...a bit! Actually it's more like shock, disbelief, then acceptance, and feelings of admiration and determination. I don't know whether you guys have heard of this before, but this afternoon, I received a forwarded email from my sister and it's about a teenage girl called Jacqueline Saburido who got involved in a "freak" accident and had 60% burns on her body (third-degree burn).

I admit, when I first saw the pictures of her after the accident, I totally freaked out! No offense to her nor anyone, but I have never seen such...pictures before. What happened was she was riding a car with her friends and suddenly a drunk driver crashed into their car which was later caught fire. She was stuck in the car and was burned intensely for 45 seconds! And I feel really sorry and symphathetic after reading her tragedy and I was flabbergasted. I mean, I can't stand little pain and sufferings and I will moan and cry, and here I am reading her account! *trembles*

So, she had to go for intensive surgeries and it took her a couple of years to gradually live a normal life. I really admire her because despite all the pains and sufferings she had to undergo during her therapy, she face them all with a strong and fiery spirit. And I really really admire her determination and courage! For a person who is disabled, she managed to overcome all the odds! Read the full article here. Please, I recommend you to take your time and read it. It's a really good testimony and article.

From my point of view, the moral of this story isn't really about drivers should not drive while drunk (although the authorities there took it as an integral part of their 'Don't drive while drunk' campaign) but it's more on how life can seem very short and precious, and that we should appreciate our life, as well as the everyday things which most of us take for granted. We never know when these will be taken away from us, and only at that time of "removal" will we know how valuable they can be.

I wish her all the best in living her life now.

Her accident and how she managed to go through all the odds will forever get imprinted in my memory for many many more years to come, and something to reflect on when I start to get angsty again =P.

[+] There's more!

Oh man, this is terrible and it gives a terrible blow to my self-esteem! I just realised that my singing is really bad. I was about to record my singing to Breaking Free and host it up to Youtube. After the recording, I decided to play back to make sure that everything's all right before showcasing my talent to the Internet.

Boy, what talent I have! My singing is off-key, very very off-key, and my voice is terrible! After all these years of thinking that I have a marvellous voice, only to have my thoughts shattered by an ugly voice owned by yours truly. It's really bad until it cannot simply be compared to a croaking frog. And my voice ain't sound good at all. No wonder when I went on an outing with my friends and we sang at the K-Box, she told me that I sound like a lecturer reading off a book.

I didn't believe her. But after hearing what I have sung, I wholeheartedly agree with her unfortunately.

This is bad. I suddenly feel so embarrassed after thinking back the countless number of times I sang songs in front of my friends, only to discover later that I'm a bad singer. Most of them were too kind, or shocked, in not saying anything... I am so not singing anymore songs from now onwards. There goes my talent in singing~

[+] There's more!

I really cannot believe I can pull off my Grade 7 pieces to my teacher pretty well today, and I am so proud of my own accomplishment! It's one of those rare moments where my pieces are actually played to "near perfection". I'm so happy, and I think I made her proud too =). But, I still need more practice though to polish up some nastier parts.

Yesterday, I spent English period helping out my friend with some problems on Chemistry and Maths. And, I really like it when he goes something like "Oh! I get it." and "No wonder! I could have got this correct!". It gives me a sort of sense of accomplishment. I really like that guy though, he has a cute personality but sometimes he can get really buggy. But forget about those instances. I just like hanging out with him and talk nonsensical things. Haha...

And yesterday I slept late as I was chatting with another friend online last night. She seemed rather down these past few days and she wasn't her usual chirpy state. I wanted to ask her if she has encounter any problems, but I didn't dare, not until last night. I think her best friend told her that I wanted to ask her something, so she simply told me to ask her directly instead of going a big U-turn. Sighing, I typed that I simply wanted to know what's making her feel so sad.

And well, after listening to her problems and telling me about it, I can't help but symphatise her. No wonder she's so stressed out lately. I mean, that's a hell lot of problems she's going through, and there are still countless others that she did not want to tell me yet. I didn't ask her more, because I believe that sometimes, some things are better not told. And it's personal anyway. So I tried my best to give her some advices and suggestions on how to deal with some of it, and basically I just lend an ear to her most of the time.

I wish that she will solve her problems asap. But I know that it's going to take a really long time. Problems don't just diminish just like that. I wish her the best of luck in solving them.

Well, these past few days, I actually started to hang out more with some of my peers in class. And it's really great to know them and stuff. At the same time, the relationships I had with my other friends in the other class slowly but is surely deteriorating. I take it as both a blessing and a curse. Oh, and I'm kind of glad that my best friend and I still communicate with each other, although our bonds weren't as strong as last two years. But it's still a great start.

It's only now I realise how valuable it is to have friends on your side. I mean, you can share your happiness, your sorrows (with only a few ones unfortunately) and other things. It gives me a feeling of euphoria! It's really amazing, it beats being lonely like 99.5% of the time. But still, I don't trust them all. Haha... I only maintain intimate relationships with only a few people whom I can trust and confide it. I don't know how I choose them, but let's just say it's my gut instinct.

I thank God that I finally rediscover friendships. Another one of the most important things to have in life. But I'm still cautious though, I generally try to avoid those who I feel should be avoided. I still don't know how I do it. It's like as if I'm born with some instincts.

Oh, and you know about the other guy I told you about in my previous post? I confronted him yesterday and just simply told him to do a better job. I'm glad that he got my message, and I can see that he tried his best in doing them. And because he did two of them pretty well, I'm going to post them up on Saturday in the notice board! But sometimes, I wish that he can find less pedantic articles. Yea, he's a nerd all right nice guy.

I shall stop here. It's a really Good Friday today! But 3 more weeks to the finals, and I'm not prepared at all! Bummer...

Self-reminder: Hit the books!

[+] There's more!

There's this guy who is part of my committee in school (part of the prefects' committee) and we are involved in putting up articles in a notice board specially allocated for us. Apparently, I face a major problem with him and that is, he just cannot create well-done articles.

Okay, so maybe my expectations are kind of high. Yes, that's partially true. But the head of prefects want us to create articles that can draw the student body to read. And that means, they must not only be attractive in terms of designing and layouting, they also must be interesting to read. Now this guy here, fails to attract, and it is very text-heavy. Countless number of times he had not done much to improve the articles, and time and time again I told him to work on it and improve it, but unfortunately, he still failed to do so.

So he had passed me an article, which is something to do with telescopes. No offense to him, but I find it rather too pedantic and deep for the younger readers and even adult passers-by to even comprehend. And the worse thing is, it's majorly unattractive, and ... it's so sad, I seriously am too baffled by words. I can't do anything to it, simply because its his work, and I can't just make it beautiful for him. I did that a couple of times already, and am not willing to do it for him again. I believe that it's something that he should learn to do and is expected to do. I mean, it isn't really that tough to manipulate MS Word to create an article that can pass my expectations. It doesn't have to be so nice and so beautiful that it dazzle the readers to cloud nine, but at least something that makes passers-by want to read!

And that is the whole point of our job. We make articles for people to read, so we must strive to first get their attention by making our articles attractive, and thus they will read. It's all about advertisement through design, telling people that our articles ARE interesting. It's saddening that, although this is quite true, most of the students don't even read our articles. Although there is a lot more reader traffic than last time's (I was not a prefect yet, but I could see that it's utterly dull.), but still not many people read it.

And you know what's worse? That is exactly the excuse that he gave me, asking me why do we even have to do such a "mundane, sad, ridiculous, redundant, unnecessary (you name it)" job. But it's not. Compared to the other committees, our work is like a breeze. At least I think so. (No, I don't think so. It's equally hard.) I just don't get it. Is he too lazy to even think creatively? I'm really surprised that he can't do that since he's one of the top students of the class.

So, I bet you guys would say "Why wouldn't you want to lecture him for bad work? I mean, you think he deserves it." I say, yes, you're right. But wait, he's one good buddy. I ... I just can't bear to scold him. Sigh~ I'm too "soft"! Although I hate to admit it. That is my problem now. I don't like to scold people. It's not nice. Although I can't be a real meanie at home! I just don't know what to do now. I really want to put up his article a.s.a.p., but unfortunately, his does not even pass the standard. And the head shall interrogate me once more of the delay, and how am I suppose to answer her?

How am I suppose to approach him without aggression? It's either I tell him off kindly (which I don't think it will work) or give him a very bad lecture (which may strain our relationship, and may bring about a variety of hostilities). I'm so stuck now, and I only have a few minutes to decide, before I call this a day and go to bed.

This sucks...

...

I'm so going to have difficulty in telling him off...again!

[+] There's more!

You know what, sometimes I just have to play a game or daydream and just slack off from my "priorities". I am always so concerned about time (having lack of time), yet I always snatch the opportunity, go away from all those workloads and just simply have fun. I seriously don't know why I am like this, I mean, I am not really like that last time.

Everytime when I have to study or do an important biggie, I will moan and groan, and immediately, I put them aside and quickly turn on my computer and get online, surf the Internet and looking for some "random" stuffs. I really don't want to elaborate so much on that, I leave them to your mature imaginations.

Otherwise, I get on TV and quickly tune in to the latest cartoon series. And when the clock strikes 3 p.m., I immediately go down and hunt for food. Groan again when there is none. And I'll get back up and play or waste time until, well, it's 9 p.m. and I shall cry in horror because I "forgot" to do this or that.

And I can slowly feel the effects. Deterioration of work quality is definitely the most imminent. Why am I soooo lazy? Why do I keep shunning away from studying, when I actually love doing so? Why is it so hard to get into work mode? Was I born like that? I don't think so, I wasn't certainly like that last time.

I detest changes. Seriously. I hate to adapt myself and be flexible. When I say I will do it, I will either commit my whole mind to it, or not at all. Everytime when I try to concentrate on my work, my mind just simply wander off to think about some pretty random things.

This blog is written pretty badly, forgive me for that. I'm just too tired to blog. Yea, I have to burn the midnight oil yesterday and finish off a project, which majority of the class didn't do. I think my group was the only one to do so...

Besides that, there is a lot that I want to blog about, you know, reflections on my own life, my friends. Who they really are inside, and yea, stuffs like that. I feel so upset that I even started to despise my best friend a little. It's really bad. I doubt him, because he tried to hide a lot of things from me. Probably deceive me, or was it my imagination that is overworked? And he's a hypocrite too! Or maybe not. I don't know! My friends know him so much better than me. So much of calling ourselves "best friends".

I don't get a lot of things in life. I know I have yet to learn from them. But sometimes, even my very stubborn nature cannot learn from experiences. Once bitten, twice shy doesn't always apply to me. I keep making the same mistakes, and regretting about it again. Countless number of times. My major mistake was procrastination as you can see. Bummer!

You know what's the worse thing? They say life is shitty. I myself have even experienced it first hand. And yet...

I DON'T ADMIT IT.

I live in my fantasy world. I hate to get out of my sanctuary and face the harsh life. I just want to be left alone there, thinking about happy things, pleasurable things, and enjoy all the fine things in life.

Unfortunately, that isn't possible.

I feel so depressed. All I want is just happiness.

[+] There's more!