I woke up this morning grumbling in frustration because I woke up pretty late. I promised myself that I would wake up earlier and immediately get my hands on my assignments. So, I stormed down the stairs to have my breakfast. One of the maids pissed me off when she wondered out aloud why I was looking for breakfast when I did not take away any pastries from the supermarket last night. I was at a different supermarket to shop for stationery! Naturally I didn't think about tomorrow's breakfast!

My mom saw me wearing a long face and she could not take it anymore. She blew up, and I received the worst lecture in my entire life.

I was so worried by my projects which I did last minute, it pressured me too much. I was unable to handle the pressure and this affects my entire being. I was paralyzed, because I realised how deep in the shit I was. I just cannot see how I am able to solve the problem! Despite how much I tried, I just could not finish it on time.

She began telling me off. She said that my attitude changed, from bad to worse. And she went on to say other bad traits she has found in me. I cried, and cried. I did not see how much of a bad person I have become over the years, especially to my parents, and to my family. I have been snubbing and ignoring them. And somehow, I became a worse person and without realizing it, I became a cold, ruthless stranger before my own eyes. I transformed.

I became a somebody who I did not like. I hate him. I hate myself.

Being a spoilt and ignorant brat at home, and acting nice, sweet, and kind to others... It shows that I am two-faced. I am an actor. I am a really good faker, showing people the sincerity which I did not show at home.

It's pretty ironic how you don't treat your loved ones and especially your parents the same love you shower to other people.

The point is that my mother just want me to stop wearing the black face and tell the whole world how much the pressure is gripping and strangling me, expecting sympathy and help from others. It affects the mood of people when they see me fuming. It's called being an inconsiderate wimp. I should have helped myself earlier by being a smart student and work on my assignments when Day 1 of the holidays began.

She began to wonder how on earth was I chosen to become a school prefect when I'm not even showing such a fine example to my little brother. She warned me that she will tell the teachers all of my negative traits if she catches me being like an ungrateful wretch again. I was really frightened. I didn't want that to happen.

After hearing all that she has to say, I only began to realize one thing. I have been my parents' disappointment. Even my dad shook his head and tries to calm my mom down, "It's no use. No matter how many times you tell him off, he will never even get it into his head!"

My mother commented, "You may be diligent. But your barbaric attitude sucks."

Throughout the whole time, I was crying and trying to comprehend the truth she jammed into my head. It hurts a lot. =( And it's all too true...

It was not until a long time that I gathered the strength to stop crying and I decided to do something. I took out a piece of paper and I wrote down the bad traits my mother had pointed out while adding some more I see fit to be in the list of about 15. I prayed to my gods, something I have not really done for a long time, begging for forgiveness and a chance a renew myself. I thanked them for making my mother lecture me which was a wake up call. I simply cannot go on living like a grouch.

I went to the verandah. I reread my list, try to take them into heart. Carefully, I pulled out a lighter and I burned it in front of my very eyes. It was really difficult to see the paper burning. My words, my bad qualities, slowly turning into ashes. I teared a little as I watched the list burn, but I know it's for my own good to turn over a new leaf. My heart ached when I see it slowly crumple into dust and ashes.

From that point onwards, I moved on to become someone better and to regain my old spirit. Otherwise, life will toy me around if I don't take charge of my own. There is a saying that goes "Charity begins at home". I don't know about charity, but it has to begin somewhere in myself and with my family.

Please, give me a chance a renew myself. I'll prove to you that I will do much more better than my current pathetic attempts of changing myself. The journey is tough, but I really must persevere. No more whining and no more feeling sorry for myself.

This blog post was not written to let you guys know of this. Its main intention was to serve as a reminder for me: The Sunday morning of June 24, 2007 marks a new journey to be a better man.

[+] There's more!

I woke up a couple of times this morning with my heart pounding pretty fast. At first, I didn't know what happened until visions of my nightmare returned to haunt me. It was really scary, I was so afraid of going back to sleep. No, it isn't one of those nightmares involving ghouls and spectres. It was a robbery happening right in my house! =O

I remembered I was in the living room with my ex-Science teacher. I had no idea why she was there in the first place. Anyway, I was instructed to open the gate for one of my friend's mother as she was coming to get my friend's photographs. I don't know why it happened too. A few minutes passed and a car came up and parked itself in the driveway. I looked out of the curtain and I saw an unfamiliar face of a pretty Malay lady who was donning a local attire. Without pondering much, I went out to have a look and carelessly left the door open.

All of a sudden, one of my mom's colleagues popped out and he and the lady just stomped into the house, pushing aside me. I was in a daze of confusion. My gut instincts began to warn me of an imminent robbery. That was it. Soon, I "saw" (or rather, felt) what was taking place upstairs. The entire house was ransacked and I developed a feeling that the robbers knew what they were after.

I did not know what to do. I was terrified by not only the situation, but also fearing my own safety as well as losing possessions. Till that point, I have never witnessed a real robbery. In the Sims 2 game, robbery had taken place a few times and more often than not, the robber was apprehended. I even thought it was quite funny to see my Sims screaming in hysteria and acting all nervous when the robber was stealing their possessions a few times. Not in my nightmare! I watched helplessly as the robbers cleaned out the entire house, and they made a clean getaway in their car, zooming off into the night.

I realised I was feeling shakey and nervous all the time. When I managed to calm my nerves a little, a voice inside my head told me to check on my ATM card (of all things!). Panicking, I zoomed up the stairs and headed into my bedroom, half wishing that my room was spared. It wasn't. The minute I opened the drawer where I kept my wallet, I couldn't find my wallet. I was infuriating and flabbergasted! I checked the other drawer where I kept the only bank statement I received so far. It was gone as well.

Paranoia began to eat my insides. All the money I have collected and save will be gone before the next day! =( I tried to think of every possibility to save my money and thank goodness I had an idea. To call the bank, of course! Tell the bank that my ATM card was stolen and to request them to deactivate the card. I rushed down and open the telephone directories. I tried to search for "ATM" in vain but I could not find it. My heart sank with dread and before I knew it, I blacked out and I returned to my bed.

I tried to open my eyes and lay there on my bed gasping for oxygen. I can't believe the robbery had petrified me so much! At first, I did not dare to look around my room for fear of encountering the robber. What if it was real? It felt too real! I was dreading that my ATM card had really disappeared. As much as I wanted to check to clear my conscience, I did not want to as I did not want to wake up. I plucked my courage and looked around from after many minutes, scanning everything and also any silhouettes lurking around. Thank goodness I didn't find any. I began to chant prayers to dispel any "energy" or "presence" that might disturb my sleep. I couldn't sleep for some time. I was too engrossed in my thoughts of that robbery.

Why didn't I phone the police? Did nervousness got the better of me? The robbers could have been caught by the police if only I acted faster. Why didn't i? Why had I let the robbers in to my house? I doubted myself and my actions in the dream. It really shows that I have little preparedness in emergencies. I was also thinking of allocating a safe hiding place for my valuables but what if the robbers knew where they were, or if they unknowingly stole the box or whatever that housed my possessions?

It took quite a while to clear my thoughts. I then slipped into slumberland, dreaming about adventures like those in the Twilight Princess game I played recently. I also dreamed about school (oh no!) and another robbery, this time at the ATM machine, although I did not remember much of it.

I'm glad that despite all these nightmares and dreams, I still managed to get a sound sleep after all those nights of sporadic sleeps. I was actually dreading to go to sleep last night as I did not want a poor quality sleep. =S

Why all these dreams? Are they somehow stress-related? I have just realized that most of my dreams these past few days somehow were related to school...

I'm not spending the last week of my school holidays that well too. After a week of playing the Twilight Princess game, I had to go back to work on my holiday assignments, two of which are the major ones which are the O Levels computer coursework and the Flash animation for an upcoming competition. I have done absolutely nothing for the latter. I could not concentrate on working even these two. I totally regretted playing that game, and I wish to regain that lost time. I refuse to believe that the holidays are meant to catch up on schoolwork. I was hoping that I could self-improve myself in vocabulary and maybe revising a little. I could do none of these things! My brain was screaming at me to relax and not do any productive work whereas my conscience said otherwise.

I think I have landed myself in major trouble, for once again leaving everything till the last minute. Congratulations, idiot, you learned nothing after all! I have no idea what causes this. I used to be a pretty ardent workaholic but now, my concentration span could not last 10 minutes before I get distracted again.

I'm lethargic, languid, lazy, lackadaisical, and whatever adjectives starting with "L" which describes my current lethargy. I simply have no mood nowadays to go on doing my assignments or even doing some productive work. Nor do I have to mood to enjoy myself. I don't understand why. It is as if there's something clogging my brain.

I can only do things when I have the mood and the heart to do it. I will not bother trying to do anything when I don't have the mood. *sigh*

I don't know what am I supposed to do now. I have no more choice but to force myself to finish up all my assignments. I am so going to be in deep trouble when school reopens. Oh God, help me! =( All these things are really killing me! I'm so frustrated and disappointed with myself!

[+] There's more!

I suddenly have this desire flickering inside me to be free. To get my own car and run away from home into places I consider a haven, e.g. parks, beaches. I don't like to tell my driver or my parents where to fetch me too as it is entirely a personal matter. I hate to be so dependent on them.

Today is a really lazy day for me. Never in my life have I felt so lethargic or lackadaisical. There are many things that I want to do today, yet I've spent the entire time in front of my PC. Just now, I was craving to swim in a cool pool! =O I have not swum for several weeks already and I'm afraid my stamina in water can no longer hold past 50 metres. I wanted to swim in the local stadium but I heard that the place doesn't have a clean washroom. Some more, it's not within walking distance (but a stone's throw away if I were to drive there). I don't want to trouble anyone to pick me there. Boy, it was terribly difficult to suppress that urge.

When I thought I have successfully eradicated the want to swim, suddenly I have this urge of wanting to head down to a park. It's too bad they are quite some distance away from my house and I don't have a car! =(

I would love to go to these places alone without any companion. I want solitude in doing these activities. I truly appreciate the absence of someone who can monitor each and every movement mine, and his presence greatly restricts what I long to do. I want to enjoy beautiful sceneries on my eye and enjoy the setting sun by the pristine river with the glimmering palace somewhere in the background. I want to swim a few laps and float on the water and just enjoy the sensation of the cool water lapping my body.

What about going snorkeling in the sea and watch the beautiful tropical marine life unfurling before my very eyes? To dare myself and touch the fish and to soak up that sensation. I'm not too sure whether it's available in my country, but I do know that just crossing the border, there are many places to snorkel.

Oh, this reminds me that I really should treat myself one day and check in into that luxurious five-star hotel and exploit its facilities, from beautifully landscaped grounds with swimming pools and the beach to its gym, notably the spa! Ahhh... *cannot help but smile at this thought* To spend a day in its suite and its ultra-comfortable bed.

To enjoy such luxuries myself is still a far fetched dream. I do hope I can do that once my important exams are all over. I love to have this treatment! *heart pounds*

It's too bad I have to let someone know of these desires before I can do this. Really, I wish I can just kapoof and end up at these places just like that.

Am I asking for too much? Lol! Hey, it doesn't hurt to dream, does it? ;) I do wish these desires will be picked up by someone telepathically. No, that will be creepy. Hahaha! I guess I can only long for these...

[+] There's more!

I was tagged by the lovely whenn to do this meme which I believe similar memes have been circulating around blogs for quite some time already. I was also tagged by Irish Church Lady quite a while back on a similar meme. I thought I would take this opportunity to combine them into one, but that doesn't mean I'll list down 8+5=13 facts about me! I don't think I am able to do that! =P

Anyway, here are the rules for this meme:

1. I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.

2. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.

3. People who are tagged need to write their own post about their eight things and post these rules.

4. At the end of your post, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.

5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

Without further ado, here I go!

1. Just today in German class, my mom didn't show up after the class ended. To make full use of the time, my Deutschelehrenin continued teaching me. When my mom failed to show up 15 minutes later, I was getting paranoid and I started to form strange thoughts in my head. My concentration wavered and I couldn't understand what my teacher is explaining (Perfect tense is a murder, I tell you! Even in the English language!). I perspired a little in her cool house when she offered to allow me to stay and have lunch. I could feel my heart jump out! I know she was being nice and courteous about it, but honestly, it would feel really awkward to dine with her family members who might ask funny questions about my life and probably converse in German! =S

I'm more worried that I wouldn't be able to go home. I don't know why I have this irrational fear of not going home. I hate the fact that I have to rely on people for transportation. I really wish I have my own car (even a stationwagon will do; I'm not picky) or my country has better public transportation. The buses are completely unreliable, trains are non-existent, taxis are notorious for charging passengers ridiculously and it is a norm, no, a must, to have at least a car here. The fear of not being able to return home is frightening.

In the end, I found out that my mom had been waiting outside the whole time for half an hour. We didn't notice it. I was worried she would act up in front of my teacher but fortunately, it was uneventful. I stayed silent throughout the whole journey back home, trying to reel in from the shock. Poor mom! She couldn't understand what really was going on in my head!

2. Speaking of silence, I always stayed silent in car rides. No, I don't talk with my driver with the exception of telling him where to go. Nor do I talk to my parents who fetch me sometimes. It seems awkward at first but after a while, I appreciate the silence and I spend time reflecting on anything while staring at the all too familiar scenery zooming past the window. I think the people who rarely pick me up and transport me around find this very strange. I think so too...

3. Ringing telephone and doorbells always produce an averse effect on me. I totally hate it, and I even have a fear of it. Let's call this "ring-ring-phobia". I can recall how this started actually. Back in Year 9, we students have to work on a computer project for the public examinations. Despite the teachers' explanations, some doofuses (sorry to say this) have the cheek to constantly call me and ask for help, expecting me to spoonfeed them. Hey, I was busy too and I had no time to entertain their useless calls. Seriously, I wished they could ask the teacher instead. Yet, I was too weak to say no to their insistent begs. So everytime when the phone rang, I start to dread and began fearing.

That is why unlike most teenagers, I absolutely have no intention of getting a mobile phone. I think when the phone rings, I will start throwing tantrums and curse before answering the phone and greet the person sweetly. Ugh, talk about faking! Hahahaha! =P And can't they use Windows Live Messenger and e-mail to contact me instead? I'm online almost everyday anyway! Those facilities weren't invented for no reason! ;)

The fear of doorbell rings, on the other hand, arose because my little brother has this funny quirk of ringing doorbells incessantly when he sometimes arrive at home. It sounds very annoying!

4. Then, we come to having guests at my house. Sorry to say this, but I have a fear of guests. Let's call this gestrophobia (hahaha!). I especially dread Chinese New Year, the time when my parents always have an open house and somehow, hordes of friends, relatives and acquaintances flock into our house, filling every inch of space in the living room. It's creepy to see hundreds of people visiting your house. =( I don't fancy it at all, not even one bit. I quiver as I walk down the stairs into the living room with hundreds of eyes staring at my direction. It feels awkward too! *shudder*

A house is supposed to be a private and peaceful abode of one. It isn't really meant to be visited by people. I don't believe people should invade that privacy and come to have a look at what really is going on. My household is "different". People might think things. I don't want them to form the wrong impression.

To be truthful, this fear mainly stems from the fact that the piano is in the living room. If you can remember from this blog post, you know what that means. Some snobby friends of my parents want to listen to my music playing and I haven't got nice experiences with performing in front of people...

5. I'm a closet pianist. I don't perform for people. I perform for myself. I can't sight read. And I don't think you'll believe I'm a Grade 7 pianist. I can't believe that either. I don't think I even deserve to be bestowed that high a grade. The only songs I can play are my 3 ABRSM exam pieces. It's pretty sad, I know. There is a local Malay idiom that goes tinggi-tinggi payau which means being in higher grade although displaying little basic knowledge.

Unlike most musicians, I'm not musically inclined or talented. Sure, the emotions may be there, but the technicalities are not accurate. Sometimes I wonder whether all these years, I have just wasted my parents' money in doing something I'm not good at. Heck, sometimes I don't even know what I am doing. I struggle to sight read. Just this afternoon, I wanted to play a simple Grade 2 standard sheet music for a music in the Twilight Princess game but I struggled and wasn't able to sight-read it properly. It came off as ugly cacophony of noises. I was so frustrated that I stopped playing it after the second try.

Sometimes, I think there really isn't much point in playing the piano even though I enjoy playing the limited music I know for myself. It's not like I'm going to persue a career in music or wanting to dedicate my life to music. Many times, I feel discouraged with my piano, and I question a lot in my piano playing skills. The other day, a friend of mine who is going to sit for the Grade 7 practical exam wanted to hear me play the jazzy song we both were playing. I think I went pale. I immediately rejected him. I can't. I didn't prepare adequately (I'm still not prepared for it).

I am so going to fail my Grade 7 exam. *sigh* So many frustrations with this silly musical instrument. Hahahaha, and I'm taking of picking up violin. Hoo boy! I am so ridiculous! >.<

6. I don't remember people's birthdays. I don't really give birthday gifts to them either. I think I'm stingy. Anyway, I don't really celebrate my birthday too. I just want my birthday to be a perfect day where nothing goes wrong, not throwing extravagant birthday parties or having a dinner with family and friends. I hate my way of thinking, but that's just the way I am. =( In an episode of Teen Titans, Raven wasn't so enthusiastic about celebrating her birthday, but that's only because she was doomed to some prophecy. If it wasn't for that, I can totally relate myself to her.

7. You can guess that I'm a party pooper. Hahaha, I'm not exactly that kind. I just am not the party kind of person as I don't really enjoy parties. You will definitely find me either sitting alone at that corner and wishing time will pass by quickly so that I can get home, or I will be making small chats with close friends of mine. People find me strange acting like that. Again, I can't help but feel the odd one out among the party-goers. My kind of party will be spending a comfortable, intimate time with my lover, by the fireplace in a cold, wintry night. (Impossible considering where I live.)

8. People have caught me staring into space and just blank out. I can stare at anything and everything, from tyres and tables to trees and buildings. Out of the blue, I can just zone out just like that and begin to think about absolutely anything. There was one time when my friend caught me smiling. I think I must have creep her out. Lol! =P

There you have it. 8 completely random facts about me. =D This took a while! ;) I won't be tagging anybody in particular since everyone has already done this, or a similar meme. So I'll leave it to you guys whether you are game or not. Check out my weirdness meme here and here for even more odd facts about me. ;)

See you guys soon and have a great weekend!

[+] There's more!

Sorry if I have neglected this blog for quite some time, especially without saying what I was up to. In fact, I have pretty much neglected my own life and I had dedicated my time during the past 5 days to playing this superbly entertaining and exciting game called The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. And I'm proud to say that I finished the game! =D



I did that without any external help from either a strategy guide book or online. I'm so happy of my accomplishment! =D Okay, I admit, Midna (an ingame main character) helped me a lot by telling me vague clues, but that's in the game itself! =P It feels so immensely satisfying to complete the puzzles ingame by yourself. I cannot believe I did it all on my own accord, so much so I've overtaken my brother's progress in a matter of a few days. (And being brothers, I took every opportunity to rub it in his face and go "Nyah nyah nyah! I'm better than you". =P) Hahaha! I can remember the last time when I played the previous The Legend of Zelda series, I had to frequently ask my brother how to progress from the difficulties I am stuck with. This time, I make sure that I exercised and made full use of my grey matter and scrutinized every nook and cranny in the game that, no matter how minor, is essential to progress the adventure further.

This game is seriously the bomb and it is incredibly addictive. I remember vividly that I was glued to the sofa in the living room for almost the whole day and with sweaty hands, I invested every ounce of energy manoeuvring my character. Wielding the sword and shield, with dexterity I try to kill, stab and slice gruesome monsters. I too use other weapons I acquire along the way to aid in my quest of killing bosses and overcoming obstructions that come along my way. Transforming into a wolf and back into a human is fun too and of course, not forgetting the few moments of getting stuck at a particular place for a good hour or two before I loudly utter an "Oh!" for not thinking or looking at the obvious and laugh at myself.

Those were the good old times (although they're just days ago). Time, at that time, played little significance in my life. The difference between day and night was blurred. Yes, the game was that engrossing! =O The only thought that was in my mind is the (mis)adventures of that game. I eat, drink and sleep Twilight Princess! =P

I am so glad I thought of picking up this game immediately when the school holidays begin! Otherwise, I would not be able to concentrate on the holiday homework and projects I need to complete. =( Maybe I should not be thinking of it, but starting tomorrow, I have to spend time with my work (or even showing at the very least some dedication to it). After all, it wouldn't be that fair if I concentrate more on my game than my work. Now, if only I could work as hard as I play! ;)

The Twilight Princess game has many qualities that has made it such a successful game in my eyes. One of the main reasons is that it teases your brain, a lot (there are basic physics involved =) ), but one's observation skill plays a major role in completing this game. You really have to open your eyes wide and take a good look around your character's surroundings. There are many little things out there which are hiding along somewhere, and they are crucial to your progress. And of course, you have to remember things.

I must say the storyline of that game is pretty good. It made a lot of sense and is completely relevant to the game. I have read better stories and watched better movies than that, but for a game, it's awesome! And it actually moved me; I can actually feel myself tearing up at the melancholy parts of the game. And oh how my heart beat in joy when the credits began rolling! =D The ending was what should be expected - a happy one, except for a sudden twist that happened right before the words "The End" flashed in the screen.

SPOILERS AHEAD! Do not read if you are thinking of playing this game, or you are currently playing it! Scroll down to END SPOILER a few paragraphs later.

I cannot believe Midna, revealed as the Princess of Twilight, actually looks ravishing and attractive when the curse was lifted from her. Compared to her previous impish looks, she definitely looks more beautiful and more womanly (I actually preferred her impish cute looks despite her beauty as a true Twili woman). I love her reply when Link was speechless as he feasted his eyes on her for the first time. It went "What? Am I so beautiful you have no words left?". *chuckle*

It was pretty disheartening when she decided to destroy the only link between Hyrule and the Twilight Realm. The tear she shed which I presumed was for Link (the character the player controls) headed for the Mirror of Twilight instead and it shattered for good. Being the true leader of her realm, only she had the power to do that. And she did.

And I thought she would be back. =( She was a really great character. She will truly be missed by me...

END SPOILER

I love how the game designers who created the wonderful world of Hyrule, especially the dungeons. It can be summed up in two words: "Pretty clever!". I admired the way how certain small things altogether can form the big picture. The fact that certain items can combine together to proceed into the game is just marvelous! However, my eyes had to endure agony to carefully look around the game environment to look for the missing piece of the puzzle.

My favourite dungeon is definitely Snowpeak Ruins, a rather dilapidated mansion where a Yeti couple resides, Yeta and Yeto (how cute!). Even before entering the mansion, I was so taken aback by the looks of Yeto when I first encountered him. He wasn't the big, scary yeti I have come to anticipate. He looks pretty harmless and his face exuberates joy and kindness. Whoah! I thought the mansion at first was going to be easy (hey, how hard can a house be) but boy, was I so wrong! It was terribly tough!

The adventures I had in their mansion is humorous! I was supposed to find a key but after Yeta, the sick yeti, gave me the wrong directions (to find ingredients for a soup her husband was boiling indeed! =P). The ending was pretty shocking. Yeta was possessed by a shard of the Mirror of Twilight and she became one gigantic scary monster. Totally unexpected! I mean, she looked harmless and cute initially! The end of the battle was sweet and romantic, with the couple hugging and Yeto declaring his love to his wife, affirming her that he'd rather love her than some stupid mirror. So I got the mirror (yay for me) and as the couple hug, many hearts floated out from them which I gladly collected to fill up my life. =) Very, very cute! Probably the most unique dungeon in the game! It's a big humorous relief from the seriousness of the dungeons I have been.

Following Snowpeak Ruins is Lakebed Temple. I love the architecture of that dungeon which relies on water and canals to complete the adventure. I wish I lived there! =) Another one is Temple of Time. Controlling statues is loads of fun! Another favourite of mine is Arbiter's Ground, for its weapon, the Spinner, and Hyrule Castle, also for its architecture and clever design in hiding the treasures!

I don't really play the mini-games that are seen as optional breaks away from the main adventure. Perhaps the one I like best is the Boat Rental Cabin where one rafts along the fast-flowing Zora River which cuts through a deep gorge. It was loads of fun and it brought back fond memories of me rafting with fellow friends on a trip last year. =)

Although it was difficult to get used to the graphics of the game (I was used to The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker game environment which uses cel-shaded animation, a lot cleaner and crisper), it looked more and more beautiful as I gained control over my character and my sense of direction. In fact, it looked very artistic!

In short, what am I trying to say here?

I highly recommend you guys to try out The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess! It's one of the best games out there (I don't play much games too) and it promises you countless hours of entertainment. Play it! But be forewarned that you might get really hooked on the game and forget about everything else. Don't play it when you have a lot of work to do. Play it if you have a few days of vacation. It's worth it! =)

[+] There's more!

This is the second movement of Dona Nobis Pacem organized by Mimi Lenox! (I participated in the first Dona Nobix Pacem way back last November.) The aims of this blogblast peace shoutout is to get as many bloggers as possible promoting and emphasizing on the subject of world peace, which is crucial in human unity as well as making Earth a better place to live in for all living beings.

War. Terrorism. Hatred. These three are the main criminals which rob away peace and stir uncertainty in our hearts. They wreck havoc on the lives of the innocent people. They breed nothing but contempt, disgrace and paranoia. We certainly can do without these three phenomena and qualities, in fact, life is so much better with these three in our daily lives.

The 9/11 incident was unjustified. The London, Bali and Madrid bombings were pointless. The war on Iraq is simply wasting people's time and preventing the involved parties from developing their own nations. More recently, the JFK Airport terror plot was thankfully averted. All these events have stirred up fear among the locals, and their security is jeopardized. The question on world peace is constantly brought up.

From my perspective, these events have taken place and were properly planned by masterminds. Their main objective is to terrorize people and to instill fear into their lives. To put it rather bluntly, the criminals intended to show who is the boss by manipulating the civilian's minds and traumatizing the victims. They know that fear cripples the people's defences. All this is done just to show one's superiority! Isn't it a selfish and a very attention-seeking motive (not to mention very sadistic)? =(

It is not only terrorism which destroys tranquility. Within a country, citizens can become unrest and unnaturally hostile towards one another due to several prejudices that are rooted in their mind. Just because of differences, people fail to respect them and they start fabricating tall tales and making false assumptions about the other party without even bothering to understand the other party. This happens not only among citizens, but surprisingly even among political leaders as well. Again, they will do anything to try and gain power to rule the country and sadly, this sometimes include taking dirty measures which upset the tranquility of the country.

Come on people! Stop all the violence now! Make peace, not war. =) It's high time for us to work together peacefully with one another, forget the past history which caused so much conflict among our ancestors, forgive and forget one's mistakes.

Take in look in your mirror. What do you see? Now grab a random person and look at his/her reflection in the mirror. Tell me what you see and explain the major similarity you both share. (No, note not the differences.)

We all are human beings. Whatever our "differences", we all belong to the same species. We are all Homo sapiens. And most importantly, we all share the same home in Earth. We should not shed blood and fight over the most menial things. We have come a long way ever since the beginning of Genesis. We have evolved and learned over the years from behaving barbarically like animals into civilized and modern humans who has a very developed sense of thinking. We all should know better to behave rather than to fight and seek trouble with one another.

Diplomacy with one another can actually prevent a lot of fights and bloodshed over the century. From history, we learn that some humans can be quite rash in their actions and are very stubborn as well when it comes to desiring things for their selfish need. Either that, or great wars can emerge from simple misunderstandings which can be resolved by simple and effective communication between people.

Conflicts do not define the essence of humanity. It is love, kindness and benevolence which makes human, well, human! =) Do you feel good to pick fights or argue with someone, even if you are "defending" yourself? Is it satisfying to see you yourself unleashing havoc and making people's life miserable? I tried it and I don't like it one bit. Sooner or later, guilty conscience will haunt you, or karma will get back to you. How can you be genuinely happy if you life is so full of evil? Happiness is the seed of one's inner peace, and with inner peace, one can spread the message of peace and goodwill to the people around him and his life will be so much more meaningful and peaceful. That is when you can start achieving so many things in life.

You might not realize it but once achieving inner peace, you are a living testimony of peace and you can make peace with those around you more effectively. People upon learning that peace really does make the world go round, they too will try and make peace with themselves first, and then with others. This will start off a wonderful chain reaction and before you know it, everyone is now one, big happy family living in a wonderful community.

Now, wouldn't you like that? Of course you do! Now, we have an urgent matter to attend. In case you don't know, our past generations had unknowingly made our planet Earth a bit of an inhospitable place to live in. Look at the residues of urbanization and industrialization. There is so much stinky and smelly filth left behind just like that, in land, in water and in air. Our natural resources are quickly depleting and overpopulation is imminent. We need to learn to share the natural resources and use them considerately as there are many more people who need them. Plus, we need to work together to clean up our environment! Look at the Kyoto Protocol which is more or less a failure as countries are not cooperating with one another to achieve a common goal, i.e. to reduce the greenhouse gases.

(Okay, to be honest, I did a research for a debate the other day and I was to oppose the topic 'Humans are to be blamed for deterioration of the environment'. I found out that some scientists believe global warming is a natural phenomenon and it has had happened before millions of years ago. Coinciding with the Industrial Revolution, Earth was also transiting into an inter-glacial period of warmth. This explains the increase in temperature. Furthermore, carbon emissions by man are of an insignificant value compared to the carbon dioxide which already exists naturally.)

Sorry to go out of tangent but I cannot help but to believe that theory a little bit. I'm not too concerned about global warming, but I am very concerned about the other kinds of pollution that man has created. The rubbish on land and especially Earth's contaminated water supply. We all are heavily dependent on water as if it is our life, so why aren't we doing much to clean up the mess? Why are we still squabbling over the little things that aren't worth our time and energy? We have to do something, together. It's not a one-man show, it is a many-men show. To co-operate, we have to go back on the topic of peace. Peace builds trust, and trust allows us to co-operate easily.

See how important the role of peace is in our lives, and its potential gains when we are in peace with one another? ;) That is why there is this pressing need to promote the idea of peace within fellow men and women (and children). Make peace now for a better tomorrow. Be a good example for our children and the future generation. =) Demonstrate to them the power and beauty of peace, one very important qualities of humanity!

Happy Dona Nobis Pacem! =)



P.S. I was surprised to learn that Mimi has chosen this date for the second Dona Nobis Pacem blogblast. Unknowingly to her (lol!), it falls on my little brother's birthday! Happy Birthday! =D Love you always, no matter what (and even if I don't show it at times =P).

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No, I absolutely refuse to believe it! =O She, Mona Lisa, "backstabbed" her childhood friend who is now overseas. According to the backstabbed friend, she asserted in her blog that Mona Lisa is spreading rumours about her among her friends (?). I am quite vague about whether the rumour is supposedly positive or negative as I have read both parties' blog posts and each has told her different stories from their individual viewpoints.

I came to know about the friction in their friendship when the backstabee blogged about how she came to know of the rumours from her friends back here when they heard these rumours and gossips regarding her from the backstabber. She posted it only the last week and I didn't think too much of it. Maybe because it's just my nature not to get involved in people's businesses although deep inside me, I felt sorry that she was victimised and I was quite angry with the backstabber (I didn't know Mona Lisa was the "criminal" behind it for she wasn't mean enough to stoop down so low to reveal her name) for what she had done to her friend. Besides, I didn't know the whole story and I don't think I left a comment regarding the matter seeing that I didn't know what actually happened.

This morning, a close friend of mine approached me and asked whether I have read the backstabee's blog post or not. I shook my head feverishly since I was busy modding the Sims 2 yesterday. I was surprised to find out that the backstabee finally revealed the person who started the rumours in her blog post and technically, she wrote an accusative post. I did wonder why she was telling me this and in such a urgent tone too. I wanted to get her name so that there would not be any surprises for me but this close friend of mine refused to reveal it to me.

Naturally, I was very curious at that stage. The subject matter wasn't really brought up until the last period. It wasn't right until the minute before school lets out then I somehow guessed the rumours spreader (she did left clues here and there) and as much as I was shocked to learn that, she was too last night. Really now, of all people!

I wished she was cracking a horrible joke but she wasn't. It was like a nightmare coming true! =( It was like some prophecy was fulfilled! (Okay, maybe I watched too much cartoons! =P) It wasn't until a long time later that I can finally accept that she really did do it. I needed to see the blog post myself to fully satisfy myself, and unfortunately, I wasn't able to get home until nearly 5 pm as I had to involve myself in some school activities.

When I saw the backstabee's blog post myself, I was flabbergasted, bewildered, surprised, dumbfounded (you name the synonyms, I have them!). Mona Lisa's full name was printed in bold, capital letters and there was no denying it - it is indeed her! Emotions began to surge through and conflict in my soul. The happy world I had submerged myself in suddenly dissipated. All that was left was a desolate landscape full of hurt, dejectedness and sadness. Suddenly, I welled up into silent anger that was quickly repressed and replaced by sadness and longing.

Is she nothing but a deception? Doubts rushed into my brain. She seemed so nice, so sweet, so kind, so...humanly. And now, the victim thinks she lacks the humanly qualities because Mona Lisa has spread unjustifiable rumours about her. One thing that strikes me the most is that this isn't her first time apparently. She has done it over and over again to her. I can sort of justify her ruthless action if it was her first time, but apparently it wasn't. I guess that is where the trouble stems.

She then went on to talk about the way she begs for sympathy so that she can gain the attention from others. You know, I never thought of it that way until she said it. I wish I can just go up to her and say, "You're lying!" but I don't think she is. I've known her for a few years as an acquaintance and I can safely say that the backstabee isn't the kind who fibs and fabricates stories. She's an honest girl.

Come to think of it, somehow it made some sort of sick sense. I still remember the other day that Mona Lisa asked whether she had done well in a speech competition. She was uncertain with her performance and thought she did badly when in fact, she did well! So she asked for my opinion and I assured her that she was fine. Maybe this is a pretty poor illustration since I do do that too (when I don't feel confident). Her friend gave a few other examples too and when I come to think about it, I realised that they make sense.

So, is she a two-faced person? An angelic demon? I honestly don't know and I can't make a sound judgement because I only got seriously acquainted with her in the third quarter of last year. Even though I have a crush on her, I honestly don't know her much yet.

It is really creepy come to think about it if she really has an evil alter ego. It is very cruel to masquerade as the nice guy and playing with my emotions and others as well to do her every bidding to achieve a selfish motive. I really cannot bring myself to think of her that way. That thought itself creeps me out.

I decided to take a trip to Mona Lisa's blog and see what she has to say. She started by saying that it is sad that people view her as a goodie-goodie two shoes. I was startled when I read her remark and I was deeply disturbed, because I always thought of her as a perpetually nice lass. She then admitted that she had spread rumours, backstabbed people and whatnot before. Another shock for me because I have never thought of her as that kind of person.

So she went on and apologized to the backstabee for talking behind her back but since the rumour was vague, she originally intended it to be positive, and not what the backstabee thought as negative. She then went on to lament about her innocence which sadly, I can't remember much. She did say something about how this wasn't the first time she was blamed for backstabbing though. I have tried accessing her blog just now but it seemed like she had taken it off the Internet a few hours ago. I really don't know why she did it, but it gave me the impression that she was the guilty party.

Who's right now? Who's wrong now?

Oh, I hate these moments! I honestly don't know anymore; I can't judge the situation because I do not know what had actually happened and I don't really know these two people inside out. Whose side should I support? The acquaintance who knows what she is talking about, or my crush who claims that she is innocent and somehow, her intended message were misinterpreted by people?

They both gave their stories. It's really up to me to believe one of their side of the story. I can't do it! I can't tell the truth from lies. Oh dear! =(

Why must this suddenly happen? I really don't know what to do now! My perception of Mona Lisa has completely changed. There goes another crush. There is no happy ending with my crushes at all! =(

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