this one day of the year and what about the rest of the 364 days? And oh my, how commercialised has it been especially in this 21st century!

That wasn't what St. Valentine's Day was originally intended for. Our Christian Religious Knowledge teacher explained to us about its origins, and it was then only I realised how beautiful the story behind really was.

So much have changed over those years. (Fine, maybe I'm a bit biased towards this because I'm single and I have no "proper" girlfriend. But hey, I can always shower my love 365 days, not on that one day out of so many days! =P)

Despite my dull feelings towards that day, I want to wish everyone here a Happy (belated) Valentine's Day, and I want to thank you for the friendships we have formed. I thank you guys for coming here to this blog and took your time to know me; it was a pleasure to know you guys as well. Thank you, and all of you will always have this special spot in my heart. =)

Lots of love! =D

Comments (17):

I just love reading your blog!

Lol. I share your views on work. :)

I think you might find this snippet from Time Magazine interesting (and maybe it clears up some things for you)
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1580438,00.html
mmm, seems like the link doesn't
quite fit. If it's not too much
trouble, you can maybe go to
Time.com and then search for and
article named: How the Brain
rewires itself.

Your friend is very wise in his
words. It's nice to see two people
share such a connection. :)

Every fairy tale I have ever read has trouble in the middle part before it ends in a happy ending. Maybe you secretly crave the trouble because it makes the success seem better..

Your friend seems pretty smart in his advice giving..

i dont see anything wrong with the fairy tale life :)
so far i havent come across a fairy tale where the lazy gets rich. cinderella was hard working. shrek has good quality only ugly.

you have a very astute best friend :)

hey FK..well I had just left you a novella in your comments about enjoyig life as a teenager et al..well blogger decided that you didn't need to read that kind of advice so it ate it..it was really good too..could have pubished a new advice book based on it..lol..anyway just wanted to stop by and say hey..love ya kid..m

I used to picture my life as being a fairytale, too. I spent more time dreaming than actually living, to be honest. I woke up after a serious of really sad events (involving my best friend), and now, I don't feel that way. It's now the opposite, and I almost wish I could go back to my past "innocence."

There's nothing wrong with holding on to that fairytale...Just remember to stay in touch with reality :)

Hello whenn! Thanks for the article, I've read it and I found it really interesting that the brain can actually be trained to perform certain moves or think in a certain way. Maybe I should begin chanting a mantra to push myself! =P

Yeah, he really is wise (even though he's younger than me by a year =) ).

Hey happy and blue 2! I love the drama in fairy tales and they always end so beautifully. =) I think I concentrated more on the ending though.

Hmmm... I don't crave for trouble. At least I don't think so...

Yep, he is smart in giving me advice. I'm so glad that I have a friend like him, despite our strained relationships (which is going on pretty well now =D).

Hey uncommonly u! Even though I wish life was a fairy tale, it isn't and sometimes life can taunt you and be really unfair. >=( And that's the part of life I dislike a bit. =P

Yep, he's a good chap! =D

What? Blogger ate up your comment, madd? NOO! Blogger is mean! I'd like to read your comments! =( Anyway, thanks for stopping by madd; take care! *hugs*

Hey katelyn! That's exactly what I am now: a dreamer, not a doer. It's good to have dreams to achieve, but it's bad that I don't bother to try and achieve it. I need to wake up now!!! =P

I miss my past innocence and naivety too. =P But then, they aren't going to help us much now...

Thanks for the reminder. =P

Ha! You think your innocence is already lost?! Think on buster! :-)

Seriously, though, when you said, "whatever I do, it will have a happy ending. If the ending is not happy, then it's not quite the end yet. " I thought it so lovely... and such a great way to look at things. I've had a heck of a lot of bad luck over the last few years, and if I'd been able to think like you, it would've made it a damn sight easier to deal with! But, I suppose, the other side is that if you don't take responsibility, and just 'expect it to turn out positive', it might just go the other way... luck isn't always on your side!

I like what your friend says, but I also like what Mother of Invention said on her blog this week, about your life being the dash! So apt. So poignant! The lines of the song by Linda Ellis (1996) that got me:

He noted that first came the date of her birth and spoke of the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all was the dash between those years.


Great post, as always, FK!

btw - go see the song, if you haven't already - it's better than I've summed up here, and I didn't tell it all...

Hey annelisa and sorry for the late reply! Hmmm... I think I still have some innocence retained, but I lost much of it over the years. It should be normal, right? ;)

Unfortunately, I took that principle a step further by sitting there and waiting for miracles to occur. The miracle was me rushing sloppily (at least to me) things at the last minute. I know luck isn't always on my side, and I can see it thinning...

The dash between the years...

...

Definitely something to ponder about... The exercise is good. I definitely should do it soon!

And yes, I saw her blog post, and ... it left me with mouth wide open! =O

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