Hi guys! Sorry if I didn't manage to blog about something interesting right after my previous post as school has pretty much "taken over" my entire life. =P Suddenly, after our long, uneventful vacation, homeworks were dished out to each of us students. Plus, there are upcoming important events (at least to me) very soon next month and I am rather unprepared to deal with them. =S

This was supposed to be written in my previous post, but I was feeling rather groggy and tired due to lack of sleep (despite lasting for 7 hours - quite a long time for many people). *sigh* In fact, I wasn't feeling too good yesterday. My orientation was blurry and I couldn't think straight. Thankfully I'm alright now and in top shape again. =D

There must be a reason for me to blog, right? Otherwise, I couldn't simply just weave my blog posts out from nothing. That would be too weird! =P

I remember while I was a kid, I used to keep several diaries. I remember keeping a diary chronicling my daily school life, which I showed to my parents and they raised their eyebrows, asking why am I showing my diary to them when it was meant to be private. Not surprisingly, that diary of mine never lasted long. =P So do all of them.

Blogging completely replaced keeping a physical diary. I discovered it after my friend had introduced to me his personal blog, and I was hooked. This meant not only can I write about my personal life and being able to share them with all of my friends, but this also means that I finally had the chance to put my basic HTML knowledge to the test. It was incredibly exciting and from then on, I became a regular blogger.

This aforementioned blog of mine still exists today somewhere in the blogosphere. Unfortunately, my blogging activities over there has dwindled in frequency because I ran out of topics to blog about. Sure, blogging about what goes on everyday in my life is fun (up to a certain point), but it's redundant and most of the time, it's the same routine anyway. No one likes to read the same things, and I don't want to put in the effort to tell the same story in different ways. I got bored of it and decided to venture into something deeper - discovering myself via blogging (and at the same time, to improve my writing skills). Speaking of writing skills, I remember mine wasn't this good. I remember vaguely last year that I was blogging about something simple and short and I honestly don't know why but somehow, my words just "click" together and I was actually using a higher form of English. I then realised that I can write! I kept blogging, and that's it - my way of self-expression via writing and blogging has changed for the better forever. =) I can't believe blogging in itself has became a big turning point in my life.

There are many instances when I wanted to spill out my thoughts into my other blog but that wasn't possible because my friends are reading it and when I ventured into Year 10, I made many friends and although I am like a monster saying this, but I couldn't trust them with my innermost thoughts. I was thinking, maybe I should but then I decided against it, believing that it's not wise to do so.

That's the very reason why this blog was conceived - as a place for me to quickly type out whatever worries, problems, frustrations and thoughts that haunt a corner of my brain which can quickly take over me. It felt good to even ramble into space. It's like putting them into a trash bag and send to the incinerator to be burned and forgotten. I must say, it's very liberating.

Another reason why I blog is also so that I can know the severity of my more "serious" problems. Do you guys know I have no idea how less severe my problems seem to be once I reread them again later? I realised that most of them are as a result of my hyperactive brain and I have this tendency to over-exaggerate even the most menial problems. Thank you to all who commented to help make my problem seem small and solvable, I truly appreciate it and it made me relaxed more, now that I can see my problem from a different angle, i.e. your perspective.

I also think more of my heart than my head, and that presents a really bad problem to me. Sometimes, when I ramble, I find that I'm not even thinking at all, just lashing out my emotions and thoughts into a blog post. (That's why some are pretty angsty. =P) It's always much, much later that I only made use of my logic centre up there to come up with solutions and to calm myself down. It's really funny at times. =P

What makes blogging so liberating for me is my anonymity. I guess a lot of people who stumble into this little haven of mine have often wondered who is that guy behind that cartoon portrait? Not disclosing his name is perfectly fine, but not even his location? The reason why I do not disclose anything besides my age is because I want to have the complete freedom to write whatever I want. Freedom of self-expression is what I really want because I am conformed by pressures of society to be someone normal - someone who doesn't share his own, personal thoughts with everyone he is acquainted with. Besides, I'm weird myself already. I don't think they are ready for more of my private and even weirder thoughts. =P

Besides, I don't really like sharing my thoughts with people. Sometimes, secrets are best kept to one self. I am also making myself vulnerable. People will take advantage of me and many a times, I find it rather difficult to fend it off. I'm not strong enough, both physically and mentally.

That itself, however, presents another problem of mine. I want to at least tell someone what I am going through now. I have no idea why I have such a funny need to do so. But yeah, I just want to share my life with someone. People have called me private, but I long to tell them all that has happened to me. It's just that I don't trust them enough and worse: I am fearful of divulging them me.

By putting my name and my location and horrors of all horrors, my picture (!), I am severely limited to what I can write as people who know me personally would expect certain things from me and not to expect weird, yet "wonderful" things about me. And wouldn't this ruin the whole point of keeping a secret blog as well (remember Google ;) )? Things I hide from loved ones disclosed here to total strangers who know nothing about you. The only way they can get to know the real you is via blog posts, of course. ;)

That is the real beauty of blogging. =) You can always do that in real life, but unfortunately, certain circumstances prevent one from doing so.

I just want to tell you guys that in this blog, I'm not a person.

I'm a soul stripped off its body and flesh, and bones...

Am I jeopardising my vulnerability? Very. I know that itself is a paradox. But then, I just want to show my true self to the world, something that I don't always do in real life. Besides, my anonymity is my protection. =P

I honestly have no idea this blog and I could evolve and mature so much within the time span of half a year! I was happy that I got to know a few people via comments and who now have became my very good buddies. Each of them offered many different good advices and opinions and I appreciate ALL of them. =)

Never in my whole life did I expect this blog to win the Bestest Blog of The Day awards the other day. I was, and still am, OVERJOYED! =D Yaaaay!!! Thank you to everyone who came here to read my blog posts, from the humble beginnings of this blog to its present day state. =) I certainly enjoy blogging about my life, and I hope you guys enjoy reading it as well. =)

P.S. The portrait below was done by my little brother using Adobe Photoshop Elements 2.0 and a graphics tablet in one of his Art classes. Doesn't it look nice (albeit grotesque in a really cool way? ;) )?


© that frolicsome kid's little brother, 2007 - 3007 (lol!). Click on picture to view full-size.

[+] There's more!

Lugging myself into the computer room, with half-eyes closed I checked my email inbox, expecting it to be empty. My eyes fluttered open when I saw Bobby's name there and I was like, "Erm, does he want to ask me something?" And...*drum roll*

OH MY GOSH! IS THIS FOR REAL?! THIS MUST BE A DREAM!



YAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!! =D =D

And I went to http://bestestblogofalltime.blogspot.com...

I cannot believe it! I. Have. Been. Chosen. As. A. Winner! This is so incredibly exciting! This date - 6th of February 2007 - will never be the same again. I shall remember it as one of the most important dates in history! =D

First of all, I want to shout out a big thank you to Mimi for writing a great review about me and this blog of mine. Thank you so much! =D I really appreciate it! =D

I would like to blog more, but unfortunately, I got to go now. =( I need to get some shut eye as I'm exhausted. And I have got to deal with some other important stuffs as well. See you guys later, and thanks for the award Bobby and Mimi! =D

By the way, for those of you who stumbled into here from Bestest Blog of All Time...

WELCOME! =)

[+] There's more!

This is a follow-up blog post from Sociology? And other thoughts...

Oh my gosh, what is wrong with me? Why am I beginning to worry about this again? This is bad, this is very bad...

Last night while I was in bed, I was hit by the sudden, sick realisation. I have not done much for Sociology, i.e. I have only covered 1 and a half big units, and there are 7 more to go. This is frustrating. I don't think I can complete all eight units in time for the exam in November. I might as well forget it and spend my energy concentrating on my 8 more important subjects, and score better marks in them.

There's just one problem though. I have to inform the deputy principal regarding my change in decision (this is the third time: first was to obtain permission to sit for this subject, second was to switch from Additional Maths to Geography, and now this...) again. Will she even approve of my decision? I have even got my parents' consent. What will they say? Most importantly, what will she say?! Will she criticise me and make me DO it, whether I like it or not?

I believe I still stand a chance though since registration has yet to be opened. Guys, I don't look forward to stand in her office telling her my change of my decision. I don't think she'll take me seriously, and she will shoot a plethora of questions hurling towards me. Questions, questions. I even tried to imagine how the meeting with her would turn out last night. I almost couldn't sleep last night.

Why did I want to drop this subject? First of all, there are still many more topics to cover. So, why did I take it in the first place? Honestly, I have no idea - I was thinking more with my heart than my head (in other words, I was too blinded by the sudden discovery of me suddenly developing an interest in this subject I went straight to sit for it in the O Levels without thinking of the effort I have to put in and its consequences). And I sort of regretted my hasty decision...

Again.

Oh boy, I'm in deep trouble. I am very afraid that she's going to request me to take up Additional Maths as replacement. I can imagine the look on my ex-teacher's face, glaring at me, daring me to tell her the reason why I made a stupid decision...

That'll be highly unlikely, but I never know. My school life is so messed up.

Did I tell you that I was afraid to tell her that I want to stop doing this subject? It's not too late right, since registration is yet to be opened. *shudder at the thought* I just am afraid to confront her and ramble nothing but mutterings. I was thinking of treating her to a cup of coffee at a local coffee shop and talk things thoroughly about my decisions.

I don't think it's necessary.

I have been badly misinformed. I should have been more patient and wait to study this subject later in Sixth Form, when more experienced teachers can deliver this subject to me properly. I lack resources as well; I cannot find past year papers online, the syllabus outline is too vague and frankly, there's a lot to remember! No, I don't think I can commit myself fully to study Sociology now.

Regrets, regrets. Oh, stupid naive me! >.<

So, should I see her? Or should I just go on and study this? (I definitely hope it isn't the latter because well...I just know I cannot go on anymore.) =(

[+] There's more!

Why don't I feel happy about him, but instead a melancholy feeling lingers in my soul? I mean, it's his birthday today and I am happy that he has finally turned 16, the sweetest age of anyone's life.

I think it's because our relationship isn't so hot now and it isn't working out I guess, despite making up (phrase edited on 5/2, thanks katelyn and annelisa for pointing out!) and settling our rather fragile friendship way back at New Year's Day. It was a Sunday...

This is horrible, I shouldn't be feeling like this. But I honestly cannot help it as these past few days I have been haunted by thoughts about him and I have been questioning our friendship, where we stand now etc. before sleep. Something is wrong; there's no more spark between us unlike last time, three years ago.

Did I tell you guys about the outing I had with him last month? To tell you the truth, it was not exciting at all. It was incredibly dull, if it wasn't for the movie. We talked rather little, and even if we did talk, our topics were rather dry anyway since they were school-related talk and other simple chats and comments passing (I can't remember them). It was horrible, we both weren't opening up to each other. What is wrong? What went wrong? Was it me?

I hate to jump to conclusions but I think the downfall of our friendship was having nothing in common in all. I couldn't find anything in common between us anymore. We don't play the same games and we don't have the same interests. Sometimes, I cannot help but feel jealous at the fact that he has a big circle of friends (at least among the guys), united by a (stupid) game I call Warcraft and other games they play. I know I have made a rather harsh statement, but I can't help but have this feeling that the aforementioned is true. (By the way, I dislike or rather hate Warcraft. I am inexperienced (or in 1337, a n00b)

Guys, I honestly don't know what is coursing through me now. Despite being best friends for quite a number of years, I know very little about him. It's only his overt personality that I know of. Even so, I still know little about it compared to most of his friends. I don't know his hobby (besides gaming), I don't know his favourite colour and his favourite things, I don't know how he views life and how he thinks. I can't even tell from the way he say things whether he is sarcastic about it, serious about it, angry about it or is simply kidding about it. (Maybe it's due to his neutral intonation.)

Heck, I don't even know some of his secrets which most of his friends do. I tell him mine. I am very open to him, I tell him some of my secrets and I seek solace in him many a times. So why doesn't he tell me some of his, or at the very least share what's going on in his life besides the usual "Nothing much"? (I admit, I say that too many times.)

In other words, he is *heaves a heavy sigh* becoming a stranger in my life. I'm even closer to some of my good friends than him. There's another way of saying it, but I can't recall it at the moment.

This happened to me twice already, having a falling out with three of my previous best friends. One moved to another school and I haven't seen him since, another I abandoned for a "new" best friend and the other one was because he took advantage of my weaknesses and he bullied me.

Was it all because I have labeled them as my "best friend"? Am I cursed as to whenever I say it out, some unseen forces will try and split us apart? (It was an exaggeration. There's a high chance that it wasn't because of that.) Or have I befriended the wrong best friend?

Or is everything all because of me, that I'm too demanding and I take all this best friend relationship thing too seriously? Fine, I am a bit demanding and I do take these sort of friendships seriously. That's because I care for them and I also want to share moments of my life with them be it bitter or sweet. And I want intimate companionship(s), not having fake acquaintances and fans.

All I want is just someone to be nice to me, and to see and like me as who, not what, I am. Besides that, I also want a someone who can keep on a lookout for me, talk to me, give some attention to me (not everytime though, I need some space) and be his/her genuine self.

Are they too much to ask for? I think so... Maybe I should keep my...err..."expectations" lower, I guess...

We lack communication. We used to be pretty talkative when we see each other. Lately, we're not. It's all a matter of hi and bye.

*sigh*

I sometimes even fear meeting him. My heart beats up for no apparent reason when I see/near him. I don't know what I fear about. I can't explain it. It's just that, I feel extra strange when I am with him. This is weird considering since I act pretty normal with the rest of my friends and acquaintances.

What is wrong with me? Why do I have this paranoia?

I remember turning down on my friends' invitations to go on outings which my best friend is going. I disliked going out at that time (I didn't like staying out of my house). Maybe that was my mistake. One day (recently), I decided to give it a try and sad to say this, I didn't have fun. And last year, he invited me to his house for his birthday party. Again, sorry to say this, I didn't have fun. The only fun part I liked was the birthday cake part.

They were playing Warcraft and I felt left out. I was glad to leave them in peace... =(

This is not to say I do not remember all the happy moments we share together. Of course I do. I remember way back in Year 8 when he and I went off to the block of flats near our school before Taekwondo classes begin and we would whip out our Nintendo Game Boy Advances and begin our Pokemon battles. =) I know, it seems pretty childish at that time considering our age, but we had lots of fun fighting! It was awesome even though not many could understand how we can derive enjoyment from playing Pokemon. It was my obsession at that time. Thank goodness it's dying now! ;) But still, that was how we bonded.

I still remember vividly him telling me that he has a crush on the same person as I have. Remember Akazukin ChaCha? Yeah, that was the same person he had a crush on. And I was quite crushed, LOL! I still remember the place he told me that. We were making a turn towards another school behind us. The trees were rustling and I remember the sun shining its rays in its cheerful mood. The birds were singing in the trees with the beautiful music spoiled by zooming cars most of the time. It was a beautiful day.

I also remembered the many times we walked around the block where our school was sited and in our walks, we talked about nothing but ourselves. It was fun and enjoyable, even though I cannot remember what we have talked about. All I remember is the sun shining and they were beautiful days. Hahahaha, and we always came to Taekwondo class a few minutes late! *silly grin*

Those were the days...

And now?

I honestly do not know what caused our distance between us. I blame lack of communication and us splitting up into different classes last year. Then again, we were drifting apart already two years ago. Many times, I addressed the problem to him. Nothing has changed...

What's wrong? (I know I have said this over and over again)

Maybe it's high time that we end our special friendship, on our last year of high school. It's just not working out anymore. I don't mind remaining as friends with him though (I honestly do not want to make an enemy out of a best friend. It happened twice; I don't want it to happen again.). This is what I am really feeling now. It cannot be explained, most of my feelings cannot be put down into words but I know it instinctively.

Maybe it's just me not knowing how to be a good best friend. =(

Dear best friend, if you are still reading my blog and you happen to read this on your birthday, I'm awfully, dreadfully sorry! But these are the true, honest feelings I wanted to pour out quite some time already. Sorry to ruin your birthday =(. I hope you can understand (I know you always tell me you do understand, but do you really? I have my doubts, I hate to say that =( ).

However, please understand this: You are a nice guy (and you still are!) and you treated me so well during the pinnacle of our friendship. I thank you so much for all those times; unforgettable times of my life. Have a great sweet 16th birthday to you and take good care of yourself. Hope you have a great birthday today. =)

[+] There's more!

I just want to say that school has started! I was happy to reunite with my friends again, and we laughed and talked about a lot of things. That what first day of school was meant for anyway, to catch up on friends, not syllabi! =P

It wasn't easy waking up at 6 in the morning again. I had lots of difficulty waking up and adjusting to my "new" schedule after days of sleeping late and sleeping in! =P

Just now, we were given a pep talk on how we are supposed to work hard for our upcoming GCE O Levels and basically, our teacher told us to be more serious and she was constantly stressing on how we only have 9 intensive months left before the exams and how important this last year in high school is. It was really scary but I felt rather motivated to begin doing light revision starting from...tomorrow? (Another wishful thinking of mine! *rolls eyes* =P )

Maybe I should with languages. I managed to obtain a file on the country's O Levels results and did an analysis. I found out that most people had obtained a B (no, I didn't bother with those who scored less than a credit) in Malay. That's a disheartening news, especially when I realise my vocabulary has shrunk to an infancy level! No, I'm not exaggerating, I'm serious! I can't even communicate with my fellow countrymen; I have to constantly speak Manglish or English. Even though they don't mind, it's not doing any good for my upcoming orals.

I have got to work hard to recover my use of Malay! I must make sure my vocabulary will expand to the level expected by fifth formers (Year Eleven-ers). I would love to get an A in this subject (and I definitely want an A for English!). Make it all subjects, LOL! =P

Speaking of the results, I was slightly possessed by jealousy when I saw the fantastic and incredible marks some have gotten. Why must I always be so jealous about these sort of academic achievements, heck I have yet to sit for the exams! >.<

Before I daydream of impossible dreams, I first have got to work hard at it. It has occurred to me in a number of occasions that sometimes, I can get so obsessed with my dream/fantasy, I actually forgot to include the effort needed to do things well. And that results in me "screwing (sorry!)" up things a couple of times.

Yesterday, my mom called my piano teacher to withdraw my little brother out from piano classes mainly because he is lacking the interest to continue playing to piano. He said that piano is so out of his league (i.e. he finds it difficult). Thank goodness the conversation my mom had with her was full of laughter and cheerful talks. I was almost afraid to confront her (I definitely do not want her to bombard me with questions regarding my brother!). I am so relieved that everything is alright now, and according to what she told my mom, this trend of dropping piano is too common.

My brother was terribly overjoyed last night! He was pretending that all the piano musical notes were falling out of his brain! It was such a hilarious sight! I have never seen such a happy person before, it totally scares me! =O Nevertheless, he has been bugging us about this matter for quite some time already, so I guess I can understand that! *shrug* =D So now, he's picking up Art and I must say, he has a talent for it! His drawings were amazing for a "new student"! Maybe I can post up a few here if I can...

Alright, I got to end now. I need to relax after a long, hard, arduous day at school and an exhausting piano class. It has been a long time since I have last played Sims 2. What am I hearing now? I hear the Sims CDs calling out my name weakly. Somehow, I am hypnotized by their voice... Time to insert my CD into the drive and start playing!

On the other hand, I have My Sister's Keeper to read. The story is about a girl who wants to stop donating her organs to her sister, since she was conceived (or rather, genetically created) to let her sister live. It's really fascinating to read how she is now fighting for her own rights after all those years.

Great, I'm having a dilemma of choosing my mode of relaxation. I must be the first person in the world who does this "unique" decision-making! =P

[+] There's more!

A few things happened over the weekend that has made smile and I went over the moon! Hahaha...

I still remember reading one of my friend's blog posts, and she recalled the times when our "family" (a make-believe one), a group comprising of 4 girls and I *wink* *wink* just had fun on the first outing we had. It certainly was a blast, of course. We bonded together a lot through that outing alone, we were just being ourselves and having fun teasing and talking to one another!

She (my "daughter") then recalled back the happy times we had when we just joked to each other and talked, and also the pretty miserable times when "family ties" were strained/severed. Nevertheless, through thick and thin, we stuck together and since this is going to be our last year together, we have to make full use of it to bond even closer and go out on more outings.

I am not the kind of person who likes to go out on outings but I think for the first time in my life, I actually enjoyed hanging out with them outside! As for the outings I had with the guys, let's just say it wasn't really that fun and exciting. In fact, I don't quite like it and I find it really dull (or maybe we don't share the same interests)...Sorry to say this!

I also love talking to her! I can tell you, our chats can last for two hours rambling about incessant nothings. We laughed a lot! It was really fun, and no, we are just good friends and I won't go beyond that! ;)

It rained on Sunday! I cannot tell you how overjoyed I was to miss my swimming class! =D I am so sick of doing front crawl drills! Last week, I had to do 5x100m and 3x150m and it was pretty tiring. I so do not look forward to another lesson again. Thank goodness the sky heard my wishes and ever since then, the sky was overcast and it was drizzling lightly most of the time. And that means no basketball game(s) with my neighbour too!

I used to loathe rains on Sundays as they prevent me from going to swimming classes, but now they are a blessing in disguise!

As I was about to leave for German class this afternoon, I met my brother's art teacher (who was also my PE teacher in school) downstairs. So he asked the inevitable question, "Where are you going?" My fear came true, he asked me that question! To tell you the truth, I don't like people to know that I take German classes.

I remember vividly that on a family (maternal side) reunion dinner we had last time, my mom told them, just like that, that I take German class. Of course, I was confronted by shocked expressions. My granduncle asked me, "Why don't you want to take a more useful language, like Spanish or French?" I sunk low into my embarrassment and my face drained out of its blood. I have my own reasons to study a "useless language" such as that, okay? I was lazy to elaborate on that.

There is another case when an arrogant businessman came into my house and have discussion with my parents. When my mom saw me coming down, she passed to me the Spanish book I bought online at Amazon.com. Do you know what the stupid businessman said?

"Why study a stupid language like Spanish? Learn Japanese instead!"

If I couldn't control my anger and embarrassment, I could have given this man a tight slap! I'm serious! What an ignorant fool!

That is why I never told anyone that I take up German class. So when his teacher asked me that, I thought to myself, "Oh no! What will his reaction be?"

"German class."

He echoed back. "German class? Oh..." I bet he was very surprised!

Later, when I came back, he was still there! LOL! I was like, now what is he going to say to me again! I received a really sweet and pleasant surprise from him when he greeted me, "Guten Tag!" I was laughing a little as his pronunciation was a bit wrong, but nevertheless I greeted him back! =D He then asked me what it meant, so I told him it actually means good day. =)

He's such a nice, cool guy. He actually took interest in my German pursuits. I was more than elated. I was on cloud 9! =D

I am also quite pleased that school is starting soon. I know it's ironic for me to suddenly say this after ranting how much I hated going back there, but honestly, I think I had had enough of staying idle and not doing much useful things during the holidays. So it's a welcome change to me!

Actually, my intention is more to seeing my friends again, not pursuing my education! Hahahahaha! But I enjoy most of my classes, though.

Hey, look, the sun's shining now after a few days of drizzle and overcast. Hmmm... this is going to be a good day after all! =D

Oh, before I end this blog post, please take some time and head over to Maryam's blog, My Marrakesh. It's really nice, and I especially love how her house looks and of course, her descriptions of Morroco. It's another eye-opener into this part of the world!

I let you in to something: That blog is actually a nominee for the most prestigious blog award, The 2007 Bloggies! That is so awesome and it's great to know that she got into the voting phase! So please vote for her! I'm going to, but I have other blogs to nominate as well and I have no idea how am I suppose to vote for them! =P

[+] There's more!

I did not forget what I said in this blog post regarding a blog post to be done on my crushes. So, here it is and witness yourself how each and every one of them did not blossom into love. =P

Disclaimer: They are not accurate descriptions as my memories are vague. Names have been changed into comical ones (not meant to be insulting ;) ). It's okay to laugh at them! ;) This is done to protect their identity, and mine...

Now let's rewind back to when I was in Year 3 (about 8 years ago!) and imagine me as a little kid with a squeaky voice. A naive little me (and I still am, except I'm not little anymore)! That was when I have my first girlfriend. Yep, at the teeny weeny age of 8 or 9 years old, and I already have got one. Cheeky me! =P Note that I have yet to grasp the concept of love, so despite the "boyfriend-girlfriend" status, I now realise it was just only a crush. =)

Carrot, my first "girlfriend". I still remember her really fair skin and spectacles. *whistle* She was one of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen. Her beauty is further enhanced by her sweet, good-nature, kind and cute characteristic. I love to talk to her; I remember my heart doing flip-flops when I neared her.

Of course, we shared some fun times doing unromantic stuffs. Just plain, friendly stuffs. Nothing too mushy because I didn't know how to flirt! =P I tried to make it special though.

So, one day, people noticed our closeness together and they began to label us as a couple. I think it was that, or I told people that she is my new "girlfriend". Of course, news spreads fast and soon the people in the same level as me know about the love affair I was having. I was happy. So that is what our relationship is called. A boyfriend-girlfriend one!

The next year, things got worse. We were split up into different classes and we don't talk to each other since. Unfortunately, people think that we still are going steady and the boyfriend-girlfriend became insults. We have since then been labeled like that. Looking back, I was really sorry that I have to tell everyone about it! It got to the point of annoyance, that I snapped every time they say that. I think that was what they want to see. My scrounging my face up trying to deny them when I still like her.

And I stopped seeing her. It was easy since she was in a different class. And my "love" to her slowly died down. We still see each other once in a while but not for long, because people will spot us and they will begin taunting us. It was that bad.

It went on through my whole primary years. Thank goodness I transferred myself into another school. I was starting to dislike most of the people there. The aforementioned one was part of the reason. Another one is that they don't accept me as who I am.

I was weird. A victim. I was always the bullies' victim. I have so-called "friends" there who took advantage of me. Things changed in Year 5 though. I suddenly became the top student of my class. Guess what? The insults hurled to me suddenly diminished.

Okay, I'm getting a little sidetracked here. That will be another story to tell. *chuckle*

Now, Carrot and I are still good friends even though we're both in different schools already. We kept in touch once in a while through instant messenger and our blogs. It's one of the friendships I value a lot even though we both don't really talk to each other now.

Year 6. I had a crush on my rival. The top student of the class while I was following close behind her. Her intelligence and mystery aura intrigued me. I was having a big crush on her. And I told my seat mate, again! =P Word spreads fast among her friends. Thankfully. At least it wasn't that well known.

I remember I was walking together with my classmates back to class after P.E. A friend of mine and hers caught up with me and she told me discreetly, "Do you know Suzuki likes you as well?" I was more than delighted! I think I was skipping all the way back to my class. And I never looked at her the same way again.

I began to notice her looking at me in an affectionate way. It's either that, or my imagination is forcing me to hallucinate things. I fell for her quite hard but I never expressed it to her. I was really scared of being rejected (I still am!). =(

Of course, being fierce academic rivals, I told her my marks in tests. =P Sometimes, I don't though. It's too bad my crush on her didn't go far. After I graduated from primary school, I moved to another school to begin my secondary years.

Year 7. I have a crush on Margarine, a good sports athlete in my class. She was a nice and genuine person. Guess what? One of my friends had a crush on her too! -.-" But he was rejected, followed by me. I confessed my feelings to her online on MSN Messenger. She was shocked to hear and she asked me why.

To be honest, I'm not quite sure what I told her and I forgot why I like her. Margarine's reply was "I don't love you, but you are like a brother to me.". What else can I say? At least I know we're still friends. That's better than nothing. My crush on her immediately disappeared. I don't really talk to her anymore, though.

Year 8. I think I told you guys this one; I mentioned about her, Akazukin ChaCha, on a previous blog post. How was I attracted to her. Again, her intelligence and beauty. She was fairly beautiful herself but boy, was she the fussiest and demanding person I have ever met! She has some good qualities which drew me to her.

Hahahaha, and my best friend and another guy in his senior years have a crush on her as well. =S

So anyway, one day, I told my best friend to follow me to the library. She was doing an assignment in class during recess before the "big confession". I drew her to a secluded corner and I told her "I like/love you" (I can't remember the exact word I used). And she ran off! Wasn't that an immediate rejection already (again)?

I went out gloomily with my friend who witnessed the whole thing by my invitation. I felt bad about myself. Did I scare her away like that? It was horribly scary, I didn't dare to see her again.

Somehow, we wound up being normal again, talking to each other like friends. There are quite a number of times when she asked me to "help her" in her homework and some other stuffs. Why should I help her with her homework when she is the Top 1 student in the entire level? It's really odd, don't you think?

That's how my crush ended. I told myself to take our relationships to a higher level again. I don't think I can stand it. It was much, much later when she got into a romance problem herself when she transferred into another school. There's this guy a few years her junior who fell in love with her at first sight and he immediately dumped his girlfriend at that time for her? Can you believe it? What a jerk! He didn't even know Akazukin ChaCha didn't even like him. And she felt that she couldn't escape from his love. She felt helpless despite me telling her that she has every right to "break up" with him.

And she asked me, "Can you be my boyfriend?"

Isn't the answer a resounding no? Why tell me that you like me after 2 years of no response from you? Sorry girlfriend, but I already have moved on. =( So yeah, we talked a bit about our previous relationships and that's it. I blocked her online. I know that was very mean of me, but I honestly don't know what else to do.

Today, I am still a "bachelor" wandering about like a lost vagabond with no directions. Hahahaha =P. Well, recently last year, I have a crush on one of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen and a very devoted Christian. Let's call her Mona Lisa. =P



She's not outstandingly beautiful, but to me, she's like an angel. Kind, soft, sweet, nice... She's just awesome. I don't know whether she knows I like her or not. This time I am being very careful now. I told no one about this except a mutual friend of mine, and to you all. I don't know, but somehow, I can find a hint of myself in her. It's kind of odd but you know the feeling when you meet someone and you two instantly clicked together for some odd reason? Yeah, that's exactly how I feel.

I saw her already last time when I first joined Taekwondo Club in my school. She was just only the girl next door at that time. I cannot believe she ended up becoming someone who I like. =)

You know, she was the only person who I dared to look into her deep, brown eyes and who I find myself staring at her everytime without her knowledge. I don't know, but her eyes told me a lot about her. She has a beautiful soul. And I knew it very well. It's too bad I can't describe it in words. =(

My crush on her is dwindling at the moment since I haven't seen her for a very long time. Hopefully, it might rekindle when I get back to school. =P Honestly, I don't know how to take our relationship to a higher level. I don't know how to "flirt", honestly, even though I hang out with girls (!) most of the time. I just treat them as my friends and some as something even special. ;)

Anyone has tips for me? =P Heeheehee... ;) I guess just being myself is okay enough already.

Should I say this? Maybe I shouldn't. It's going to be embarrassing. And I'm not even sure whether it is wise for me to say it.

............

I think some may even hate me for this...=(

Are you ready?

............

No I'm not. Sorry for the suspense. I really don't think I should reveal it now. It's a very dark, hidden secret of mine which even I myself cannot really understand and conclude.

Maybe next time......Sorry! But I hope you enjoyed this post from a guy who has yet to find his true love. Hahaha! =P

[+] There's more!

All of a sudden, I feel rather down today. I don't know why or what has happened to me, but it just suddenly hit me. Maybe my conscience is bugging me to do something useful like reading the pile of books I bought overseas or flipping through my school textbooks. After all, school is going to reopen soon and a part of me do not look forward to it! I'm pretty sure teachers are so going to ask us whether we have "studied" or not (and the answer will be a resounding no from us) and we will be so badly pressured to catch up with the syllabus. *rolls eyes*

Especially Maths, Chemistry and Physics; oh boy, I need to revise again sometime this week to recap my understanding of the concepts! Oh, and I really don't look forward to some classes! *shudder at the thought of Computer Studies*

My worry is further added when I came to realise that some of my friends are going to tuition classes. That scares me. I know, schools in my country have already begun, except for us, and it's normal for students to go to tuition but that makes me even paranoid because I myself have yet to touch my school books.

Why do I always get this sickening feeling prior to beginning of school? =S I suppose that's another weird part about me! =D

Going to school tomorrow just sent me to the doldrums. The school prefects are organising an orientation tomorrow for our new recruits. I can't wait to get to know them, I think it's going to be exciting. Then again, I loathe seeing the sight of school. It gives me the creeps to know that in a week's time, I'll be stuck in a classroom suffocating while trying to grasp what was thrust to me! =O

Unfortunately, I have to train the new members of my council in doing their jobs and it's going to be tough! Last year, only 2 of my council members, i.e. the current boss of prefects and I, actually did something. The other one produced sub-zero quality work (at least to me)...no offense.

I hope the members I get are okay people, friendly and cooperative. =)

I really need to shove thoughts of school far away into a secluded part of my brain!!!

Do you guys still remember the neighbours whom I play basketball with? Bad news: I don't really look forward to playing with the kids anymore, especially the eldest one. He's too kiasu! I'm really sorry if I have to say that out blatantly, but honestly, I can't stand it.

Now I remember why I hated basketball. I find most of the players playing dirty and unfair, and they literally try to bend, twist, using it to their advantage and find ways to get around the rules. It's outright disgraceful! A curse to those rules. So many, and they make the game turn sour!

When my ball was about to fly into the hoop, he cried "Time Out" as he wanted to get something, and my ball actually went in! Another time, he said the garage wasn't within the boundary, and when his ball got out, he continued playing as if nothing happened!

And when my team mate (which was his little brother) last touched the ball and he cried foul, he said "Since you were the one who last touched it, it's our ball."

What? Your ball? I saw it with my own eyes that you ignored your imposed rules!

I also noticed that when the ball got slipped out of his hands into his little brother's, and who passed to me, he cried "Foul" again, due to roughplay, when I didn't see anything at all! So what is he trying to do? Trying to win all of the games just to show us how good he is (and he made a pretty good effort to show off his success and skills)?

He is very impressive for a kid his age, but his attitude fail to impress me. Whatever happened to the friendly games we had? His kid brother even knew he has playing unfair! I felt like a fool standing there trying to be naive when I myself know so clearly something is very wrong. I felt like trying to tell him that it's wrong, but I suppress myself from doing so. I definitely don't want to start a major argument.

And that's what make me quite angry. For Pete's sake, there are winners and losers in a game and it is inevitable that you lose once in a while. Don't have to go all the way to bend the rules and win, and parade in front of us like a winner when clearly, you do not really deserve all the fine glory! >=(

Make games fun. Not a war.

And I feel so bad for saying this behind his back. But then, he is wrong in many cases. >=(

Maybe I shouldn't go tomorrow. I just stay home and go online, or read some good novels I bought.

And why is my friend trying to compare my previous results with a guy in my previous year? So what if he gets 6A1 and 2A2 while I got 7A1 and 1B3? It makes no difference!

P.S. Thank goodness he realises that I'm no longer that "competitive" anymore. I used to fret over my results last time though.

[+] There's more!

I mean, cracking my head! I have spent at least 2 days trying to recode this blog to utilise the new Blogger widgets, but unfortunately, my efforts were all in vain! I have tried and tried again for three times and I keep failing!

Most of the site appears but the vital parts did not, and they are the blog posts! They keep hiding from me. =( Honestly, I'm really frustrated now because I am quite sure that syntactically, they are correct but somehow, someway, it's wrong! This is so majorly annoying! And I keep on going, I don't give up. It's so strange that I'm making things hard for myself. =( Or maybe I'm just stubborn because I have this feeling that I only need to make a few changes, and everything will work already! The problem is, I can't pinpoint exactly the problems.

Blah, why can't the Blogger employees incorporate the new features into the classic templates?! =\

[/frustrations]

That's weird, why didn't I sound angry? Hahahaha, something is wrong with me today! =D I won't blog anything of interest now as I'm persistent in trying to figure out what is wrong with my HTML stressed and sad because Blogger made me look stupid! quite worn out myself. ;)

[+] There's more!

Before I begin, I want to thank katelyn for using this word in her comment below. *big grin*

I don't know whether it can be accurately described by that word though.

Anyway, I was sort of happy that our third day was our last day for the whole Buddhist ceremony. We had lunch together with a few thousand "specially invited" people and the Grandmaster Lu Sheng-Yen, of course. Throughout the lunch, performances were held which I did not really spectate as I was too busy pigging down on my food. I know, I'm sorry, I should have watched it. =P

The food - I must say Taiwanese food has a very unique taste. I wasn't used to eating such food, so even though some of them were hailed by our newly-made Taiwanese friends as delicious, I thought it was quite the contrary. It wasn't downright disgusting, but they have definitely played with my taste buds! But it's okay, it's a once-in-a-lifetime experience anyway! =D

Nearing the end of the lunch, Grandmaster treated everyone a show of his martial art skills (dang, I forgot the name again!) which received everyone's loud and tremendous applause. He was really good you know, it was in sync with the Chinese "kung-fu style" music played and his every movement was in a word, awesome!

And that sums up my family's pilgrimage to Taiwan to attend a very revered Buddhist ceremony which worships the Buddha called Kalachakra. According to some of my mom's friends who came along with us, they were told that the ceremony was broadcast live in a Chinese channel. I looked it up online and it was indeed true. Click for the news. It's too bad it is past the 20th of January. You couldn't watch the telecast anymore. =(

You'll never believe what happened after that. Later in the evening, my family was up at Taipei 101! Can you believe it? We had left footprints at the tallest building in the world!


© Wikipedia.org

Actually, my mother had gotten someone to drive us to Taipei from Taichung when we found out that many of her friends are heading there to spend a day there as well. And the airport was a stone's throw away too, so there is no need for us to wake up at wee hours of the morning and try to rush the 2 hours plus trip to the airport. It promised so many benefits, why not take advantage of it? ;)

I was the one who suggested a visit to Taipei 101, since it's one of the most prominent landmarks of Taiwan (and the only one I know, hehe!). So we took a 37 seconds ride up the elevator (yes, the world's fastest elevator is located there as well) and we admired the magnificent views the metropolis has to offer for us! It was really amazing to see how forward Taipei already is; it's like Tokyo (somehow, the views remind me of Tokyo, even though I have never been to Japan).

I remember seeing many buildings and skyscrapers clustering nearby, with beautiful apartments rising up from the ground. I also won't forget the old shophouses located near there, and the night lights! Oh, they were immensely beautiful!

When the car drove along the streets of Taipei, I was trying to absorb in what I was seeing. I cannot believe what I saw. Elevated freeways running atop streets below, buildings facing the freeways, the people, the vibrant city life, the curvature of the roads, criss-crossing here and there, the cars and did I forget to mention motorcycles, the road bullies? =P

Whenever the traffic lights turn red (and they'll stay red for quite a long time!), motorcycles can be seen overtaking cars and they all move forward to stop just in front of the intersection box. So whenever the light turns green, you can see the big group of motorcyclists roaring their way before the cars actually do! And I was really fascinated by the fact that females, yes, ladies, do ride motorcycles there. It was really a new sight for me (I always have this notion that motorcyclists are mostly men). But visiting Taiwan has proven me wrong. I remember seeing a mother sending her child back home using a motorcycle. It was so cool!

The cities of Taiwan are definitely modern and way developed than I expected! =O

I also would like to give a mention to the freeways at the island. Whoa! Freeways upon freeways. Amazing! I really have never seen such good infrastructure before. You could actually get lost in the freeways! It really is exciting to see roads built like that. Here's a tip though in case you're planning to rent a car in Taiwan when you go there next time. Please have some spare change in your car when you are driving on freeways, because there are many toll booths that need your money before passing through. This also applies when you are entering into Taipei as well.

And what do I learn from this trip? I should have continued learning Chinese. Why?

Because I was bombarded by Traditional Chinese writings all over Taiwan (and Simplified Chinese in Mainland China). Adverts, brochures, flyers, shop signs, and even road signs are all writing in pure Chinese with very little, or no English translations (freeway road signs are kinder though, they have at least provided straightforward, short and crisp English words). It's that bad, and I struggled badly trying to read the Chinese wordings.

If you're lucky, some places and hotels do provide English translations but even then, don't expect much. The English is horrible! There are spelling errors, grammatical mistakes and wrong phrasing of sentences! It can really drive an English purist mad, but then it's really better than nothing.

It's still alright though as I don't need to read much. There's already spoken Chinese which had kept me on my feet at all times. Oh my gosh, I was really embarrassed when I do not know how to express a word in Chinese and I have to actually add English words to my already broken Chinese. It would be considered normal in Singapore (phew!) though. So far, that has yet to happen to me. Thank goodness I could think up of simpler Chinese words as substitution.

My Chinese accent sounds very out of place in Taiwan. A few people who I conversed with have asked me where I come from. And I said out my country's name, and to my dismay, they gave me blank looks. I have expected it anyway, and I say it's close to my neighbouring countries. And they were, "Oh! Oh! Okay...", although I doubt they still know it. *sigh*

I really dig their Chinese accent though, especially Taiwanese Hokkien. It sounds more melodic and softer compared to the Hokkien spoken here, which to a foreigner's ears sounds very rude and loud. =P Thank goodness my parents can speak a it a little, as my mom likes to watch a Taiwanese drama where the actors speak completely in Taiwanese. Phew~

I think I picked up a little of their accent though, because I remember I sounded so different when speaking to Singaporean hawkers. Too bad it was temporary. I have lost it already! =(

It was really a relief to overhear a Caucasian speaking English in the airport prior to me leaving for Singapore. I cannot tell you how wonderful it sounded to my ears!

Bottom-line is if you intend to travel to China or Taiwan, learn a little bit of Mandarin Chinese before you go. Bring along your phrasebook as well, it helps a lot (Lonely Planet or Berlitz are good). To be safe, stick to more tourist-friendly places. ;) The Chinese people appreciate it much more if you do try to converse in Chinese, and they will treat you much more friendlier.

My mom asked a taxi driver how on earth do they communicate with foreign tourists who do not know how to speak Chinese. He said that they will show him a business card to wherever they wanted to go, and he will send them there. He and his customers will communicate with sign languages. I wanted to laugh at the humour, but I restrained myself. Language barriers are not funny, and my so-so Chinese (I studied it from Years 1 -6, and forgot a lot of them =( )could only get me so far. =P

And believe it or not, this is my first time wearing winter clothes, albeit only 3 layers (underwear, clothes and winter jacket plus scarf). Cool! =D

There you have it, a first-person account on his trip to exotic Taiwan (even though it was only a 4 day pilgrimage). I hope you enjoyed reading it!

P.S. After that, we went to Singapore for a few more days. There is nothing much to describe as my trip was filled with shopping, shopping and more shopping. For books, of course! English books! I freaked out when I saw a section dedicated to Chinese books, I quickly retraced my steps back to Literature/Fiction section. I have experienced enough Chinese for now. =P

[+] There's more!

Hey everyone! I'm back home after an exhausting trip to Taiwan and Singapore. *jumps in glee at the mention of the word Singapore* Honestly, the Buddhist ceremony was pretty much so-so. We touched down at the Taoyuan International Airport and we rode a van to Taichung for 2 whole hours! That's quite a long way, considering we're travelling on a freeway.

My first glimpse of the first town city we passed by was, WOW! It's pretty vast. IT wasn't until we arrived at Taichung then we noticed how tall those many buildings really were! And it wasn't Taipei or anything. As we neared the city, I cannot help but marvel how buildings take up every nook and cranny of the land.

I confess, I thought Taichung was a backward, rural, ordinary Chinese village. I really have no idea it was a really big, vibrant and modern city! It was also at that time I realised Taiwan is a big island. I always thought it was as small as, say, Singapore. >.<

On Saturday, there was an autograph session where people bought Grandmaster Lu Sheng-Yen's 192nd book (the latest one - and boy, he already had written so many books) and he voluntarily signed the nearly 2500 copies which people brought to him. There could be even more, I'm not sure myself. Before that, there was a short public interview on him and he preached a little (which I forgot myself and couldn't understand some as I couldn't comprehend a lot of his Chinese!).

The only thing I have to bear was having to wait for an astoundingly long time before my family and I can finally get the chance to get his signature on our books! (Like, about a thousand plus-plus people in front of us) It was pure torture (sorry) having to wait for so long! Thank goodness I brought along a book with me, else I think I will drive myself mad. So much for my patience resolution! *grins*

I wish I could read his book as I have heard people saying that he imparted a lot of wisdom in those books. Unfortunately, his books are full of Chinese characters which I struggle to read/is unreadable, and that very setback repulses me from reading. Shame, I'm a Chinese and I can't read most of the words. (I am lucky though. I pity my Chinese friends who can neither speak nor write Chinese. The language itself plays our integral self-identity.)

It was too bad the novel I was reading had sort of "suffocated" my interest and before I knew it, my brother and I went exploring around the Lei Tsang Temple. Oh my gosh, that place is SO huge! There are so many beautiful and intricately made Buddha statues displayed in front of us, and I hadn't the foggiest idea that there were so many! Pity I only know a few myself. =(

When we went upstairs, we were greeted by 7 two-storey high statues; four of them were different variations of Quan Yin and one of Amitabha Buddha. I don't know the English names for the other two, unfortunately, but I definitely recognise them. I felt like a dwarf when I stood in front of them! But they were beautiful, very beautiful indeed!

So I immediately prostrated and did err...how do you call them...hand gestures (?). Okay, I honestly do not know how to say it in English! I wish I knew how to call them, but sadly I don't. Guess I'm not a really devoted Buddhist after all...

There are also big murals of Buddhas behind the temple at the second storey which are yet to be coloured, I assumed.

After my little exploration around the temple and after long, gruelling hours of waiting, it was finally our turn and yeah, I was happy! =D I can finally get my book signed, go home, rest up and wake up to a big prayer tomorrow. I was happy to see the Grandmaster up close once again. Boy, he didn't age at all since the last time I met him face to face (and that was like how many years ago already!). So he signed and blessed me by touching my head with his hand (thanks!) and yeah, we headed back to our seat and waited for the whole thing to finish.


My signed copy. Horray!


The book cover. It's called the 2006 Special Edition of Kalachakra. Nice, isn't it? ;)

When he was about to make a majestic exit, there was a frenzy of activity as people rushed to stand by the pathway waving him goodbye (it was like they were his biggest fans devotees or something). I don't know why I was thinking the wrong way, but I was thinking that they wanted to seize the opportunity to receive his blessings or something which is kind of greedy. After all, he is a living Buddha, so I guess I can understand that!

The next day was the big prayer which was known as the Kalachakra ceremony. Some fascinating acrobatic and dramatic shows took place near midday, people getting excited and reverred by the Grandmaster's arrival, and boy, was the temple packed! I heard that about 30 000 to 40 000 devout followers were present at the temple at that time (so you can now imagine how big the temple really is, and how crammed I felt!).

The ceremony took off with a bang as confetti and balloons shot up into the air, and everyone gave a tremendous applause. The ceremony began with the formal introduction of 2 kinds of monks and nuns (上师, 法师)of the True Buddha School. Following that is the swearing in of new monks and nuns as they formally entered priesthood. There is a word for that in English, but I forgot. How it was done was pretty interesting. First, the monks and nuns shave their head, leaving a patch of hair on top of their head. (Yes, annelisa, the female nuns do shave their heads =) ) The Grandmaster then read out the "terms and conditions" in entering priesthood, confirming with them their actions before proceeding. Then, as they got up the podium where the Grandmaster sat, he took a shaver and shaved the last of their hairs. They thanked him by putting their hands together and bowed, and after that got down and prostrated. They then did the hand gestures thingy (once again, I don't know how to say it in English).

Okay, so after that, the prayer began. I don't think I need to elaborate on this, but I'll upload a PDF of the very short and simplified prayer book for your viewing pleasure. Please take note everything's printed in Traditional Chinese. Forgive me for not providing with a translation as I can only struggle to read a few words.

The Kalachakra Prayer Book, distributed by the True Buddha School at Lei Tsang Temple in Taiwan. Note: This file is in PDF form. You need Adobe Reader to read this file. You may want to right-click and save for viewing convenience.

Don't worry, my mom taught my brother and I how to pray the most important ones while we were young in the car, every day on our way to school. So they are all pretty much in my head. They are further reinforced as my mom goes through her daily prayer routine each and every single morning without fail. And that, I have to salute her! Honest! It's something to marvel at.

Unfortunately now, I don't pray consistently. =( I'm such a naughty kid. =P I even have to lie to my mom a couple of times when she asked me whether I pray every day or not, even though she knew I was lying.

Hahahahahaha! But seriously, I should pray more. It's just only 5 minutes, like what she guaranteed me.

After that, the Grandmaster preached to us about what the chanting of Kalachakra meant. He explained to us each of the ten words, i.e. Om. Ha. Ka Ma La. Wa La Ya. So Ha., that make up the short chant, which we have to, well, repeatedly chant over and over again! =) I forgot what they each mean though (I blame myself for not paying much attention and not understanding Chinese perfectly), but I remember them being pretty useful!

Then came the part which I loathe the most, the blessing. Why should I loathe it? Aren't all blessings meant to be good? And it's free, and the Grandmaster was kind and patient (!) enough to bless all 30 000 of us! Well, it's not actually the blessing, it was more like the people! Large numbers of them. We're talking about tens of thousands of them! I am not really a misanthrope, but with people surrounding you north, south, east and west, and you are cramped from all corners by bodies, and you are feeling tightly packed, what more with the rudeness of people shoving and pushing and squeezing their way through you, giving no damn to children and the elderly, and the fact that you need to wait for a long time before your turn comes - it doesn't make a pleasant experience.

In short, everyone wanted to be quickly blessed and go home.

Thank goodness the Grandmaster taught up of something clever. He transferred his blessing powers to hanging scrolls of Kalachakra's portrait (at least that's what I think it is) and all people have to do is the walk under them and touch them, and there you have it, a blessed new you! =D

Boy, it was really exhausting when I finally got back to the hotel after dining out at a restuarant for dinner. Thankfully, my mother knew one of the nuns personally, and she sort of got a permit for our cars to go up to the mountain. Yeah, the temple is resting on a mountain, not on the peak though. =P I really pity the poor guys who have to walk all the way from metres from the foot of the mountain up the slope to finally reach the temple. I felt that it was really unfair to them that we got a quick ride up without exerting much energy.

I will continue chronicling the days I had in Taiwan tomorrow, or on Monday. Tomorrow's going to be a very busy day for me. I have to wake up early morning to attend a BIG family reunion tomorrow, paternal side. According to my dad, about 200 plus relatives will turn up tomorrow. I have no idea I have SO MANY relatives. And I don't know them! Hmmm, this might be the perfect opportunity to do so. Then again, I might be shy, and not talk. =(

And then, a V.V.I.P. (my mom's boss) is coming over to my house tomorrow to have lunch with us and my mother to discuss certain things. Then, in the afternoon, I will have swimming classes once again, and I definitely am not looking forward to it. I have missed my lessons ever since nearing the end of November all the way till now, and I did not swim much at all. This is bad, I will so struggle tomorrow. Oh well, wish me luck!

I see you guys later! =)

[+] There's more!

Hello guys! Just to let you know, I won't be blogging next week as I have to go to Taichung, Taiwan to attend a Buddhist ceremony. I don't know whether you guys know this or not, but I'm a Buddhist belonging to a Buddhist association called True Buddha School (真佛宗).

So I'll be off there and meet the Grandmaster and receive his blessing. I'll talk about it more when I get back. Sorry if this is a really boring blog post. Anyway, I spent the rest of my evening and night chatting with my school mates (it has been quite some time since I last chat with them on MSN Messenger) and so catching up with a few things.

Hmmm... One of my friends has a hard time accepting the fact that the girl he fancies, unfortunately, doesn't express the same feelings towards him. And my friend and I have a hard time convincing him about it. Oh well, let's just hope this fact wakes him up from his daydream.

That gives me an idea for the next blog post. My crush(es)! Hahaha... stay tuned! =) See you next Friday!

[+] There's more!

I really cannot believe it. 2007 really is so full of surprises, like what madd had commented here:

Thanks madd. =)

I finally understood (or got the basic fundamental gists) of noun declensions in German! I am so happy of my accomplishment. What once used to be a very big "Huh?" for me has became something that I'll go "Oh, I see!".


[you can skip this if you want]

There are four cases in German, i.e. nominative, accusative, genitive and dative, and it all depends on the sentence itself. So I can say:

The dog bites the man.
Der Hund beißt den Mann.

Here, the man is the direct object/receiver which receives the action of the verb, so he is classified under accusative. The dog, on the other hand, is the subject/nominative.

He is the dog's master.
Er ist der Herr des Hundes.

In this case, dog's master is the subject. But because the dog is the possession of the master, it is thus a genitive case.

The taxi driver drives the lady to the hospital.
Der Taxifahrer fährt dem Krankenhause die Fräu.

You know the taxi driver is the subject. The hospital is the place where they are going to, or the indirect object, so it is a dative case. The lady will be the direct object as she is driven to the hospital, thus it is an accusative case.

What changes in the case is the article and sometimes, the noun itself. I don't know why it happens to the latter as I wasn't provided a good explanation. It just happens! Too bad there are a lot more for this: tenses, plural forms etc. Oh my, the sheer number of words I have to learn!

Disclaimer: My explanation is not 100% accurate or correct. It's pretty basic. =)

[/skip]


My German vocabulary is horrendously small. I have to constantly check up on my vocabulary lists for some of the words that I had used up there. I kept thinking, "Now, how do you say this English word in German again?" Happens all the time even when I am studying Malay and the last time, Chinese.

I guess English is becoming my first language!

But German class yesterday was fun! I learned a lot from that lesson. I look forward to tomorrow's class but first, I need to review what I have learned to avoid giving blank stares to my teacher! =)

Later in the afternoon, as I was cycling around my house compound, out of the blue, my neighbours called after my brother. My brother ignored them (!) and when he called again the second time, I braked by the fence and asked what's up.

Guess what? They wanted us to play basketball with them!

I, of course, was shocked and pleasantly surprised at the same time at their request. You see, I'm not a very good neighbour myself. I rarely talk to the kids next door, or to the other neighbours around my house. In fact, it was mostly "Mind Your Own Business" scenario, to put it rather crudely, although my mother does talk to our neighbours next door sometimes.

So at first, I hesitated because I wanted to get back to my computer. But I thought "Hey! Why lead such a sedentary and lonely life when you can get a chance to play with your neighbours a game of basketball? Besides, you made a resolution to keep yourself fit."

And I told my conscience to keep his mouth shut. I naturally went, of course.

AND IT WAS FUN! I'm not a good basketball player myself, heck I don't really like basketball. But hey, there's no competition going on. It's just about having fun! For the first time in a very very long time, I spent an hour outside doing sports. I think my mom was very happy to learn that! *cheeky grin*

We played a few games and my partner (the elder of my two neighbour siblings)and I kept winning, hahahaha! I think it's due to my height and my neighbour's height (I'm 1.75 m tall when I checked a long time ago, while they are still about average pre-teens' height). And no, I don't get so tall because I play basketball every time. That's what everyone said when they haven't seen me in a very long time/never. And it's a really annoying notion.

But boy, it was fun! I even sweated out a lot too! In fact, our neighbour even invited us to have another game with their friends later today at half past four! Wow, I didn't know our neighbourly relationships can rekindle and restore in such a short time. I think this is a really neat opportunity to know them better. I can't wait! =D

By the way, regarding the blog post below, I guess I will stick to my initial decision. Boy, I really need to begin studying as soon as possible for all my subjects. This is one exam I definitely do not want to screw up! Anyway, thanks a lot guys for commenting and inputting your opinions. I really appreciate them! Thanks guys! *hugs all*

[+] There's more!

Last night, I was haunted with very bad thoughts - school related thoughts that is. Boy, I wonder if I suffer from pre-school (no, not kindergarten; before school) symptom! But seriously, I myself realised that I did not do much study on this subject called Sociology. So far, I only did light reading on the first three chapters (skipping the second one), and those are the syllabus for Paper 1! I have yet to study 4 more for Paper 2. *groan*

I think a little bit of explanation will shed some light on this current dilemma. Sociology is NOT a subject offered in my school and it is NOT a popular subject. Heck, only a few people in my country take it each year! Sometimes, I think I am stupid for falling into my excitement and taking it, not weighing the consequences I may have to face and the work dued prior to exams. Actually, there's more to that. I spent quite some time last year researching on what I would like to major in for university (so I have 3 more years to go--inclusive this year) and it was when I discovered how much fun Sociology can be. The study of society. This is what I can call life education. At least I can gain the knowledge of how groups of people function, and I can understand more about what's going on in the news. Science fails to explain that.

Okay, no, Sociology isn't what I wanted to major in. I found out that Psychology is more to my liking; the study of how humans behave and of course, oneself. Nothing can get better than that (although Biology is slowly becoming more of my fancy). I was thinking of majoring both (uh-oh, unwishful thoughts!).

I don't know, I do not want to give them too much thought. I just let life takes it course. I definitely do not want to despair at another failed plan and besides, 2 years is a long year and anything can happen!

Anyway, somehow, someway, I found out that Sociology is indeed a subject offered at O Levels and that means I don't need to wait until A Levels to take up Sociology. Okay, so my little 15 years old version of myself was ecstatic and overjoyed. I did more research to confirm that "Yes! I should take it." and I did (Mind you, I was already so biased by my own thoughts!). I bought my textbook recommended by CIE (the exam board for international O Levels) from Amazon.co.uk and I wrote a letter to the school telling them of my desire to take up this subject for my upcoming O Levels. I was given the green light and I was allowed to sit for this exam externally and register through the school for the exam (does that mean I can sit for this exam at my school?).

Now, I'm in a big trouble. I've just broken my "I will do my very best for the upcoming examinations" promise as so far, I am slacking off in this subject. Yeah, I know I am interested in this subject but seeing the really thick textbook discourages me and the amount of content I've got to remember - hoo boy!

Can I successfully juggle my 9 subjects, i.e. Malay, English, Maths, Biology, Chemistry, Physics, Computer Studies, Geography and Sociology? I know four of these subjects have an extraordinary load of content!

I'm scared and paranoid now. Suddenly, I don't think I can do it. But I got to persist now that I've already got my approval from the school. Or should I just back it out and stick to my 8 subjects?

I admit... Another reason why I took this subject is also because a few of the other guys (the smarties) took up an extra subject as well. So, to not feel left out, I took up an extra one too as well.

And I never told anyone about my decision.

So, I am now proving to my peers (and to teach the top students - well, not all but my rivals and one arrogant one who I don't quite like) that I will be the odd one up and take up this subject.

A big mistake? I guess...

I already weighed this as my concern but didn't think too much about it. Now that registration forms are to be given to us when school reopens in February, I cannot help BUT seriously wonder what the whole school will think.

"WHAT?! Why a smart guy like you is taking a stupid subject like this?"

"My God! So instead of taking up Additional Maths/Geography as your ninth subject, you took up THIS?"

"Boy, are you stupid!"

"Come on! Everyone can do that!"

"Why, (insert my name), why?!"

"You abandoned us..." (said by the top students)

"Why take up this wussy subject?" (said by the guys)

And a plethora of questions sent hurling towards me. It happened when I dropped Additional Maths in favour of Geography. In fact, I can very well assure you that it will happen, again!

Can I seriously stand up against all the questions and insults thrown to me? Dare I to be different?

Initially, I said, "Yeah!"

Now, I will creep towards the smallest mouse hole at my house and force myself inside and hide myself there.

I'm seriously weird. People will be asking me, "Why aren't you utilising your smartness and take up some challenging subject like [stress]Additional Maths[/stress]?"

Fact: I am not so interested in Maths-oriented subjects even though I enjoy doing it at times.
Fact: I am more interested in humanities. Then again, I dislike History (because of the large number of facts, names and dates that have to be crammed into my brain) and Economics (I just cannot stand learning the theories of business!).

But I never tell this to people, of course. I have to CONSTANTLY repeat myself, and I find that my shootbacks lack strength anyway.

*sigh* I suppose I'm self-conscious (or as my best friend have put it, image-conscious). *embarrassed* But I can't help it. Why does people have to constantly question me? Then again, I do the same too. *shrug*

Or maybe I can just drop it and run away from all these potential problems. I'm considering this option as well.

And I have another problem. My elder brother is stressing me to leave for university when I graduate Year 11 this year. He "advices" me to take up a foundation course instead of A Levels. The thing is, I'm not ready to leave my home at the young age of 17 and secondly, foundation courses are worse than A Levels. But he says they are more focused, and no one does A Levels nowadays. He said that A Levels are for those who cannot afford to go university and needs to find a job asap.

But I think he's bloody wrong. Hey bro, this is the second millennium, not the 90's!

He wants to know my decision during Chinese New Year when he comes back. And he wants to hear me saying "I will do the foundations".

NO!

ARGH!!! I'm so frustrated. Year 11 is starting to bite me! =(

I really need your opinions on this, guys, please? Happier blog posts will follow soon.

[+] There's more!

Hi guys! I finally got the time to switch over and successfully migrated the site from HTML to XHTML. Man, it was tough work at first as I thought I have messed up horribly when previewing offline (the sidebar FLEW up to the left corner and got jumbled with the blog posts!), but fortunately it's fine in Blogger.

I don't know why! I had spent an hour or so trying to figure out what is wrong with my codings (they were all correct!). Thought I should give it a shot a try previewing it with Blogger, and voila! It's completely fine!

*scratches head*

So anyway, I have added a Favicon to this blog, which is that cute little icon up there next to my blog address. Yep, that's the one! If you'd like to make one, come and take a look at this neat tutorial. It's pretty simple to understand! If you would like to host the .ico file but don't know where, don't hesitate to ask me; I'll gladly host it up for you at my unused Goggle Page.

Internet Explorer users will no longer see a cramped blog post with two cliffs (paper) jutting out from the ends. There's some problems with the CSS coding, and I resolved it by adding a DIV tag.

I also freshened up the comments field in each individual post page. Click the number at the post below, or any past posts, and check it out! =)

Yep, that's basically it. Hahaha, I have yet to get myself familiarised with the new Blogger tags! Maybe next time! ;)

*sigh* And I shouldn't stay up so late at night. Got to sleep earlier than this time. Well, see you guys later!

[+] There's more!

It is only the fourth day of the year, and I have failed to stick to my resolutions. Here's how I broke each one of them:

1. Yesterday, I was supposed to spend my some of my time refreshing my mind on previous German lessons and doing my music theory. Unfortunately, I was too caught up with eBay that I completely put them aside. I never did them both yesterday. I had to wake up early today and try to cram German into my brain (I've failed miserably). Thank goodness my teacher taught me new things and did some light revision with me.

And I never did my music theory. I was happily practicing a few songs by Richard Clayderman. Hehehe. I was hoping that my teacher would tell me to play these songs just now, but we concentrated instead on polishing my ABRSM exam pieces.

Oh yeah, not to mention doing my school holiday homework. *rolls eyes* I wish my school wouldn't undergo renovations this year. Seriously, I'm so going to stress a lot later in February to November; having classes and extra classes and Science practical lessons from Mondays to Saturdays with 3 more extra-curricular activities I have signed up for... Even typing that out is stressful! =P

2. Patience, hmmm. Yeah, I remember I was pretty annoyed with my mom when she was complaining about the dinner she had in a restaurant with her relatives and us. Inefficiency of services, that's what she was mainly fussing about. I felt really embarrassed. I mean, does she have to make a mountain out of a molehill? Their service wasn't so bad. Oh, and her relatives couldn't find the restaurant and she wasn't too happy to give them the directions. Guess she was in a bad mood. I got into a bad mood too. I tried to tell myself, it's okay, but in the end, I think I sulked in front of them. *shrug*

3. I never did sports these past few days. Consider resolution void. =P

I broke my resolutions! Does this mean I can continue living without them? No, of course not! Trying to stick my resolution will help me in my life, ignoring them means that my bad habit (the procrastination one) will stay.

I have tried to attend to things I have to do early these past few days, and it definitely helps a lot to not procrastinate. If not, I wouldn't be even typing out this blog post, as I will be calling up post office, settling a problem with my eBay buyer, making reservations at a Japanese restaurant and booking tickets to the cinema for an outing with my best friend tomorrow, sprucing up my room and replying to emails.

I have dealt with most of them, and now I am feeling so "free" from tasks at the moment, if you know what I mean! I got to keep up with this good work.

I don't think I really need to bother about the second resolution. I don't think I am patient enough to deal with my patience patiently! =D But I definitely need to do some sports (third resolution). It's no good letting my bum kiss the chair and my eyes glue to the monitor screen! =P

Okay, so currently my mom's relatives are in my house, watching a recording of my dad's 60th birthday downstairs. I should be joining them and accompanying them and all (you know, family obligations? =S), but instead I'm up here. Why?

Well, I don't know. I feel pretty much uncomfortable with them. I don't know why. I don't even understand most of the Hokkien thrown from one person to another. I'm not really close to them either. It's terrible. I'm not close to any of my relatives at all! I guess that is a really bad thing. I don't even know most of my paternal relatives (10 aunts and uncles), especially my cousins. I don't even talk to them, and I don't even know most of their names.

This is terrible, yet I can't really do anything about it. I don't even dare to talk to them. I know they won't bite of course, but that's just me. I feel shy and intimidated especially when HORDES of them come over for Chinese New Year.

Just thinking about that gives me the shivers. *is shivering*

And about the eBay PayPal problem (it's actually PayPal). I realise that PayPal doesn't fully support my country, i.e. I can buy, but I cannot sell. In other words, I can only send money, not receive money. So that really complicates my whole sale. I didn't know about it until this Canadian buyer told me that he is unable to pay via PayPal because my account cannot receive his payment at all. Great! So now, I tried contacting eBay (and the answer I received wasn't really that helpful) and am trying to resolve the problem with him and giving him alternative payment methods.

I admit, I am NOT supposed to even open an eBay account because I'm under 18. But then again, I really want to sell some books I don't read and are taking up bookshelf space, plus clothings and my mom's unwanted stuffs. And I got my mother's consent anyway. I really half-regretted to even begin selling, I didn't expect such complicated problems to arise. Oh well, wish me lots of luck in settling the problem!

There was another problem actually that precedes that, and that is the exorbitant shipping costs set by my local Post Office. I cannot believe it costs US$24 just to send one book from here to Canada. It's so expensive! UPS (a courier serve) offers to ship the book for US$25, and it is much more reliable despite the $1 difference. I was worried my buyer couldn't accept it, but fortunately he expected for that to happen to.

Unfortunately, he couldn't pay!

*shrugs*

So that was what kept me busy these past few days. It is indeed a great experience to learn from, I must say, but before that, I have got to deal with this professionally and ask my mom for advice on how a cheque/money order can be cashed into her account. This is so frustrating, I have forgotten most of the Commercial Studies I have learned in Year 7 - 9.

Guess that's all for the time being. I'll keep you guys updated through this blog. See you guys soon!

[+] There's more!

Just this morning, when I woke up and checked up the comments in the blog post below, I got the biggest shock in my life: My best friend has found out my secret blog. It was of course my mistake, I accidentally posted 2 comments with this username I'm having now at my other blog which I share with him. I was really scared and I didn't know what to do. I panicked (naturally, for me) and quickly removed those comments which could cost me my privacy and secrecy.

Now I'm paranoid that in that span of roughly 12 hours, how many friends of mine have actually clicked on that comment, saw mine there, and curiously checked out my blog site? I shudder to think about it. Fortunately, my fears were suppressed greatly by the fact that only my best friend has only stumbled upon this blog so far, and I really hope that no one else has. If they really do, expect to see a relocation of this site if I feel my privacy and security has been jeopardized.

I then signed in to MSN, hoping that he's online and sooner or later, he came on! I immediately asked him about so many things relating to his discovery. I guess that it was only fated for him to find out about this website, and for me to accidentally commented with my username. Soon, the topic went on to our friendship, and we both learned a lot from each other, repaired and strengthened the fragility of our relationships and in the end, we welcomed each other back into each of our lives. It has been indeed, a very trying year for us last year and we had some communication barriers which unfortunately, has lead to the downfall of our relationships.

I'm really glad that his discovery had taken place, as without it, we would still be "far" from each other. Talk about a blessing in disguise. It was definitely the sweetest start to a new year. I shall never, ever forget it and I thank him that he will always be there for me and for taking the time to chat with me. It definitely cleared up the fog between us.

Once again, I thank you so, so much, my dear best friend =). And you are always welcome here anytime!


There is so much to comprehend, but I'm glad everything is clear now. A fresh start to a new year, and that is great! Of course, a new year comes with another New Year's Resolutions which I hope I will not break this year. I must, must, must be fully committed to it! Even though it's easier said than done.

Genies dish out three free wishes, and because of that, I should write out three resolutions. There isn't much point trying to be "greedy" and writing out 10 pages long of resolutions when I can break each and every one of them. Talk about a world record! =P

1. Send my devil of procrastination to hell, permanently. I have this tendency to procrastinate things, postponing and delaying doing them up until the very last minute. I don't know why I do that. I guess it's better to be late than never. What an excuse! Well, procrastination has brought me so many difficulties and scoldings and bombings from people. And it actually made my effort seem so in vain. Like studying last minute, and I got results lower than expected (even though it is way better than so many students in my class!). Doing projects last minute, which ensures me of a bad hair day tomorrow and of course, getting cranky when bombarded by the relevant people. Even to telling my mother last minute that I have to go somewhere in the next hour, which resulted in me getting scolded by her. Whoops!

See how many problems my inner devil had landed me into? There are many, many more examples, but I cannot remember them all. But I know that it always ended up with me being sorry with myself, which is often too late. So I'm determined to send that blasted devil to hell, and sending me to many successes, including getting good grades in my O Levels. Wish me lots of luck in tackling this; the most difficult feat of all time.

2. Be patient. I am not always a very patient person. Even though I may appear patient, but deep inside, oh how I wish knives will be sent flying towards that poor guy! I have to be patient with my dad who is known to take up lots of preparation time prior to going out. I have to be patient with myself who keeps getting into tantrum when things don't go their way. I have to be patient with everyone; family, friends and teachers included. And to be patient, one must learn to understand those around him, and put himself into other people's shoes. So that's what I'm going to do. Tough, but if I can master it, my life will be so much easier to live. =P

3. Keep fit and do more sports! I've just discovered recently how reasonably unfit I was. I lost my flexibility due to laziness, or procrastination, and my stamina went from good to not so good. Which is bad, as exercising is vital to keeping a good health. Without it, I will feel lethargic, easily tired, and very quickly getting very frustrated and sulky. And of course, no energy to even fulfill my resolutions. I have to try and take up taekwondo in my own free time, run whenever possible (so that I can join in my country's marathon later in December, hahaha!), stretch more, and improve my swimming. So many things, so little time.

Yep, I think that is it. Three. They aren't a lot, but boy, are they tough to stick to and fulfill. Nevertheless, I've got to try my best and make good use of 2007. I want this year to be as productive as, or even better than, last year.

I don't know why, but I'm pretty optimistic about this year. I think I can do it. I hope that I wouldn't say the opposite in a few days' time!

I guess everyone has crossed into the New Year already. Congratulations to everyone for making it to 2007! Once again, a very Happy New Year to everyone!

[+] There's more!

My family and I were tuning in to Phoenix channel, and we saw how Taiwan welcomed the New Year. Oh my gosh, after we counted down loudly (together with the people in Taiwan via TV), Taipei 101 spurted out many colourful fireworks into the air from each "bamboo stem"! It was absolutely amazing. Hugs were exchanged and each family member gave each other the New Year's wish.

Today marks Day 1 of 2007. 20 minutes has passed.

Hello 2007! =)

[+] There's more!